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Thursday, October 26
Jersey Girl
We New Yorkers have loved to make fun of folks from New Jersey
That is of course, until rents went higher then the Empire State in Manhattan and formerly snobby city folks high tailed it out to Jersey City. Then the displaced city kids said, it’s not New Jersey if it’s on the Path line. It’s just ya know outer NYC.
Having been born and raised on the Jersey Shore…I spent the last two years of my teen years explaining to New Yorkers that yes, while I was in fact from New Jersey…I never used hair spray. I didn’t drink beer and at that point in my life I hated Bruce Springsteen. Now, that I’ve been living in NYC for GASP 25 years! I like the boss…but I digress.
Today for the first time in a well,for the first time, I’m proud as hell to be from New Jersey!
FYI Asbury Park never counted as New Jersey…it was sorta like well how Atlanta is surrounded by Georgia…far too hip, edgy and alternative, like an island of leather in a sea of polyester.
But now Polyester is making a comeback!
Red Bank New Jersey former home to many a drunken high school excursion is the ex patriot capital of the universe
And New Jersey
Blessed
Advanced
Lovely
Not just stinky factories that you smell off 195 Jersey
but gorgeous farms, art galleries and endless beaches Jersey
Has gone and stuck up proper for gay rights!
Three cheers and four queers for The New Jersey Supreme Court who have just ruled that same-sex couples have the right, under the state constitution, to receive the same state benefits, protections, and obligations as opposite-sex married couples.
OH I’m just giddy with delight and pride!
Gay pride!
Jersey Pride!
We’ve come a long way baby!
So save me a stool at The Stone Pony (even though I hated the joint in high school)!
Open up the Tiki Bar on the Asbury Park Board walk, (I don’t care if it’s freezing out)!
And take me shopping at the Monmouth Mall!
This former Jersey Babe, gone NYC, but recently been sifting back to ASBURY PARK…is celebrating!
Wednesday, October 25
out foxed
when Christopher Reeve pleaded the case of stem cell research
no one said he's too paralyzed
why didnt he take his pills
hes acting
but because while in TV Michael J Fox has by chewing gum, by taking pills, by having brain surgery been able to hide some of the horror of his disease
and because he now...has been brave enough to step before the camera
and let us see the real deal....not a little gum chewing..shaking about, but the real, dis-figurement of Parkinsons all to help find a cure.. he is
cut down by Rush Limbaugh..
I thought this was a whole new low for Limbaugh and the conservatives..
If the disease Fox suffers from was "purely an act" i'm quite sure this guy would be thrilled to stop acting...not be forced off the screen by a terrible disease for which there is no cure
i think for fox to appear in public without his medicine as he did when he went to congress is brave..
he wanted us to see the ugly face of parkinsons
and yes the fat boy limbaugh did apologize
too much too little too late fat boy
take another pill...
meanwhile im sorry
right-to-lifers
this stem cell fight it just too ridiculous for my nerves
do you really think that little stem cell is gonna grow up to be a person?
sheesh
i gotta a whole lotta live cells in my under-ware right now
you can come save all of them
meanwhile
id sure like to see a cure for Parkinsons amongst many other horrible diseases
Friday, October 20
rockit
Have you read it in the newspapers?
Watched it on tv?
Last night
I
La Rossi as Miker put it
Went out dancing!
Yep not only that but I went to a huge ass girly girl, nightclub bash
Thrown for the 4th anniversary of GONYC magazine.
(thanks to editrixation- sharyn for the tickees..)
Honey lemme tell you, after 5 years as a bartender, 2 years as girly girl party promoter and 18 years (yes 18) as a caterer, this lil blondita does not drag her tuchas to la disco like everrrr
But ya know…even though this cowgirl has been technically single for some time now..
I wasn’t emotionally single till recently…ya know what I mean..yeah I think ya do.
Then I took time off to recupe after some surgery and that just gave me an excuse to postpone this whole single thing a little more.
Well it’s not like im ready to throw my hat into the mix…or anything like that…it’s just that
Well I think its good for me to shake my booty amidst 1,500 hot mamasitas at a nightclub if for no other reason then to make sure it shakes..
And it does honey
It truly does
Not only that but my good pal, the gorgeous AK who accompanied me and boogied the night away with me…swore on a stack of cosmopolitans that I was getting checked out..
So maybe I still got it..
Well anyway…dears
Just a small digression from my usual rant
To let you know
That the bitch is back!
oh
one major p.s.
here
AK
told me that i somehow missed the last night of the beloved CBGB"S
during which the rock-licious Patty Smith performed
oh dears
i am so heart broken
and yes i have actually only dragged my ass to CBGB's oh
shit twice?
but it was just the testimony to the nyc i dreamed of in the 70's
and the nyc i came looking for in 1981
as the talking heads sang..
"this ain't no mudd club or cbgb's"
and now
all gone
the last
last
last bit of punk left
the former home of the ramones
the place where punk was truly born
why did the world rush to save the stone pony
home of bruce springsteen
and not rush to save CBGBS home of punk rock
maybe its because punk
was always
and will always be
just outside of the mainstream
too far to save
too close to ignore
sigh
all of my beloved nyc
seems to be going away
CBGBS
im sorry
sorry
that i only went twice
maybe its jerks like me
who love what you stood for
but didnt throw down enough green
that are the reason you are gone..
for dee dee and joey
for johnny rotten
for all the bands
i close my eyes for a moment
and say a silent farewell
Tuesday, October 17
New york state o mine
My friends call me the quintessential
New Yorker
Jewish- spiritually, culturally but only actually drag my butt into a synagogue 2 to 3 times a year and then only because I have a terrible fear of forgetting how to read to Hebrew which I had to suffer through 13 years of Hebrew school to get down and well y know just in case any of this stuff turns out to be true
Neurotic- I have no idea why they say this maybe they have a tumor
Or the dust mites from their apartments have crawled into their brain
Fast- well I would explain this to you but I just don’t have the time
Bitchy- fuck you if you don’t think so
Eccentric- what you find something weird about orange sneakers and black leather as dinnerware? Depends on where you go to dinner now doesn’t’ it. I personally like to dine in trailer park cuisine establishments.
Cool- well of course darling- that’s firmly established- sexy too if I do say so myself
Color blind- the color wheel for clothing consists of black, grey, olive and blue only as a jean..anything else except of course for orange sneakers is an atrocity
Schizoid- well listen the writer side of me is busy right now and later on the painter side is busy and after that the chef side is busy call me later when im feeling like a therapist
Ambitious- cause if you want to live in Ma-Ha-Tan..you need to bring in the green..
I could always get my passport stamped and move to gasp…. An outer boro…but
No..no…better to dine on bread and water in the east village, then pheasant under glass in queens- sorry I just don’t want to leave the island..
Cheesy- my good pal la matrix from Miami pointed out- she’d never seen so much cheese consumed as the time she visited my soiree but it’s a thing ..wine and cheese for all occasions.. this is up there with two other nyc traditions- Chinese delivery food at midnight and cold hangover pizza for breakfast..
war torn- lemme tell you bout Crown Heights in 1981 baby—if the muggers didn’t get ya...the wild dogs would---
Tough- fuck you, your mother, your mother’s mother and your mother's father's mother!
Charming- yo mo fo forgetaboutit
Loyal-yo, don’t mess with my pal, she’s my sister and you mess with my sister you mess with me mo fo
Excellent traffic curser- you prickless prick, move your fucking ass, mo fo, prick bastard!
And lastly and mostly-
Creative- I would like to show you my display of head-less Ken dolls impaled into a large melon..i call this…melon balls..
Saturday, October 14
things i dont get
i would like to take a break to discuss something
i have little understanding of
and to see if perhaps you
dear, lovely and often attractive readers
might shine a bit of light
dental dams
i mean the safe sex kind
not the dentist kind
i don't understand exactly how it is they work
i have tried them
and still dont understand exactly how it is they work
you stretch this piece of rubber-latex whatever
over your face and then put your face over
someone elses well
lower half
and therefore do not get any koodies from their lower half
on your face
but what lower half koodies really pass on to face?
maybe ive just been NOT single for so much of my dating life
im just in duh land
but i think im missing something
perhaps some of my sister readers might
enlighten me
while we are on the subject
there is something else i dont understand either
the pleasure of drinking Red Bull
yes i get that the result its like a speed caffeine thing
but lord
the taste is like
really bad cold medicine mixed with bitters
and yet folks are chugging it like its nectar of the gods
clue me in?!
Wednesday, October 11
plane crash
I just stepped out of an hour of restorative Pilates
Turned on my cell phone
And got the frantic phone call from my brother in LA
Are you ok
We heard about the plane crashing into the building!
It was dejavus
911 all over again
The plane crash
The frantic family
This time it was a small plane, not a terrorist attack, (I think)
And two killed not 3,000
But
Phew
Its amazing how fast
It all came racing back
Like it was yesterday
Tuesday, October 10
north korea
ya ever have the feeling
that we're doing all this fighting with Middle-eastern terrorists, fundamentalists etc.
and then we're just gonna turn around and have our asses blown up by North Korea?!
North Korea reminds me of ya know in high school
there were all those bullies..that picked fights
but there was that one mother fucker who never picked a fight
just stood back and stared
and waited
and no one messed with him
cause the word was out that he was full blown crazy
and even if you were 10 times bigger
nobody likes to mess with a nut who might have a knife
so what exactly do ya do
with a hostile with nukes?
Saturday, October 7
Mrs Dex
ok
it finally happened
i am in love with ...
a man
yes i am honeys
DEXTER
if you haven't see this great new show then you are truly missing something
who knew a serial killer could be so adorable
i guess this says a lot about me hmmm
but its a smart well thought out show
and i just dig it
maybe along las
the great void left with the exodus of Buffy the Vampire Slayer
will not finally be filled..
sigh
on other news
i was a good little jew babe
for yom kippur
went out to jersey
took my sis to the same synagogue that i last went to when i was
10 years old
i kid you not
and the wacky thing was
30 years later
the same rabbi was still there
and some of the oldish ladies
were in their same seats
only now they were way old ladies
i was weird
i cant imagine a life that consistent
as to go to the same synagogue
for oh 30 to 50 years
but then
im of the nomadic hebrews
we move around a lot
i did repent for a few sins
made a few more soon after i repented
damn it
and broke my fast at a bar in asbury park
well over an hour and a half before the jewish food-a thon was supposed to happen
but im thinking the allmighty will give me an A for effort
anyway
thats all i got in me for now
adios
Wednesday, October 4
Foley Fakaka
I think La Matrix (see linkie love list dears) has it down
When it comes Mark Foley..
I don’t give a rat’s ass if Fakaka (fakaka you know, fucked up shit bag) Foley was molested as a kid, is a drunk, or whatever else hes got up his wazoo..
Doesn’t give any excuse to mess with kids
And damn I hate it when another closet case comes out and gives homophobes ammunition against gay people..
So hey instead of getting rid of the pages, how bout we get rid of the clergymen who molested Foley, then get rid of the church for making the clergymen, get rid of the Republicans cause some of em knew about Foley and did nothing…soon we won’t have any more problems..
Right
He’s a sick prick
He needed to go
End of story
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