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Monday, May 31
Us and Them
so it's memorial day
which for many is a chance to run to the nearest beach or outdoors resort
or barbecue
but for moi
is a day to stay here in Manhattan while the "normal" folks are away..
i like to stick around during "get away" weekends and split when everyone's here
its all part of my "us and them" way of life
the "us and them" way of life is easy to fall into
get a job that employs you at night
and you may quickly become an "us"
get a job in which you have monday and tuesday off
but work friday and saturday..you're headed right into "us" land
stop washing your hair every day.."us"
wear black leather pants to brunch..."us"
don't go to college right after high-school
and either manage to learn more and rise higher
then the bulk of your high-school peers who went right into college
with no college education at all
or do as i did..wait 12 years and then put yourself thru
and get your BA at the grand old age of 32
or hey 52 if it suits you..
yep....that's an "US" way to educate
don't just agree with the pack because it's the republican thing to do
or the democrat thing to do
but agree or disagree as your heart dictates even if what you say out loud
does not jive with your chosen party, if you have a chosen party
you're a political "US" baby
pick your friends based on who makes your mind think
your heart feel
and your lips smile
not by how they dress, who they know, what they do for a living
or how good they look along your side
"you're hanging with the US's"
fall in love
and just let yourself fall
because it feels right
because you're mentally stimulated
because you're physically stimulated
because he/she makes you laugh
and it has nothing to do with the amount of
money, power, zero body fat, of wash board abs he/she has
yes then, my darling, you are making love in "US" land
i've always been an "US"
some of it was not of my chosing
(honeys if you saw the way our mom dressed us you woulda though we were white trash freaks from hill-billy country, not the kids of over-educated jews on the Jersey shore)
but much of it was of my own doing
like dieing my hair pink in high school
chosing to embrace punk rock in a part of jersey that only accepted hard rock and disco, then moving to NYC at 16 to join a sea of "US" folks who were marching to their own drum beats
it was I would say rather "US" like to skip cooking school
and intern with a whole bunch of old school male chefs
who hated women in the kitchen
then telling them to "suck my dick"
being an "US" has its draw backs
you never do feel like you really and truly fit into any group
that can be lonely late at night or between the hours of 9 and 5 on weekdays
you'll probably never truly understand things
like an IRA account
or pension fund
and honey's nobody will ever introduce you to their mother
without at least a few words of explanation
"no mom really..she's a huge success...seriously...she only dresses like a homeless person...honest..she owns her own home...yeah..its just the grunge thing you know.."
but if my life depended on it
i dont think i could ever be a "THEM"
and honeys that's not to say
you can't be an "US" if you're stuck in a 9 to 5 job
you gotta do what you gotta do
to be an "US" all you really have to do
is be yourself, be in your own skin,
follow your own rules
and dance to your own inner beat
once you do all that
you can't be a "THEM"
even if you want to
because "THEMS" march together
one long streak of yellow neck ties, throw over the shoulder
and perfect little cocktail dresses with matching clutch purses
no, no no
my dear
i am an "US"
here today on Memorial day
i stay in Manhattan
and will most likely sunbath
on a park bench
in Thompkins Square Park
listening to the waves
of pigeons, pit bulls and skateboarders
but that doesnt mean
no that certainly doesnt mean
that i would not have gone to the beach
if anyone had ^%$#@^&&* invited me!!!
damn it!
Friday, May 28
grateful
howdy darlins
i thought I'd take a little break, from war, terror, human rights, speaking out for the under-dog and bitching about assholes
to talk about my life
hang on
that is my life
oh hmm
well i guess there are a few things besides all that
first off
its official
yes it tis
i will be taking a share of a lil itty bitty place with a fabulous view
in Provincetown this summer
yeee haaa
yep
all i have to do is cater another 5 weddings
which means cook for about 1,000 people
and i get to sit my Jewish American Tuchas on the beach
for most of August
aaaahh something to look forward to
yes yes yes
ill tell you dears
i know i do spend a little too much time remembering
my rough early adult-hood
and feeling sorry for my little stupid troubles
but lately
ive been trying to remember
every day
thanks to my good pal
Melanie
HI MEL
how grateful i should be
every friggen day
so friggen thankful
that im alive
healthy
free
in control of my own life
not in bondage (well the bad kind anyway...)
not ruled by a fundamentalist regime that makes me cover up my head and face
whether I want to or not and kills or tortures me if i don't
not handicapped
not homeless
not poverty stricken
not married to donald rumsfeld (honey could you look at that face in bed?)
so yes
i say it
i mean it
i feel
it
im thankful
im grateful
there but for the grace of god
go i
i say that too
everytime a homeless person asks me for change
thank you
for letting me be whole and free
and strong
and i do promise
i promise
to remember never to not look down on others
(except for the olsen twins...im sorry i got to on principle)
but to know
that they are only myself
with a little less luck
in this world
this time around
hmmm
shit
i did it
the underdog
human rights
oppression
okay what the fuck
its part of my life
ok
so im talking about my life
so sue me
Tuesday, May 25
Canada?
okay
i guess i'm kinda starting to think of George Bush's let's do a major ass
PR clean up campaign on Iraq
the same way i'd been thinking of the "911" hearings here in NYC
a whole lotta snow
and no real meat
but really darlins
if you have some two, three or four cents to add here on either subject
id like to hear it
cause in both cases
i just didnt hear hard questions being answered
last night i had dinner with three Canadians
from Vancouver
and they were talking about the huge boom of Americans buying property in Vancouver and moving there
seems a whole lotta Americans are just getting the hell out of here
for a bigger, quieter, more peaceful existence
i dont know if thats a reflection on our
state of war
terrorism
the economy
or just that
Vancouver is so pretty
(unless you've been there for the oh 8 months of rain....AAAK)
but shit dears
i remember when Americans
or at least New York Americans
used to make fun of Canadians
feeling a bit wild AY...oh maybe you'll want to be really bad
and walk thru the don't walk sigh wooooo call the cops AY..
certainly here in NYC, kingdom of rawness and edge
we thought Canadians were pretty much the giants of WUSSY
but now
well folks are scared
and fed up
and stressed
and a lot of people
are talking about Canada
I don't know kids
i think id last about two months anywhere in Canada
except for maybe Montreal where they mix their French with some edge
but maybe thats cause they freeze their butts off half the year
but it does say something about the world today
and the attitude in this country
i think whether or not folks will vote for George Bush
even his biggest supporters are feeling
a bit concerned about how he's managed our place in this world
cause maybe america is the biggest and the strongest nation
but we just learned that it only takes 19 assholes
to end 3,000 lives and ruin 100 times that number...1,000 times?
who knows
do i want to take terrorism out of the world?
hell yes!
but give me someone with the smarts
and shmooze ability of Bill Clinton
who at least knew how to keep world wide allies
even if his pickle could't stay in his pocket
I dont want to live in a country hated by the world
I want to live in a country respected by the world
and a little dose of feared is okay too
anyway
thats what i got to say
Thursday, May 20
witch hunt
hey darlins
i'm on my way to read my work at a salon reading
of gay babes
in the East Village
and im excited & just a tad nervous
cause
yes
believe it or not i do get stage fright
actually im more concerned about the fact that ive been blowing my nose all damn day
from some
crazy allergy attack from hell
AAAK
and yes for those who recall
i am still on the homoepathic allergy routine
and it USUALLY works
but not today
when i need to stand up and read 5 pages without sneezing
took a pill
and now i feel like im on heroin
and everything is looking just a tad groovy
but then
this is the East Village
so ill fit right in
on other news
i am feeling a tad concerned at the moment
that george junya
will get his way
and make gay weddings illegal on the federal level
please tell me this country wont let that happen
please
i do so need to think a bit better about folks
outside of NYC
id like to think that him standing up there and trying to make same sex marriage illegal
would meet with horror and outrage
and not just amongst gay folks
come on America
you can't really think
in this day and age
that gay folks don't deserve the same rights as you do
lord help us if you do feel that way
cause
making gay marriage illegal today
can mean just about anything tomorrow
hell maybe
george junior will make
it illegal for Christians to marry Jews
unless the Jews convert
whats next here?
but ah
let me just take a moment
to remember that today
loving couples are getting hitched in Mass
and Ill worry about Dubya and his witch hunt
tomorrow
Monday, May 17
May 17th 2004, Provincetown Mass.
Can I just take a moment here to say congratulations to Massachusetts !!!!
On this great day, May 17, 2004 same sex couples are, as I write this, getting legally married in this brave state.
That is has happened in my beloved Provincetown makes me all the more proud.
I think today of the hundreds of couples on line at town hall, couples who come from rural areas where to hold their lover’s hand might mean the loss of their job, their safety, their family perhaps their very life.
Imagine for a moment how these people feel.
To say “I do” after a lifetime of hiding, or wishing, or praying.
In this little town that swells into a big town in the summer, my good pal in town counted representatives of 60 forms of major media.
There are cameras everywhere.
Interviewers everywhere.
The town that so few non-gay people outside of the north-east had heard of is now on the cover of newspapers all around the country, all around the world.
In a town, that cries either for the loss of our soldiers or for the fact that we are at war, or both, this is a bitter-sweet time for such a victory.
But I am reminded of the era of those brave women in the early part of the last century who were beaten, jailed, abused and almost stamped out for daring to fight for the right of women in this country to vote in the time of a world war.
They were told their fight for equality was in bad taste.
One must never criticize the president in a time of war and they responded, we are American, we love our country, we cry for our lost soldiers, but do not seek to keep us quiet, to silence our voices and our human rights in the name of supporting our president.
We ask instead for our president to stand behind us, as Americans as equal members of humanity.
And here today..I say in this time of terror, war, sadness and inhumanity against humanity..let us just celebrate this one little victory for human rights..let us just rejoice for the love that for this day
Dares to say its name quite loudly.
Saturday, May 15
We are all Jewish
I'm feeling freaked out today
I was just reading about how the Shiite Moslems chanted at the Americans
as they fought their stand off in their holy city "Jews! Jews!" As if all Americans are Jews and all Americans therefore deserve to die.
Here we are. It's the year 2004. I grew up thinking that atrocities like Hitler and the murder of six million Jews, like the Spanish Inquisition and the expulsion and or murder of hundreds of thousands of Jews, like the friggen Pharaoh back in Egypt and the slavery of the Hebrews..could not happen again.
But I don't feel that way anymore.
It's so strange to me that in this day and age, anyone could hate anyone else for being Jewish. This is a religion that encircles a group of people as different and diverse from each other as is the human race. Show me a Jew with a big nose, I'll show you ten with perfect little Gwyneth Paltrow noses. Show me a cheap Jew, I'll show you ten who are generous to a flaw, myself included. Show me a dis-honest Jew, I'll point you to entire communities based on pride, honor and goodness. Show me dark haired Sephardic Jew, I'll point to my grandfather, my mother and myself and our blonde hair and blue/green eyes. Show me a Jew how believes that Israel should not exist at this time and I'll point you to millions of Jews who will fight for its existence with their lives. Show me a Jew who believes in the oppression of all Palestinian people and I'll point you to millions who dedicate their lives to fighting for the human rights of all people.
It seems to me that to hate a Jew, to kill a Jew, because they are Jewish, makes as much sense as thinking millions of Catholics are all the same.
Can you walk out today and think that every Catholic you meet will be of the same species, same ideals, same thoughts as every other Catholic?
Of course not.
and....of course....even ....if by some freak of the universe...every Jew on this planet had the same dreams, the same beliefs, the same ethnicity, the same desires, the same needs....it would still be a crime against humanity to murder them to seek to destroy them in the name of what?
A holy war?
I'm so frightened...because I am watching a wave of anti-Semitism spread out across this world...and it's making me realize that the horrors of the bible, the near genocide by the Nazi's is not a slice of history but a warning of what can come again one day... if we are not careful..
Are you African American?
Are you Asian?
Are you Latin?
Are you a woman?
Are you gay?
Are you handicapped?
Are you Arabic?
If you are a minority in this country or any other country, you probably know what racism feels like, or sexism, or homophobia..
So stop the spread of Anti-Semitism... speak out when you hear a "dirty Jew" joke.. Speak out. Reach out. Call out. Don't be quiet.
Because the next time some group of people or peoples tries to create genocide you may very well be their target.
I am so sad today..for this world.
Recently I found an old letter written by my mother 10 years before she died.
My mother who lost family in the Holocaust.
She wrote, "Has mankind learned nothing?"
Wednesday, May 12
Love and Marriage in Provincetown Mass.
Let me tell you honeys the energy in P-town this past week was like a case of pre-wedding jitters only times like oh 100,000!
It was great really darlings, because the town’s commercial businesses have really been hurting these last few years..while big money folks hiked up the prices for rent in town and the year-rounders were pushed out to the dunes or to the next town over Truro which has now become almost as pricey as Ptown sorta like what Manhattan did to Brooklyn.
But I digress…
High rents…loud drunken yahoos aside..Provincetown has always been a town that marches to the beat of its own drum…or flute..whistle..
Hell they’ve even had a dancing traffic cop who does a spin and something I might call a shimmy when he tells cars to go.
So it’s fitting with its history of tolerance and a supremely high percentage of gay tourists and year-rounders, that P-town should become marriage central in this whole gay marriage thing.
Honey..everyone’s getting in on it.
Used to be when I strolled into town and told folks I was a wedding caterer..they looked at me like I said…oh you know I’m a rocket scientist..
This time around the answer is oh so is so and so and so and so and her and him and my dog…and yeah my cat plans weddings.
Art galleries are turning themselves into reception venues.
Jewelry stories are now wedding ring stores.
Restaurants are now wedding catering operations.
Forget it honey.
Wanna make a fortune…dress yourself up like Elvis and start a kitsch chapel in Ptown ..the boys will love ya!
Still money and mishegash aside..It’s great really that this strange little town on the tip of a long cape…has become a beacon for the nuptials that dare not say their name.
I was proud to hear that the board of selectman (who include babes by the way don’t let the name fool ya) voted unanimously in favor of issuing marriage licenses to out-of-state same-sex couples when gay marriage becomes legal in the state next week, putting them in direct conflict with super yahoo...Republican Gov. Mitt Romney.
Yeah…there’s a little bitty state law dating back to 1913…you know when dinosaurs ruled the earth, that says couples cannot be married in Massachusetts if their marriage would not be valid in the state they live in.
Now just to show you what a big pile of crap this whole racist, homophobic, anti-Semitic BLECH is. That particular law was meant to keep interracial couples from getting hitched when it was still illegal in their home states.
Nope…no whities and darkies getting hitched in Mass. If it wasn’t okay in redneckville.
So Romney who’s probably someone George Bush Junya would love, love, love, has dug up this ol law and is trying to slow down the gay marriage performed by town clerks across Massachusetts by forcing them to make the intended couples show proof that they live in the state.
But clerks in Ptown (YAY CLERKS) have been once again marching to their own drum and have stated they either will not ask for proof of residency or they’re gonna be rreallllllly loosey goosey about it.
Knowing Ptown as well as I do, the conversation might go something like this, “We wanna get married.”
“Do you live or are you planning on moving in state?”
“No.”
“Well do you like it here?”
“Love it.”
“Might you consider moving here one day?”
“Not sure.”
"But you're not...dead set against it?"
"No..."
“Good enough for us!”
Course Rotten Romney is already threatening to press charges against the clerks if they don’t listen to big brother. But honeys’ that kinda press would be fun, fun, fun to watch.
A whole group of clerks hauled off to jail for letting some lovebirds get married. Cover of Time here we come!
Anyway…this all should prove to be pretty damn interesting and I’m truly bummed that I will not be in Ptown the week of May 17th to watch it all unfold.
Ah the drama I shall miss.
Now then…do any babes out there wanna marry me in late May…I wanna be a part of this so bad!
Soooo badddddd!
Sunday, May 9
greetings from ptown
greetings from provincetown mass. on this very rainy mother's day
while im veging out in my pal liz's tree-house-esque apartment overlooking the bay
fyi..my good pal lizita has not only been showing me the inner core of provincetowns diverse art scene
but she has also been a spectacular cat therapist for my severely challenged, anxiety ridden 15 year old cat JD who recently got put on tranquilizers
honey...one week in camp lizita where not only has JD had a chance to walk on the beach for the first time in his life but he gets to smell the ocean air 24-7
and my bundle of black furry mishegash has been transformed
thanks doctor liz!
meanwhile
les you think i've been doing nada but walking on the beach and letting pretty women smile at me
(well yes actually that is all ive been doing..so sue me)
i would like to chat a bit about this horrific stuff regarding our treatment of the prisoners in Iraq
honey i havent been this embarrassed to be an American since
Nixon
shit
and man how guilty did Donald Rumsfeld look twitching and picking on his fingers while being questioned...hell yes...he should resign..im tired of looking at his nastry squinted up face anyway!
but as to the young 21 year old private whats her face.,..you know the queen of mean..please do you really think she's the culprit
i mean how many privates have you ever heard of who had the power to make
policy in an army prison?
hello
NONE
she's just a perfect patsy
same way jessica lynch was a perfect symbol
i wanna know who was giving the orders
taking the pictures
creating a prison that made zero power privates feel comfortable enough to pose
for horrific snap shots like those
now..yes...it is true that however terrible the treatment of these prisoners has been
its probably a HELL OF A LOT BETTER THEN AMERICANS WOULD HAVE GOTTEN
were they imprisoned by Iraq or for that matter just just about any fundamentalist ruled prison in the middle east
but the truth is thats still no excuse because AMERICA is supposed to be better then that
isn't that why we run around policing the world
to help (force) other countries to be as democratic, sophisticated and
kind hearted (hmm) as we are..
so far im having a helluvah lotta trouble trying to figure out just why iraq should be feeling so grateful to us right about now
i say...86 Rumsfeld
fire every jerk who let this scary crap happen
and while we're at it
maybe its time to dump the baby bush too
come on
are you still thinking this little ding dong should be our leader in chief
you cant really still be thinking that
sheesh
WAKE UP!!
and now back to my pursuit of
letting pretty women smile at me
im innocent i tell you
all i did was let them smile at me
nothing wrong with a smile
ive been framed
Sunday, May 2
up up and away
howdy folks
i'm feeling a tad cowgirlish today cause i spent much of yesterday at my goddaughter's cowgirl themed 7th birthday
honey let me tell you
there is nothing like the reality check of spending an afternoon and an evening with a large group of 7-year-olds
not only do i now wonder whether or not i have what it takes to ever be a mom
but i also wonder other things i never thought i'd wonder about
like exactly what happens if a straw is shoved too far up someone's nose
what do you tell a little girl who asks a question like "if you marry the air..would you have an air baby?"
yes dears
i came home quite happy to return to my childless apartment
with my two fat cats
but alas
this thing of children is in the back of my mind
and no not the giving birth part
(dears I have no desire to pass a water-melon thru this golf hole no-sir-ee)
but i do often fantasize about adopting..however hard that might be for a member of the queer race
can we have some decent equal rights already?! for crying out loud!
i am however smart enough to know that i can not to do this alone
if i do ever get around to adopting
not only do i have to know that i have a significant other who will stand by me and the kids for the long haul (and pay half the bills)
but i also need to know that i have the moolah for a babysitter at least two nights a week so moi and the significant can go out and blow off some steam
and
i need the moolah to have someone come in and clean up my vomited on
pooped on home at least twice a week
and lastly
of course
i need the moolah for a very VERY large home
that will have so much room
that the little terror can wreck havoc
and still leave mommy a nice little corner to call her own
i hope
so there
call me a Jewish American Princess if you like
but its my blog
and ill kvetch if i want to
kvetch if i want to
hmm gotta get that song outa my head
anyway
while i am child-less and footloose and fancy free etc
i am (tomorrow morning) running away
to Provincetown
yes P-town
home of queers
old straight people
and lots of whale watchers
i know P-town ain't what it used to be
the artists and writers have run away
the big money folks have rolled in
but im renting a cheap little motel room on the beach
and i intend to write..swim...lie in the sun(yes ill wear my %$#%^& sunscreen now leave me alone!)
and promenade up and down commercial street letting all of Ptown know just how sexy i can be
i'm too sexy for this town
too sexy for this town
anyway
if i can get to a computer while im away
i shall fill you in on my exploits
if not
ill be back in a week
think of me
and when you do
be kind (sorry been watching too many old movies lately)
xxx
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