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Tuesday, April 28

Low flying swine flu over NYC

Good lord
Who was the dolt who came up with the idea of sending a low flying plane?
With trailing fighter jet to downtown Manhattan for a photo op?

I mean holy friggen shit
Did you like forget what happened on September 11th 2001?!

New Yorkers may have seemed to have moved on ..on the surface
But I don’t know a single one who doesn’t get nervous at the sight of any plane that seems to be flying even a tad too low.

I did not see the plane circle the stature of liberty thank god..I had my nose buried in paper work all day, but even seeing the footage on the news with the people running, screaming in panic, brought it all back in one second like it was yesterday.

Just stupid is all I can say, cruel and well fucked up!


And like NYC needed anything else to happen, in the midst of just about everyone I know having nuclear allergy attacks from the highest pollen count, maybe like ever, the swine flu hits NYC, so now we’re all wondering if our allergy attacks are the @&^&@&**@*( swine flu!

I asked one of the guys who works with me, “how can you tell if you are having allergies or the swine flu.”

He answered, “If it’s the swine flu, when you sneeze a pork chop falls out!”

Okay that was stupid, but funny and sometimes you just need to laugh.

Thursday, April 23

American Idol Bound

OH honey's i have to say this out loud
my darling Miha-la
who I think of as a smart classy
dude with excellent taste
is hooked on American Idol
so one day a couple weeks ago
i made the terrible mistake of checking it out
and now after avoiding the entire mishegash for years
and thinking everyone who watches it has a mental problem
i find myself hooked

i mean i even passed up watching Bad girls
the most excellent series about women in prison
to see who got voted off last night
oh
i am ashamed
ashamed

so okay phew
glad i got that off my chest
now i must say

i just love adam
that dude is so much better then the rest
that if he doesn't win
i'll know this crap is rigged

simon makes me ill
but then i think that's his purpose

and blind or not
i was happy they got rid of that sappy blind dude
scott i mean he was no ray charles

last night they voted off lil rounds
first of all
anyone named Lil Rounds
needs to be voted off
this chick had the moves
and the energy
but honey
she did not have the voice
no matter how much she tried to cover it up with screaming
and Anoop desai
dude
forget it
good riddance to him too


next to adam
i dig the 16 year old punk rock chick
she can be second runner up

so okay
now you know
rossi the bitch
is watching the @^&@&**@*@*( american idol
please don't hold it against me

Saturday, April 18

don't piss on the chef

Ya know maybe it’s because way back before I owned a catering company
I was a chef
Or maybe it’s because way back before I was a chef
I was a bartender
Or maybe it’s because way back before I was a bartender
I hung out with lots of starving artists who supported themselves
Waiting on tables
Or maybe and mostly it’s just because I’m a semi decent human being,,
But I just can’t understand people who treat the service industry like they are lesser human beings..

Oh you’ve seen em…the prick at the bar trying to get the bartender’s attention by snapping his fingers..

The trio of yuppies at a table who call out to their waitress, “Hey sweet thing, can you send another round?”

The hoity toity uptown snobs, who always seem to be looking down never into the eyes of their doormen, housekeeper, dog-walker, and yes, sometimes even their caterer. This reminds me of what my pal Mamie told me about growing up as an African American in the south and being told that she should always lower her eyes to a white person. For some uptown types, anyone who works with their hands isn’t worthy of direct eye contact.

So listen to all those who like to condescend to their waiter..try and remember that same person who you just ordered around like a dog does actually have access to your dinner before you do, maybe a whole minute of alone time with said meal and let me tell you after what this girl has seen, I am always extra nice to the person waiting on me, cooking my food or making my drink...granted that last one is just to score a free round, but i swear i'd be nice anyway!

Wake up world…we were all created equal! Whether you;re a construction worker, a waiter, an ill mannered bee aaatches or a banker and these days the finger snapping bankers of last year may very well wind up waiting tables this year...now there's a karma slap for ya!

They say be nice to everyone you meet on the way up, cause you might just see them on the way down...well this little cowgirl doesn't ever plan on heading down, but i thank god that i've always been nice to my wait staff because 20 years later, they show up everywhere; as the owner of the antique shop i am browsing at, as my bank teller, as the owner of the restaurant i am eating at..and thankfully they are always quite happy to see me. PHEW!

so kids for me, tip your waiter an extra 5 to 10% over the normal 20 today and yes.. damn it 20% is the right tip, not 10 and not 15..

rock on

Thursday, April 9

viva the change

well kids i've been outa town for a week
so sorry not to post sooner
while i was away i did something i never normally do
which was to read the paper every day
jeez i almost felt up-to-date
read all about obama in prague
and all round europe
and i gotta say i felt proud of the guy
and honey
its been a long ass time since if felt proud of
an american president

and really
have you ever experienced anyone
working this hard
this fast
i mean republican or democrat you gotta hand it to the guy
he is cranking

the north korean missile mess
did not thrill me
even if they're a worse shot then my grandmother
and she's been dead for 50 years

i am starting to feel more optimistic about the economy
about this country
and about the leadership in the white house
change surely has come
bring on more of it


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