ok
i must admit
that even though i swore to never watch american idol
again after they pulled off the biggest rip off
since GWbush stole the election from al gore
by giving the very very mildly talented chris allen the win
instead of the uber mega freddy mercury talented adam lambert
because of HOMOPHOBIA!

i wound up on a cold january tuesday night in provincetown
going for a little walk
and saw the lights of george's pizza on
this place has a bar
and heat
so i walked in and asked the bar dude if he would turn on idol
then a small group arrived thrilled to see idol too
and the drinks flowed
i think the bar dude owes me one!
so two vodka gingerales later (my new drink)
i watched idol
i was bummed not to see ellen.. the main reason i wanted to see idol
and posh spice was not much of a sub
sheesh can someone feed this chick
she makes karen carpenter look fat

but man
there were some lousy ass folks trying out
i mean wow
i sing better then some of these kids

but what i realized as some mediocre talents got in
was that you really have to be somewhat good looking to make it on idol
i don't know why i never figured this out before
but the blonde pizza face guy
he was not gonna get in no matter how good he sang
no high note was gonna open the doors for the zit king

Market-able was the word i heard
and i felt well blonde for not getting it before
you can't be over 28
to be on idol
you can't be fat
you can't be ugly
you can't have bad skin
so wow

susan what's her face from england
boyle, doyle
she would never fly here
that's lame

i want to see a 40-year-old fat lady rock the house!!!

yeah yeah i know
only an idiot would not have figured this out sooner
but sometimes i'm just a little naiive

sigh