Posts from — June 2011

I’ve been reading about how NYC Mayor Bloomberg wants to turn New York into the gay wedding capital of the universe.

You know I have to say, I’m not crazy about bloomie. I didn’t like that he snagged a third term especially after being so pissy when folks wanted Giuliani to stay on a little longer after 911 and I’m not a Giuliani fan. Don’t get me wrong. It just bothered me on principle.

I also think Bloomie went to far when he decided folks now can’t even smoke outside in public parks. I don’t smoke but don’t they have rights too? Okay yes, I used to smoke so maybe I feel their pain.

I did like when Bloomie created 311, the all-purpose phone number you can call for just about everything you need to know from what side of the street to park on, to how to reach any city agency.

But right now I’m kinda digging Bloomie. New York has had it rough, like of course everyone else has in this economy, but I like the chance to celebrate the passing of same-sex marriage in NY by turning NY into the most welcoming lavender beacon of light the world has yet seen. And you know what that it can and will bring big wads of cash into NY is a great thing too. The gay rights movement started right here, a fifteen minute walk from where I live. Is there a better place to dance at your wedding?

As a gay wedding caterer I’ve been catering gay and straight weddings for 23 years, but I’ve never been able to cater a legal wedding for my brothers and sisters and that’s been something of a quiet lonely feeling that I never realized until now. I guess it’s like a long subtle stinging pain that you don’t really notice until suddenly, miraculously one day it’s gone. I’ve watched hundreds of couples say “I do!” but never felt included in the simple right they had. I don’t want to get married right now, or anytime soon, (so perhaps my friends can stop text messaging me and asking hmmmm) but knowing I have the choice, wow it’s ions beyond thrilling.

I do hope it catches on and becomes federal one day soon, but for now, my heart is filled with so much joy over how far we’ve really come.

I’m old enough to remember when walking down the street in most parts of NYC holding your same-sex lover’s hand meant risking you life. There are still plenty of parts of NYC that I still wouldn’t risk it and once you are out of the city …forgetaboutit.

I had a long talk with my best friend about her marriage. She is black, her husband is white and she said when they traveled in the south they risked their lives holding hands. We realized we had more in common than we had realized. After all interracial marriage was against the law in this country for quite some time too. I felt closer to her after that chat and still do.

The gay pride parade in NYC was magical this year. The energy was so celebratory and welcoming. Everyone smiled and the weather was flawless. I came home walking on air and blisters holding the hand of my girlfriend all the way across town and not caring what anyone thought of it.

I did a few things yesterday that I never do. I am certainly not in the in the closet but when it comes to my business I market myself as simply a great, (they say) caterer, not a great gay caterer. I welcome all clients and always will and don’t announce my sexuality. Why does it matter anyway? It certainly should not. Do you care if your plumber is gay? Why care if your wedding caterer is gay?

But yesterday, filled with joy and pride I eblasted all our clients and peers and announced I was out loud and proud and thrilled to celebrate marriage equality in New York. It was a scary moment because half the people on the list probably didn’t know I was gay. When a gay groom-to-be of mine came to visit, I had him witness me putting up the I DO support marriage equality sticker in my store window. Standing back and looking at the bright red sticker in my window, I realized that without meaning to be, I’ve been a little bit in the closet all these years.

It’s entirely possible that my eblast will mean I lose clients and that the sticker in my window will mean I scare away perspective clients. But the feeling in my heart is bigger then green and you know what I have a feeling that this is going to be a very, very good year to be an Out Loud and Proud Wedding Caterer.

Pride is a wonderful thing.

oh man
is there a better way to usher in the amazing gay pride celebration
in New York City then with the passing of gay marriage
the image of crowds of people celebrating outside the Stonewall bar
in the west village last night
where the gay rights movement largely began
it just gives a girl goose-bumps
after many years of hope and struggle
we are finally making it
equal rights moves one huge giant step forward
wow
wow
that’s all i have to say
and of course
hurray!

Growing up mostly on the south jersey shore, with a heaping few months a year on the north florida shore, it wasn’t exactly like I was in gay friendly territory. In Jersey, you had to get in your car and drive about 45 minutes before you could reach a gay club, in a gay tolerant town, or well, a part of town, or well at least an area that holding your lovers same-sex hand didn’t mean a sure way to get your ass kicked. In North Florida? Forgetaboutit! My family caused a sensation when locals found out we were Jewish. I can’t even imagine what it would have been like to go back there after I came out and try to be any semblance of out lout and proud.

But New York, well to be more specific here, Manhattan! Oh man that was always the Mecca of all things cool.

After leaving a town that seemed to notice everything about you, from the way you dressed, to who you dated, how much money your parents had and what you ate for lunch and judged you by each detail, (anything that broke out of the norm; cause for scandal! ) to New York City! A place so busy, so diverse, so fast and so filled with edge that you could walk around in a garbage bag and folks would hardly notice. Actually a great pal of mine in her punk rock phase did just that. Cut the arms and head out of a large black garbage bag, put it on, belted it in her Ferucci belt, pulled on fish-nets and stilettos and out she went dancing the hit of the party! The Mud Club, the Electric Circus, CBGB’S so many great clubs, nobody cared who you slept with unless, of course, it was them!

Suddenly, walking down the streets of the west village, soho, the lower-east-side it didn’t matter if I was a punk rocker or a street-walker, black, white, jew, Christian, cool, square or anything in between. Nobody gave a rat’s ass what I ate for lunch, what I wore or really who I was. I was invisible in a crowd and free to be who-ever I wanted to be.

I remember the first time I discovered Christopher Street, in 1981 and the wild open gay sex scene spilling out to the streets. Not only could men walk holding hands, but they could walk dragging each other on a leash.

And wow, wow, wow, my first gay pride parade in New York City! It was like just for one day, we were the majority of the universe and we ruled screaming with joy and release! Oh honey how we ruled.

When gay marriage passed in Massachusetts, I assumed that New York wouldn’t be far behind. I mean bad enough we weren’t the first to pass it but surely we would be the second or the third?!

But years went by and New York went from being the hip capital of the world to being somewhere in the scaredy cat middle.

We elected our first African American president and while he stood brave and tall on so many issues, seem to cave into legs of peanut butter when it came to gay marriage.

In the last 15 years, I’ve watched as Manhattan has turned into the emerald city, only for the super rich and super poor. My hood, the hippest in the nation, I thought, the east-village Lower east side now basically has two forms of housing; million dollar condos or lower-income projects. The hipsters, the middle-class, the anyone not rich or poor or lucky enough to have gotten their apartment before it was too late have relocated to Brooklyn, to Jersey City, to Queens and so on.

Times-square has turned into Disney land, the sex clubs banished to the outskirts. Little Italy is no longer a neighborhood, it’s now a block. Little Poland consists of two diners. Mom and pop book stores gone! Barnes and Noble superstores rule now. In Tompkins square park, I still see gangs of home-less kids with backpacks, pit bulls, piercings and tattoos. But mostly New York City, not so edgy anymore.

But still, are we not the liberal, intellectual, open-minded capital of the universe?
Not!
At least not when it comes to Gay Marriage. YET!!

But finally, at long last, we have a chance to right the wrong that was done two years ago when to our horror the state senate voted it down.
We are so close, so very close.
Gay pride in New York City is days away!
I pray, I hope, I beg, I plead that same-sex marriage will be a huge whopping YES in New York!

Oh my dears it’s time, so very far past time to remind the world, just how cool New York can be.

I gotta say the world has rarely experienced a more unfortunate name
Then Rep. Anthony Weiner has given his situation.

Elliot Spitzer’s name hmmm not great for the running with prostitutes thing but really the best you could get out of that was hmm he spit in or on them? It’s a further stretch. But for Weiner to tweet his welll Weiner…too sad and too easy. Stand up comediennes around the country are thrilled right now because he’s given them enough material to kill audiences for a good month or two!

But more then anything you gotta wonder just how stupid is this guy? Once you send something out to the world in twitter or facebook or myspace or anything else that may appear to be semi-private it simply is not and honey if you are an elected official, then maybe his last name should have been Idyat.

I don’t think Weiner should resign, but based on stupidity alone, he sure should have trouble getting re-elected and it really doesn’t help that when he scrunches up his fast he really actually does look like a weiner! An Oscar Meyer Weiner to be exact.

I do tweet and obviously post on the web right here and all that stuff but every time I think for a moment. If this comes back to me can I live with it?
Sometimes the answer is no, but the cause is so important to me that I post anyway and sometime that answer is no and I simply press delete but either way I am making an adult decision. This is the reason why kids should not be face-booking and tweeting because it can ruin their young lives and often does.

It’s hard to imagine that an elected official would be stupid enough to tweet his crotch and not worry about it, but in the end boys will be boys and sometime girls too. Sex can wipe out brainpower quite easily.

I think the little weiner should be a lesson to us all. You reap what you tweet!