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Wednesday, June 30
Farenheit 9/11
last night i saw "Farenheit 9/11"
and honeys i ask each and every one of you regardless of whether you hate bush or love him
regardless of whether you were anti- war on Iraq or pro war
regardless of whether you are a democrat or a republican
to go see this movie
please
lordy that was some scary, sad, funny, pathetic, infuriating, wild and supremely
un-believable shit
some i knew (hello Halliburton)
some i did not know (oil, oil, oil and trouble)
you know say what you will about Michael Moore
you have to give the man credit
he went up against the kazillion dollar car industry in Roger and Me
took on the NRA and Mr Charlie Heston..for Bowling for Columbine
but now
oh honey now hes gone up against the Bush Family
(wooooo the scary hairy bushes)
if it weren't for the fact that he'd make one hell of a martyr
id say Michael needs to hire a few dozen body guards
but man the red tape
and polite NO WAY ARE YOU NUTS from the big boy film folks
and the late night phone calls
and the threats
that must have landed on michael's door step trying to stop this flick
must have been MAJOR
so here's to you Michael
i dont like the way you dress
i don't always agree with you
i don't think you have style
tact
or grace
but honey
you got a big ass set of balls!!!
Tuesday, June 29
Mishegash in Iraq
can i just ask you all to say a little prayer that
giving back Iraq to Iraq
and sending saddam over there to stand trial by the people who's loved ones he murdered
might give Iraq enough dignity and closure
that this terrible bloodshed will end
because honey
i don't think any of us can stand to see another be-heading
i have to say i have gotten a bit lost and confused with all the entities over in Iraq at the moment
i know we have the peaceful civilians who just want to have normal lives
i know we have the rival leaders of the currently posted government and the shiite moslems
i know we have the raving lunatics who are out on the streets kidnapping, killing, torturing and destroying
but who else fits into this complex puzzle?
and what exactly do the raving lunatics want?
they clearly want america out of there
so will they now be happy?
and were they happier under saddam?
its gotten to be so crazy and confusing
and i never seem to see the nice folks who are celebrating being liberated
weren't there supposed to be nice folks who liked americans and considered us their heroes?
all i see are angry, broken, violent, sad and destroyed people
who don't seem to be very happy to see us
its just a big mess
and there dont seem to be any borders or boundaries
to allow me to understand the mess
so maybe one of my educated
well spoken
and articulate (mike?) readers
can fill me in on the mishegash in Iraq
hmmm
meanwhile
regardless of how you feel about the war
about the baby bush
about saddam
about iraq
can you just put aside your feelings and your politics for a moment here
and send loving thoughts
prayers
good vibes
energy
whatever you got
over there
so that blood stops being spilled
all over the streets
and all over
our eyes
Monday, June 28
gay pride
well dears gay pride came and went..
i saw the parade
cheered
queered and woo hoooed
and noted that this parade had a different feeling that they had in some years
it felt to me to be a tad more serious
more political
maybe because so many gay folks are feeling scared shitless that DUBYA will win again and throw away even more of our human rights, our gay rights
oh basically everything that we've been fighting for
and with gay marriage hanging close enough to sniff at
we feel like rabbits chasing after that big juicy carrot
so we write up our signs
Bush Lies
People Die
we march
EQUAL RIGHTS TO MARRY
we hope
please lord don't like a right wing Christian bastard tell us who we can or can not marry
and we stand tall
proud
and fierce
knowing that no matter what happens on election day
we shall not be stamped out
steam rolled over
and pushed aside
we are here
we are queer
get used to it
wwwooooohooooooooo
Thursday, June 24
ptown stuff
well my lovely time in ptown is nearing to an end
for this trip anyway
im listening to a hokey rock band play from on top of a barge
while i stare off at the fabu bay
tomorrow night, is, a ptown tradition
friday night art openings
so i shall go to one or many
today
i beached
and beached
and am i must say
looking a bit like
a while blonde tan little freak
and sexy too
and happy
cause i finally found a bikini top that fits me
so i bought two
on other news
ill be back in nyc
sat night
just in time to beg my cat lu lu to forgive me
clean my apartment
and wake up sunday
for GAY PRIDE NYC!!
woo hooo
some parade time
followed by rossi's annual pot luck
gay pride roof top soirree
ahh yes
then
sadly monday
is back to work for moi
but i have
had some fun
and relaxation
so i hope to be less evil come monday
anyway
s'all i got to say
see ya
Tuesday, June 22
the wedding caterer who cant marry blues
hey kids tis rossi of the beach
presently i am looking out over the bay while a huge ass thunderstorm is brewing and its way cool
ah nature
anyway the whole wedding there here is not nearly as major as id thought it would be the word is over 400 gay couples have gotten married in town hall but it seems most of them have been pretty low key about it
like my pal in town brenda who said she and her lover have been together for like 26 years (and still like each other!) and they just wanted to have a simple wedding after all this time, you know more then anything to say they did and they could and they are
i think thats kinda cool
anyway i was sitting looking out over the gray and rainy bay and it suddenly occurred to me what an odd position i find myself in in this life
you see, until i become a world famous writer/artist i make my living as wedding caterer
oh yes dears i have probably catered hmm something like 600 weddings?! who knows i lost count
one of my weddings just made center stage in the sunday new york times and can i say with no conceit meant here that all my couples adore me before, during and after they get married
i make the special day in peoples lives all the more special
i do everything in my power to help their wedding dreams come true
and yet
i am now allowed to get married myself!?
isnt this just a little ^%$#^&&(*& to you?
its okay for me to talk to the nervous brides for a year
calm down the groom
help the in-laws
plan the wedding
cook the food
hire the florist
hire the DJ
oh hey i can do just about anything when it comes to weddings except of course
have one
dont know why this just occurred to me today
but it did
and it does
and it do
hey its not like i have anyone to marry at the moment
unless la cubana wants to get off her fear of commitment horse (hmmm)
but it would be nice to know that this country was sticking a little closer to what its supposed to stand for
you know we are all equal and so forth
well im rambling
but listen for the moment im in ptown mass
and i can get married here
if i move here of course
and so far ive caught the eye of a well a lot of babes
so you never know
wink
Friday, June 18
Ptown
Hey girls and boys
and boy girls and girl boys
here I is
in Provincetown Massachusetts sitting in the beachfront adobe of my good pal Lizita
Lizita FYI has taken my psycho 15 year old JD AKA "monkey" on a two week heal his brain in ptown marathon and damn if he isnt a new man..
anyway it was cold and rainy on my first full day in town but i did not mind cause it gave me an excuse to run up and down commercial street spending on fortune on my little beach shack in the sky
on other news
i fully expected to see a kazillion couples in wedding gowns (the guys) tuxes (the babes) but it seems to have SO settled down to normal ptown june that I could hardly tell some worldwide news had happened here
ah well
15 minutes of fame and all that
lizita a most sophisticated trucker AKA documentarian AKA cat shrink
took me to the pre grand opening of the art association and museum here in town
of which yours truly has shown her work and is a member (smell me)
and i drank wine
but did not have enough money for the not so
loosey goosey donation policy
who knew i thought it was free
but will
I PROMISE come back tomorrow with cash
so i can retrieve my kidney
lizita who is sitting in front of me and laughing
has this to say to my readers
"walk softly but carry a big stick."
thankeee lizzeeee
now then for you who are in the need to know
the madonna concert was amazing
and honeys
if you have read my site for more then a week
you know im die hard rock and roll
but she does put on one hell of a show
i lost count as to how many outfit changes
dancers
shit
even an entire bag pipe and drum band marched out
the babe deserves some respect
s'all im saying
this is rossi
of the no money for wine
signing out
live and uncensored wooo hoooo
in ptown
Wednesday, June 16
Madonna and Rossi perfect together
shall i make you all soooooooo jealous?
shall i?
yes, yes, i think i shall
you see little miss rocker here
is going to see madonna at madison square garden NYC!
yep
honey let me tell you i bought these tickets 8 minutes after they went on sale a few months back
half of me wanted to scalp them for a thousand bucks a pop
but the rest of me could not turn down the oppurtunity to take a few of my
madonna loving pals to see the material mom
so we are going honey
yes
just me
my boy toy tommy....la cubana
and the wild kathleen
i am not a madonna fan dears
this babe is all rock and roll!!!
but i am a madonna in concert fan
and hey
how many more chances will you get to see miss thing in concert
anymore?!
so we are off
and after a night of shimmying and shaking
this babe
tomorrow shall be en route to my vacation in Ptown
yes a well deserved vacation after 6 weeks of CATERING HELL
AAAAAAAAAAK
so save your jealousy dears
unless you want to spend 6 weeks with a vat of raw chicken
ok?
anyway
im way into it
yes
i am
push up bra and all
wwwwweeeeee
Monday, June 14
still writing!
Hey folks
i need to send a shout out to all the good people who have taken the time to reach on up to the "memoriable" icon and click on my memoirs
i also need to give you an explanation as to why there have been so few new memoirables
the answer is simple
i stopped writing memoirs
i don't know how it started darlings
but i sat down and what poured out of me was a giant burst of semi-autobiographical
fiction
i found such freedom in writing fiction
maybe its cause you know when you right a memoir folks tend to know its about you DUHH
anyway
my last short story is now 140 pages long and i guess im just about ready to admit that its either a novel in the process or the longest ass short story every written
hence the lack of memoirs
but i did put up a dark little poem for you'all kind enough to want to read more
i'm afraid to post my novel in progress or even little smidgens of it
for fear of
showing the goods before they hatch
or well insert proper expression there if you like
but i wanted you to know i have not stopped writing ..far from it
and even finally plunked down a big wad of cash and bought myself a sexy new
IBOOK Apple to cart off to ptown where i can continue writing either the novel or the worlds longest short story
ill keep you posted
meanwhile
theres a new little thang
up on memoirable
kinda depressing
wrote it during a solid week of rain
but hey
im human
toodles
Sunday, June 13
Ray Charles
Im sorry Ray Charles died..
sorrier still that it happened during all the Ronald Reagan huplah
I almost didn't even know the great Charles had died..it so took a back step to the presidential funeral
and if ever a man deserved to have the full attention of the world when he died it was Ray Charles..
I'm not a music historian
so I can't tell you the details of the life and times of Ray Charles
but I can tell you about how this man entered and thrilled my own life
I had the pleasure of seeing Ray Charles in concert at The Beacon Theatre in NYC
oh about 20 years
he performed with a backdrop of ladies he called "The Rayettes"
and honey
he did rock the house
i was aware that night..
just as I'd been aware when I saw Ella Fitzgerald in one of her last concerts
that I was watching a slice of American history an immortal figure
weeve and bob and shimmy right before my eyes
speaking of eyes
it was hard to believe the man was blind
except for the helper who walked him on the stage
because the way he weaved and rocked off that piano bench
it was like he was fearless
and he was
one of the first non-rock pieces of music i ever purchased
was a tape tailor made for me
by a jazz collector in the soho
it was a full hour of
Ray Charles and Betty Carter Live...
and honey did that rock
when those two sang to each other
"Baby it's cold outside"
I thought I would lose my mind
I was young
just coming off my pink hair
and safety pins faze
and finding myself satiated by a kind of music that did not entail
screaming or the smashing of guitars was a relavation
in my kitchen on Friday while i was cranking out
the sauces, dips and marinades
for a wedding reception of 139 guests
we found a local station that was playing Charles all day
and honey there is more then enough of Charles to play Charles all day
and all night too
it was the perfect beat to my soft and long-ful heart
Dear Ray...
you will be missed..
I hope wherever you are today you can see
see us all so clearly
and see the millions of smiles
you helped create
Rest In Peace
Thursday, June 10
Reagan weirdness
hey darlins
i have to say im feeling a bit surreal about the whole reagan funeral thing
looking at this media coverage of thousands of people crying about him
heard they want to put him on a ten dollar bill
its like the guy was Lincoln or something?
honey am I missing something
cause honestly i dont recall ever meeting a single person
the whole time he was president who was crazy about him
i met a few who thought he was okay
but really everyone i met
thought he was kinda dopey
a bit out of it
not good with the economy
too conservative
and mainly just lucked out that Russia fell while he was in office
so whats with all the out pouring of love now?
did i miss something?
please fill me in here cause im a bit confused
or is this just the way history re-paints a person
would i have said the same thing about a lot of our former presidents?
were they not so great while in office but decades later
remembered fondly?
its just weird
hey
im still young
so the former president passing away thing is new to me
i think Nixon was the only other president i experienced dieing
and he was far too controversial a figure to warrant anything like this
and far too private
is all this about the fact that a former president has died and it doesnt matter what anyone t hought of him?
if thats the case..okay i get it ..its a patriotic thing
but sheesh
this is weirding me out
anyone wanna fill me in here?
Monday, June 7
see ya ronny
woo weee
darlings
there is something about submerging oneself into a non-stop whirlwind of wedding catering that really makes you feel like you stepped out of the universe
i mean hello im guessing im probably the only person i know who didn't know Reagan was dead till Sunday night hmmm
now i must tell you dears
i never liked ronald reagan
sure i got a little kick out of the ex actor making it to pres thing
but i just didn't think he did the country a whole lot of good
at all
reagan-omics?
what the hell was that?
but i did feel sorry for the old fellow when i heard about the alzeimers
and a little sorry for this country when i found out it had already set in while he was in office
but he lived to be a little under a hundred years old
got to be a movie star
got to be rich
got to be president
so even though his latter years were sad
and even though he probably forgot most of his grand life
i do think old ronny had a pretty great first 2/3ds of his life
so im guessing his death might be sad for some
but certainly not tragic
so here's to old ronny
who lived longer then most
had more then most
and then moved on
thats pretty much all i can say about the old dude
like i said
i didn't like him much
but i didn't hate him either
Friday, June 4
wedding blues
hey love bugs
have not posted since memorial day
because ive been knee deep in catering hell
yep im catering two weddings (no funeral)
got a sore throat thats making me talk like brenda vaccaro (remember her?)
and if i never see another piece of raw chicken again it will be too soon
but aside from that dear
im here
and still full of Chutzpah
its days like today
when im sipping tea filled with honey and popping advils
that i do wish i had a job i could call in sick for
but being a wedding caterer really does not allow for human weakness of any kind
can you imagine
oh im sorry dears
i could not show up to cater your wedding because i had the flu
nope in 14 years ive never called in sick for an event i was catering
cause
well you cant
you drag yourself in when you are not even human
fill yourself with drugs
put plastic gloves on
let other people taste the sauces
and just do it
thats why
in the civilian part of my life
i go into full scale wimp mode
kinda evens it out
in my non catering life
i practically call an ambulance for a hang nail
whine like a valley girl on acid
for the least little ache or pain
but on the job
nope
its RAMBO ROSSI
ive finished a cooking shift with four fingers slit open
caterered weddings a week after a surgery that shoulda kept me in bed for a month
oh you name it
but in my next life
yes in my next life
i want to be a real Jewish American Princess
i want to sit in my big tacky house
with my big tacky furniture
and my millions of servants
and just conduct them all like a huge orchestra
yes
that will be
Molly of the mall
but for now
im a working wench
trying to make other peoples happy day
even happier
sigh
anyway
see ya
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