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Wednesday, July 27
the bitch is a new yorker
okay
here in provincetown massachusetts (did I spell that right)
i am reminded yet again that i am truly a new yorker
and here are just a few of the recent reasons why
cause when i asked the maintenance guy who supposedly collects free rent to run the building my rustic little apartment is in to fix the screen that's busted open and lets half the mosquitos on cape cod bite my ass
he says tomorrow
tomorrow
and after 6 days of this
i go over his head to the landlords daughter and bitch and moan until the friggen screen gets fixed
cause im a new yorker and tomorrow is yesterday motherfucker
cause when the shuttle bus that you wait 20 minutes for
to take you the beach has to go off duty cause it ran out of gas
im the one screaming
all you do is drive a ^&%%$#^&* shuttle bus back and forth to the ^&%$#%^&* beach...and you can't remember to put in a little gas
helloooo!
cause no matter how hot it is I will never ever ever
wear a mesh shirt of any kind
its just wrong
cause
i order a drink and ask for chips and salsa
and the salsa runs out after two dips but the bartender pretends he doesnt see me as i point to the empty bowl
so i pretend i dont see him as i point to the empty tip
cause
i cover my entire body with bug spray at the site of a flying anything
new yorkers dont do flying bugs
just crawling ones
cause
i dont get why anyone would sit their fat ass on a boat
and spend the whole damn day waiting to see site of a whale
i just saw a hundred of them get on the ^%#^&* boat
cause i just dont think you should be going all the way to provincetown to look and point at all the silly gay people
hey we look and point at you too dipshit
do you have any idea who friggen stupid you look wearing shorts
and socks that go halfway up your shins
cant wait to see your tan lines
cause
when i'm on the beach
i get that your kids are cute
and your dog is cute
and maybe you and your other half are cute too
but stay the fuck off my towel
just cause im sitting on the beach
doesnt mean i like sand
can you say...
the bitch is back
Monday, July 25
far out fonda
oh say what you will about jane fonda
i just like the woman
now after taking a whole lotta shit for decades
about her anti-war effort in vietnam
shes gonna take off cross country
in an anti-war in Iraq bus powered by vegetable oil
yep vegetable oil
She expects to take off on the
vege bus in march
and you just gotta admire the ladies balls
i mean you really do
Fonda after being scared silent since the backlash of her anti-vietnam efforts
thinks of her speaking out against a war in Iraq
as her coming out
and i can certainly see why
so listen i know
shes controversial
and maybe her day in the sun
set when dinosaurs roamed the earth
but i just like the lady
shes honest
gutsy
says what she feels
and anybody who will get in a vegetable oil bus
in an effort to end war in iraq
at least deserves a little respect
if for no other reason then to say
thats chutzpah
okay?
Friday, July 22
explain this to me PLEASE
lordy
take a little break from NY and the news
and the whole friggen world is blowing up
its a strange place Provincetown
in a lot of ways its like stepping off the world
when I come here
going into some sort of altered universe
or shall i say
alternative universe
not that folks here dont care
a lot
its just that
they're too busy
sun bathing
writing
painting
working
riding bikes
having sex
flirting
or well
escaping their lives
except of course for the year-rounders
whos life is ptown
and they're busy hiding from the hoards
i mean hoards of summer tourists
but i felt a pang of guilt
about my beloved NYC
having back packs checked in the subway
seems the wounds just finally healed over
on the surface anyway
and they're getting opened up again
and whats it all for
thats what i dont get
how the hell does this help
the terrorists?
what the hell does this do for their cause?
i can't figure it out
cause it just makes us
hate them
want to kill them
in fact quite often kill them
can someone clue me in
cause obviously they must feel this is working quite well
they keep doing it
for what??
Tuesday, July 19
depp love
well dears it is 10 shades hotter then hell
here in my rustic little ptown pad with no AC
no ventilation
and no cross breeze
aaaaak
but im on the water
and im writing and painting and doing all the stuff
i cant seem to do when im not in ptown
so what the hell
manyana i will buy a damn window fan
meanwhile
i did see
charley and the chocolate factory
man was it wonderful
love johnny depp
love tim burton
and what i really love is that they played up the dark side of wonka
something id always sensed as a child
wonka is really an interesting and rather twisted anti social character
emersed in candy
playing peter pan
so nice to see depp do it justice
also was a really nice break from my life
which with the 4 month long relocation
and the boat loads of money it cost me
was just not fun
but okay
it over
and my new place is fabu
anyway
i digress
my point is
hmm
actually i didnt have it point
and i dont have to
im on vacation
na na nana naaaa
Sunday, July 17
wireless mama
oh im feeling like all 8 days of chanukah and
two christmas eves rolled in
here i am in my hovel in ptown mass
where the place is so rustic
you DONT drink the water
and i was doodling around with my mac IBOOK
and voila
i had wireless internet access
i was like
HUH
but yeah
due to the kindness of some soul out there
i can just sit my tuchas down
and sign
on
oh its a lovely thing
and lemme tell ya
this dinasour
mama
has NEVER USED WIRELESS INTERNET BEFORE
MAN ITS FAST
hehhe
and no endless dial tone
yeah i still have dial up
so shut up
anyway
of course now that i finally
figured out how to heard my radio show on my laptop
im in ptown where i can here it from the radio
but still
its exciting
on other news
i have decided to use my time in ptown
to NOT
TALK ABOUT BUSH
the bad kind
not the good kind
for oh
lets say a week
so this is my official
i will not bash bush week
ill just let him do that for himself
wooo hoooo
wirelesssssss
tis fun
Thursday, July 14
rove vs. no way
Oh aren’t we all just soooooo surprised about bush’s boy Karl Rove.
Yeah what a shocker.
Yep when the identity of Valerie Plame as a CIA operative who just happened to be married to an ambassador and who just happened to speak out against the baby bush just happened to get exposed
Oh yeah
Well there was no way this was coming from the bush camp
And now will the baby bush
deny all knowledge
Or course the little coward will
Well of course
What a man
What a manly man
Will he hang Karl Rove
Doubtful
Can’t have that guilt by association thing can we?
Cooper trying to cover his ass from revenge by the bush camp
Had refused to reveal his source but thankfully after
Well not wanting to go to jail and that little confidentiality agreement being waved by rove is chatting up a storm,
Now Judith Miller of The New York Times,no doubt scared shitless of the bushies is rotting in prison for refusing to disclose her source
Guess she’ll be getting lots of presidential perks once she’s released
Or not nobody likes yesterdays news especially when it makes them smell bad
But I shed no tears for miller who didn’t have the balls (or well whatever girls have) to speak out when she should have this was not protect your source kinda thing this was different
So she goes to jail and what karl rove maybe will play golf or ride a pony at the bush farm
Right
Be interesting to see how the bush camp weasels out of this one
But we didn’t see rumsfeld ousted after the atrocities under his watch
My guess is we wont see rove ousted either
Cause bush does nothing wrong ever
And neither do any of his top guns
Wednesday, July 13
Big Ball of Bull
the Bush mantra
That we need to fight in Iraq to prevent terror elsewhere
Does seem kinda like ummm NOT
After the London bombings
Hey Georgie
Its sure is working
Shoot them bastards in Iraq
And keep em off us and our allies worldwide
Yep
Works great
Just like the Bush mantra about a lot of other things
That seem to turn and spin as he digs himself deeper into his own bullshit
What id like to know is
Why not spend some of those billions of bucks spent in Iraq
Where there were NO weapons of mass destruction
Into actually
Ummm
Fighting Al Qaeda
And oh yeah remember osama ben laden
Remember him
Yeah those guys
But back to Iraq
Just what is the point here
The reason to go to war turned out to be a boldface lie
The promised two week war by Rumsfeld
May now according to bush turn out to be a 12-year war
Billions of bucks down and growing
And the people of Iraq?
Do ya think they’re happy to see us there?
Is it really getting any better?
Or are our soldiers getting blown up every day?
Sadly at this point, we have to finish something of what we started
Or we pull out leaving the country is such a shambles that it will be ripe for Taliban in Afghanistan part two
But lets just start talking the plain truth here
The FOLKSY Christian truth
Our reasons for going were bullshit
There was no proper planning
No exit strategy
And now are running ourselves broke
And wearing out our military
And may very well wind up
Bringing back the draft to clean up this shit
For what
A little less cowboy
And a lot more intellect would have
Put us in a place right now
Where we really were
Fighting the war on terror
And not just handing terrorists around the globe
A whole lot more volunteers and a whole lot more reasons to
Kill innocents
The London bombings do not strengthen the Bush
Case in Iraq
They weaken it
And quite honestly
I am sick and tired of this president
Harnessing the tragedy of “911”
And every other terrorist attack to snow us all for his own very personal agenda
Thousands of people have died for his agenda
And a little honesty
A little integrity right about now
Might be the least
This little imp
Could do
Thursday, July 7
london calling
I remember when I used to watch the news
And terrorist attacks around the world would come on.
But they always seemed so far away so removed from me. I guess I was like millions of Americans were….something of a protected virgin.
September 11th changed all that.
I’ll never again see death by terror flashing on the television or computer screen and not see the towers fall, smell the strange burnt dust smell, see the faces of the broken men handing their plate towards me to fill.
Like so many of you…terror is no longer a distant stranger to me.
I almost laugh at how incredibly naive and safe I felt such a short time ago.
So it was with a new kind of attention that I saw the photographs of broken and distraught people in London today and it was with a new kind of heart that I think I felt something of their pain or at least a lot more then I was capable of on September 10th 2001.
The cold murder of innocent women, children, civilians, just normal folks going to work during rush hour, this is the mark of today’s terrorist.
The same kind of terrorist who blows up school buses in Israel
The same kind of terrorist who annihilates families at a Passover Seder.
This is not noble
This is not the work of martyrs
This is cowardly
Disgusting
And can and will only result in sending the culprits to a flaming hell or whatever our higher power has in store for the worst kinds of excuses for humans.
A group calling itself the Secret Organization of al-Qaida in Europe claimed responsibility.
Well secret al-quaida I have this to ask…
What was the point?
To get people around the world to listen to your side?
To get your way?
To show the Moslem religion to be the most holy?
Seems to me all you have done is create enormous hatred towards Moslems around the world and towards your group.
I feel sorry for the true holy people who follow the Moslem religion
And do not believe in murder. They will surely pay the price for your atrocities when others lash out in revenge against you.
You are pigs
You are spine-less
You are sub-human
You are jackals
May you and your never to be had 72 virgins
Rot in an endless inferno
Tuesday, July 5
greetings from asbury park AAAAK
well i have been officially christened
as an asbury park new jersey
vet
my house was robbed
yep the little fixer upper
that i fixed up
to weekend at for a spell
then rent out
as a smart ass investment
got robbed
the odd thing was
what they took
here is the list
3 bottles grey goose vodka- $105
2 cases stella artois beer- $60
1 cointreau-$30
1 case decent wine- $192
a boat load of cleaning supplies and garbage bags- $100
soap?- $5
now heres where it gets weird
they took a 30 pound wheel of jarslberg cheese that i had leftover
from catering lets see at $5 per pound thats $150
then they took one of my striped throw pillows and replaced it with a blue throw pillow?? martha stewart the burgler?
and lastly
they went upstairs into the bathroom and took my toothbrush and toothpaste
how ^%#^#^^&#&## freaky
so i guess im looking for
some alcoholic cleaning crew
who are constipated from cheese and have clean teeth?
sigh
it was a crappy home-coming
but my savy realtor paul
immediately came over with two bottles of grey goose
paul is classy even is he is a republican
and la c
bleached everything in sight
so no more bad energy germs
sigh
my neighbor said
welcome to the hood
this is part of the asbury park initiation
but dang
they stole my toothbrush?!
anybody out there
got a weirder story???>
Sunday, July 3
Anthem
sung to the tune of our national anthem
ohhh sayyyy can you seeeeeeeeeeee
an end to war in Iraq in sightttttttt
what so proudly we bragged
would end in one night
and the rockets shock and awe
the bombs bursting allure
gave truth to blind eyes
the weapons of mass destruction were all lies
oh say george bush your planning is as badddddddddd
as vietnam part two
or Enron retirement fundsssssssssss
Friday, July 1
woe is roe
With this the 4th of july coming upon us
A time to celebrate liberty
And freedom
I beg of you
Do not let this country
Go to the rich
The right wing
The biased
Do not take a way a woman’s right to govern her own body
Do not let our country kill in the name
Of oil
Or might
Or right
Do not let our president
Who surely is
Not made in the mold or our great forefathers
Anoint another
Conservative
Anti-choice
Back-wards bigot
To the supreme court
Look to the sky
As the fireworks explode
And think of
Truth
Of open-ness
Of liberty
Of equality
And then look
At the white house
Look at the appointees this man would send to spend their lives
Making laws we must all live by
Protect yourselves
Protect women’s rights
Protect equal rights
Protect the right to love
Who you love
And tell this power hungry
Little idiot
That we don’t want his right wing
Picks
In the supreme court
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