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Thursday, January 22

viva the dreamer

im out here on the frozen tip of cape cod
january in a summer resort
is a strange thing
all the bars, the t-shirt shops, the ice cream parlors, the lobster restaurants, the art galleries...closed, boarded up, left with a simple sign that reads "See you in the spring"
it's cold here
colder by far then nyc because this little strip of land called provincetown gets hit with the icy winds from the bay and the ocean
i am told the new york times this sunday will feature a story on going to ptown off season as a get-away
that's a good thing for a town that used to have a lively year-round community
but now with the condos making it un-affordable for the year-rounders and the fisherman gone because the fish are gone
this town needs a boost in january
but all that aside

i do love it here now
i love walking down the snow covered beach feeling like the only person in the world

i love stepping into one of the only restaurants open
is it 3?
and being greeted with a hearty hello
by a waiter thrilled to see me
the best table is always available
at Nappy's i have dined happily by the gas fire-place two nights in a row
i recommend the salmon by the way

all is quiet
except of course for the amazing Mews restaurant which even now is packed
but this is a destination eatery
and worth the trip plus they offered for two-for-one night
and two filet mignons for the price of one is not a bad idea in this economy
but the mews was too crowded for what i came for
what you should come for
for the january of this town
for the soleful, soulful january

i love that even though its so cold i felt frostbite nipping at my heels
quite literally from too long a walk
i feel warmth in my heart
the sun on my face
the ducks waddling out of my way on the beach
there is a haunted beauty in a summer town
in january
a lonely
lovely
cruel and kind
beauty
that does awaken
the writer
the painter
the lover
the singer
the dreamer
in any of us

it's a new world after all
isn't it?

a new president
a new hope
a new day

a chance perhaps for ....peace?

i hope the dreamer in all of you
can come out and enjoy the day

or the night

have it your way
it's your dream

Tuesday, January 20

The Obama Call

Last night I watched the re-play of the amazing WE ARE ONE concert and production in front of the Lincoln Memorial, where performers from Bruce Springsteen to U2, to Stevie Wonder to James Taylor to Mary J Blige sang out to honor Barack Obama. I was moved to tears. In front of the gaze of Abraham Lincoln the great emancipator, a celebration was unfolding of our first black president.

Today I watched as Barack Hussein Obama took the oath to become the 44th president of the United States. His speech was moving, powerful, loving and brave and determined all the things we need in a president today. Again I was move to tears.

Again I thought of Lincoln and could almost feel him smiling down on us.
"Finally" I could hear him whisper...

Today, the day after Martin Luther King Day, an African American has become president of the United States! It just makes you believe that anything is possible for anyone and really, I think that is Obama’s strongest message.

We can do anything, if we stay the course, stick to our core values; hard word, loyalty, decency, honor.

Watching Dick Cheney wheeled out on a wheelchair, seeing G. W. Bush standing next to Obama looking small and meek, made me think, how the mighty have fallen. Except that I never felt Cheney or Bush were mighty but rather, weak men with access to great power, that they quickly abused.

But this is not the day to dwell on the mistakes and the mistake makers of the past, this is a day to dwell on the now and the future. This is not a day to scream at Republicans. This is a day to hold hands with both parties, to stand united against poverty, terror and strife.

I do feel that Barack harnessed the great wafts of love, joy and hope from the crowd and sent them back twice-fold with the message; we all must do our part.

This is not the time to sit back and wait to be saved by a new president but to jump in and try to change the world.

Let us not ask what Obama can do for us, but rather what we can do for Obama. But then this is not his day, this is our day. This is an inauguration of a new kind of thinking. Gone is the you and them. Here is the we and us.

Mr. President, I hear you loud and clear and I salute you.

Saturday, January 10

A Time for Taking Inventory

I made the mistake of watching CNN last night before I fell asleep

This is not a good way to get a good night’s sleep

Or rather

DUH!


It was all doom and gloom about the economy and I like many of you
felt frightened watching it

So I woke up at 6am, a few hours before I had to or wanted to feeling all stressed out.
and rather then force myself back to sleep I sat with it

I sat with all the fear most of which I realized was exaggerated or irrational

I sat with the question, “what is really going on in my blonde head?”

Here’s what I came up with


I know what its like to put together 69 or 70 cents to try and make a meal. To live on four-for-a-dollar pasta, 50 cents bread and four-four-a-dollar tomato paste, to make casseroles out of little more then this that might last the whole week, accented when I did have extra cash with canned peas, tuna fish, cut up hot dogs and dried oregano.

I know what it feels like to not be able to pay my gas bill and live without heat, under a pile of blankets. I know what it feels like to live in a dangerous hood and not be able to afford a phone.

I know all this, I lived all this, climbed out and up, way up. I feel pride that I survived. I feel more pride that I have not let the journey turn me dark.

This is not the rossi tooting her own horn column, this is the rossi saying I know what it feel likes to be poor.

When I give to the home less I say inside my head, “there but for the grace of god,”

Of course those years are decades ago and my life now is warm and comfy and privileged. I know this and I’m grateful, or rather when I’m reminded by things like watching the news, I remember to feel grateful.


Like many folks who made it, but recall vividly what it felt like to be doing anything but well, I can still smell the re-heated, cheap food, in my un-heated cheap kitchen, in the dangerous cheap neighborhood and I don’t for a minute feel haughty or above those who are still there..or those who wish they had a home to cook the cheap food in, in the first place.

What’s happening now is a reckoning. Its corporations left unguarded for far too long, filled with people who may very well walk past the home-less and sniff from snobbery, now holding out a huge cup and asking for billions. “Spare change?” they beg the government.

It is automotive industries filled with CEO’s many of which have not given a rat’s ass about changing their vehicles to save our planet and changing their oil needs to save our country, now holding out their hats and begging our country, “Please sir, spare some billions!” and we have to cave in, not for the CEO’s but for the millions of people who will be affected if the automotive industry fails, not the least of which is us.

I recall growing up my parents were what you call “Depression Babies.” No matter how much money they made, they never got over worrying about food in their formative years. My mom could make a dollar stretch like nobody could. It never occurred to me that I might live to see another depression. Like many of you I was affected by the recession but quite honestly after my pasta casserole years, it was like a day in Disney land. This certainly feels worse. So I believe the media when they start to throw around the word depression, not recession.

I don’t think it’s possible that it could anything remotely close to the great depression but it certainly is a time when people all around me are feeling desperate.

Desperate people do desperate things and that’s scary.

I did finally fall back asleep. It was a deep magical, warm safe sleep nestled in my heated apartment with the warm downy blankets and my purring cat. I woke feeling enlightened and if you would indulge me a bit I’d like to pass on to you what I have come up with.

Much like the way Jews take inventory on Yom Kippur, evaluating what we have done wrong and what we have done right and what we want to change in the new year, this is a time to take inventory, not just of our wallets but of ourselves. I believe that if all of us, with a bit of extra coin, will right now do something generous for a person in need and if all those in need will find the courage to ask for help if they have not, and accept it if its offered, we can right now start to change the world.


On Christmas, I put all the change I had saved all year in a big glass bowl into Ziplocs. I went out, looking for home-less people to give bags of coin too. The bags held between seven and ten dollars worth of change. The way the faces of the men and women have lit up when I handed them a bag full of money fills my heart with joy.

You know what? While I was walking around giving out all that money, I was not blowing cash on meaningless things like I might normally have been. All in all I might very well have come out ahead.

I think I am going to stop watching the news for a while and just start listening to my heart.

I have three bags of change left and I plan on giving them out today.
My bowl is now empty again and ready to be filled in 2009. I believe so long as I am giving, I will also be recieving. I'm not sure how this universe really works, but i do believe it's something of a cycle and giving today does come back to you, if not in your purse, then in your soul and really, what good is a rich bank account when you have a cheap soul to keep you company

Happy New Year to you.

Like everything else, I promise
This too shall pass.

Friday, January 9

Sadness for the Travoltas

Of course I don’t know John Travolta, but like many of you, I feel that I know something of him. As a kid I watched him play Vinny Barbarino in Welcome Back Kotter. I recall my pals and I would argue over who was cooler Vinny or the Fonz. It was usually a toss up. Then I witnessed his rise to super-stardom in Saturday Night Fever. This movie changed the way people dressed and danced for a decade. Talk about power! Then I recall after a string of fairly horrible movies, his career seemed destined for B movie land until Quentin Tarentino revived not only his career but Bruce Willis’s in Pulp Fiction. Travolta was on the top of his game ever after.

Okay granted the whole scientology thing weirds me out, although somehow it never felt quite as annoying with Travolta as it did with Cruise, maybe that’s because john has always seemed so much more willing to laugh at himself. Certainly performing in drag for Hairspray was a testimony to his willingness to do so and by the way, he rocked the roll.

I like Travolta. I like that he loves to fly and uses his skill to fly jets. Maybe I’m wrong, but he seems like a really decent guy and most likely a great dad.

Today I feel real sadness for what his pain and what Jett’s mom Kelly Preston’s pain must be like.

To be enjoying a wonderful vacation in the Bahamas and then lose your beloved son, for a any parent to lose a child, it’s got to be the worst thing a person can endure.

I think of the image of John trying in vain to resuscitate jett until the paramedics literally had to tear him away. It’s heart breaking.

I didn’t know Jett, but I do know he was loved. He was sixteen years old with his entire life ahead of him. This is beyond tragic.

John I don’t know if you will ever read this, but if for some strange reason you do. Know that myself and I’m sure countless other strangers feel for you today.

I hope you find a place in your heart that enables you to survive this and to feel joy, love, happiness and hope again.

I know that your life will be forever changed from this, how could it not?

Good luck to you


Monday, January 5

hamas hell

My sister-in-law’s brother, hmm that would be my brother-in-law? Cousin-in-law?
Oh what ever
In any case he built a beautiful home with his own hands
And raised his family and had a wonderful life
In the Gaza
Then Israel asked him to do what I have never heard of a western country doing
Leave
Give back the land
Just go
Leave his home and his life in the name of peace
So he did
He was relocated to what supposed to be a comparable home and it was anything but comparable. It was a depressing little cheap imitation of the home they’d had, but he and his family left in honor of peace.

Shortly thereafter, Hamas turned the Gaza into one huge missile launch and has continued to fire missiles at civilians in Israel for years since. Some of those missiles can now go as far as 40 kilometers!

At any point in all this time, Hamas could have peace. All they had to do was not fire any more missiles.

After years of being murdered and attacked from the very piece of land they gave back in the name of peace Israel has decided to do what anyone in their right mind would do
Defend themselves!


Is there a humanitarian issue here?
Of course there is.
Israel does not want to kill civilians.
Israel targets Hamas
Hamas like the cowardly terrorists they are hides behind a wall of civilians
When Hamas fires at Israel, they deliberately target schools, children, civilians,


The leaders of hamas when asked…if they would stop this war if Israel pulls out
Said they will not stop until there is no jewish state

How can you reason with this kind of enemy?
Could you reason with osama ben laden?
No

This war will not solve the problem
Hamas will continue to kill
And hide behind civilians

It us up to the Palestinian people
The fools who elected terror as their speakers
To stop them

All Israel can do is to slow them down
To try and remove their leaders and weapons
To try and buy itself some relief

I get so angry when I hear people denouncing Israel

If someone was firing rockets at your home every day
Would you sit there and do nothing?
Or would you fight back

If hamas wants an end to this war
Simply stop firing missiles

Israel is delivering food and water to the civilian Palestinians
When has hamas done this for Israelis?

It is time for the Palestinians and arab nations
And all those who denounce Israel
To denounce hamas
They have the power right now to stop this
All they have to do is stop shooting

Cowards
Bastards
I hope they do find their 72 virgins and then are eaten by them


This is what they deserve

Friday, January 2

hell no we should not go to work

today is not a day to go to work
i made the mistake of going in for a few hours
and have done nothing but drop things
and make stupid ass mistakes since i did
i think my higher power is trying to tell me
its a holiday weekend
get out of town now!
immediately
go
leave
vamoose
shooooo
chase your &#^*#*(#( inner child!

aaaaak!!

okay new years resolution
get rid of that damn work-aholic thing
its annoying


happy weekend you all
happy 2009

be happy
be well
im off
really off
im serious
im really going
this is the last productive thing i will do till monday
i swear

toodles

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