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Friday, April 30
Iraq Smack
okay sorry to all your right ringers
but i gotta say it
the shit in Iraq is feeling like such a deja vus of Vietnam its scary
the deja vus part for me is that here we are a year after the war is supposedly over and our boys and gals are still getting blown up over there
the country is getting torn apart
the people are not loving us
hell even the anti saddam folks are trying to kill us now
its just a big bloody pile of crap
you know any war is horrible
i just went to see "The Third Man" with Orson Welles
a gorgeous snazzed up copy of one of the greatest films ever made
and a film I'd never seen on the big screen
(actually never saw it on TV either...)
and what really got me was the real star of the film
The back drop of war torn Vienna just after WW2..
The city was so beautiful and so scarred with blown up buildings, burnt holes,
burnt people all around like a giant open wound..It reminded me that even in a war that we absolutely had to fight..lord knows we had to take down Hitler..there would be innocent lives taken...occupied cities further hurt...
i once was told a piece of wisdom to remember
you may have heard it
"when it comes to love and war..there are no right decisions"
and i guess this is true
yes..we had to get rid of Saddam Hussein..he was a murderer, a dictator, a tyrant..but did we handle this the right way?
is all this infighting and terror and destruction we see now in Iraq a huge improvement over how their lives had been?
I wish our president had not tried to shnooker the U.N., had not lied about weapons of mass destruction and had just taken us to war for the right reason..
to remove a tyrant..
but then he would have had to explain why other tyrants and other terrorist supporting nations like say ohh saudi arabia not only go un-challenged by us..but make a huge pile of cash from us...
So what's the answer now?
Pull out and leave the country to turn into another Aphganistan..ruled by a fundamentalist Moslem group that will terrorize women, perhaps stone them for exposing their face or burn them for wearing lipstick...and anyone else who doesnt conform to their standards..
Do we stay until we know that some sort of democracy is there and then try to help that democracy take shape...but meanwhile..risk having every inch of Iraq blown to smithereens by the groups who want us out already?
Sadly...there doesn't seem to be any right answer now...
and all the efforts now to make things better seem to fall on deaf ears..
No..I don't think this was well handled at all...
The next time I travel over seas...I think I'll tell everyone I'm a Canadian.
Wednesday, April 28
Blondie Lives!!!
holy macaroni
i am in a big ass time warp today honeys
not only is my ol pal "wolf" (yes dears that is his name and he looks like one too)
from my early teen years in GASP the jersey shore
coming over
but i am also listening to NEW BLONDIE for the first time since damn
i guess the early 80's right..or was it late 70's
anyway
its freaking me out
cause the sensation of hearing a Deborah Harry vocal
that i never heard before
was last felt by this mama
when i had pink hair and dressed..well...rather badly
anyway
its a great time warp
and lordy did i love me some Blondie in my bag girl teen years
yes those were the days
freaking out the uptight, super straight, anti-semitic, racist..jersey-ites in my home town...who all wore the same uniform- aligator shirt-matching levi's chords, and bass shoes..
YECH
anyway
for this day
this crisp
sunny but cooool afternoon
i am once again 16...slightly stoned..and telling the whole wide world
to Kiss my Jewish American Ass...!!!!
heheheheheheheheheheheheh
Sunday, April 25
Thank You!
To the hundreds of thousands of women (and men too) who marched in the "March for Women's Lives" in Washington today to fight for the right for women to choose..I say THANKEE SISTERS AND BROTHERS!!
and ummm i'm so sorry I didn't go
but I catered two weddings yesterday and couldn't drag my ass out of bed before 9:45...but thank you damn it...thank you!
And to Francis Kissling of Catholics for a Free Choice who declared, ''You will hear our pro-choice voices ringing in your ears until such time that you permit all women to make our own reproductive choices.'' I say shit honey..you're gonna be the first Catholic spokesperson I've liked in a long time.. THANK YOU!
Women from all over the U.S. and many many countries worldwide joined in today to protest the baby Bush's steady and merciless erotion on our rights to govern our own bodies..
and I say one more time
Thank you so much for going out today
for marching
for spending your hard earned dollars on buses and cars and trains and planes
and hotels and motels to stand tall
to stand proud
and to march for the freedom of women
thank you
thank you
by the way
vote for me
Saucy Rossi
in 2004
and I promise to drag my lazy ass out of bed next time
Saturday, April 24
Rossi 2004
Okay after a little prodding
(didn't take much honey)
see comments section from previous post !
(thanks dee gee)
***
I have decided to run for office in 2004!
Yep
Rossi for president of the United States
Why you ask?
Because I was born to beat the bush!
Hmmm that didn't sound quite right..
okay let me try another tactic
I am scared shitless that this country is being ruined by an egocentric little rich boy
who has some freaky sense of doing the mission of right wing Christians while in office..and doesn't think women have the right to choose
gays have the right to marry
americans who have opinions contrary to his own have the right to voice them without being treated as traitors
and also doesn't seem to think that anyone in the friggen universe has the right to demand the truth from him
plus i hate the way he looks, sorta like a chimp on mescaline
"oooo ooooo banana!!! ooo ooo weapons of mass destruction!"
now as one of my more masculine readers and supporters asked
wink
that'd be Mike FYI
here is my platform
**
If you elect me I promise
to fight for the rights of all women to have authority over their own bodies
but also to prevent them from having to be in the terrible position of
deciding whether or not to have an abortion
by beefing up sex education in our schools
and making sure that everyone, no matter how young or old.. has access to FREE and ample..contraceptive devices
one of which will be a naked photo of Janet Reno
If you elect me
I promise to never let religion get in the way of politics..
(except of course for Satanism which we all know is an important element of the U.N.)
If you elect me
I promise to make sure that every gay person in this country crazy enough to wanna get married
can get married
If you elect me
I promise
to make sure you never have to see Donald Rumsfeld's ugly mug on TV again
YECH!
If you elect me I promise to make Blogging and the personal web site world
a respected part of running the government
How you ask?
Simply by running polls in OUR universe
and then actually listening to what the REAL
folks want and think...
not what the government wants us to think that most Americans want
If you elect me I promise to kidnap every terrorist moslem fundamentalist leader, have the official sex change police perform a sex change operation on them and then return them to their
community to face life as a woman in a fundamentalist moslem world..
If you elect me
I promise
to be the first woman president!
hey that one was easy!!
but what comes with it is this
As a babe
I promise to get us out of a whole lot more jams without having to go to war
because instead of getting into Alpha male confrontations with other world leaders
i'll talk to them, play some soft music and make my famous.. 12 hour brisket..with a nice cabernet..
I''ll flirt mercilously with them
and then make them think they have a chance
and then never put out
because they're married
but pretend to have my heart broken
so they'll feel guilty
and do anything to make me feel better
HEHEHEHEHEHEHE
(sorry ladies but i had to divulge the secret weapon)
lastly
If you elect me
I promise to just tell you truth
and trust that you would prefer that to a pack of lies
no matter how painful the truth is
tooodles
Oh my slogan
"Saucy Rossi in 2004"
Spice things up!!!
FYI
I need a running mate
any ideas?
Wednesday, April 21
Religion
i have come to the conclusion
that religion is a scary ass mother-fucker
yes my dears
let me say again..in my most eloquent
french
religion c'est un scary ass mother-fucker!!!!!!!!!
just look at the world at the moment dearies
we've got Dubya in office..mr. born-again-Christian
who truly thinks it's his mission from god..to prevent women
from having abortions and gays from getting married!!
Mr. Jesus-loves-me-Bush-Junior..also feels "the allmighty" is leading the way for America to take its rightful place as ruler of the universe...or well....ruler of anyone who doesn't kiss our ass a lot like the British...for instance..
Hmmm shades of the Spaniards a few centuries back hmmm Mr. Bush..
Then ..we've got the Palestinian fundamentalists...like Hamas..who feel its their mission from god..to go way past fighting for the rights of the Palestinian people
no dears...way past that..and throw themselves into a Jihad..holy war..that will not stop until Israel is under Moslem control and every Jew is floating face down in the dead sea..
Then we've got all the other Islamic terrorist groups and their no longer moderate followers..who pretty much think its just fine to blow yourself up
as long as you take out some Americans, some Israelis...some American or Israeli sympathizers..and hey while you're at it...anyone who doesn't think that Allah is what its all about baby..
hey can i just take a reality check for one second
yooo hooooo
islamic terrorists...just want to give you a heads up here
do you really think spending eternity with 72 virgins is a good thing??
honey..they'd all dump your sorry ass in a heart beat and then you'd be spending eternity paying off the alimony for 72 pissed off ex wives!!
and while we're at it..do the female suicide bombers get 72 virgins too??
and if so are they women or men??
just wondering
now..just so you don't think my fear of religion is reserved for baby bushes
and moslem pricks
we've got our own brothers and sisters right here in the U.S. of A
yep
weve got the right wingers
who think well you know its okay to blow up abortion clinics and murder everyone who works there cause it'll slow down the 15 year old rape victims from killing their un-born kids
then we've got shit..like half of this ^%#&** country who think it's our GOD given right to carry arms and we should damn well be god-like and use them
especially if anyone with skin a few shades darker then our own comes around
woooo scary....Hey Charleton Heston...go back to the Planet of the Apes where you belong...A-Hole~!
then tooo
on the religion ..field we have my own people
yes my people
the jews
but in this case
im referring to the most fanatical of the chasidim
folks like the Szatmars
who are also from the country of my blood
Hungary
and may very well be related to me
sorry but family doesn't excuse ass-holism
see folks like these chasids
even hate other chasids
for daring to support israel
cause according to the bible
we're not supposed to have israel until the messiah comes
well so i have this to say..."Ohhh umm Szatmars...if you're so anti-israel
then why are you living in Israel? collecting welfare?enjoying the fruits of the hard labor of the rest of Israel?but refusing to fight in the army
or contribute in any way?!?!?"
i say screw you!!
you wanna knock israel
then get the fuck out
besides
i firmly believe the messiah
has come
in the form of barbara streisand
and you're just too sexist to see it
lastly
in my religion is a scary ass motherfucker
i leave you with this
i am a jew
and i do believe in god
and i do believe there is some, perhaps very small
core of truth in the bible
and i do believe that how we live our life now
dictates in some way what happens to us later
but i also believe
that i have NO right to inforce my beliefs onto any one else
or make them suffer for my beliefs
or make them die for my beliefs
or make them feel assaulted in any way
because of what I CHOOSE to believe
and i would kindly ask that THEY
give me the same respect..
thank you
Saturday, April 17
Melissa Etheridge
well darlings
i don't want to sound like TOO much of a lesbian stereotype
but i just went to the most ass-kicking Melissa Etheridge concert..
Man..that babe can rock!
You know I'm not a Bruce Springsteen fan, but I am a Bruce Springsteen in concert fan...cause one thing you can say about the Boss is that he works hard for his money.. but babies even the boss had to take a break or two, let his back up gals sing..have an intermission
Not Miss thing..
na uhh honey she got on stage and belted for 3 friggen hours
actually wedged 30 feet from the stage in the mostly standing
venue..of The Roseland Ballroom
I was kinda preying Miss Melissa would take a break so i could
but even when her band took a well needed break she stayed out on the stage
and cranked our her slow tunes with a harmonica and a piano
but damn that woman has chutzpah
and Rosie Odonnell was up in the balcony sitting next to Mrs. Melissa Etheridge
and everytime Melissa belted another love song,we all crained our heads up to look at the little Miss
but Little Miss..what the hell is her name..the chick from that show Popular
was too busy kissing Rosie's ass to pay attention..
Hey Missy...if you're gonna land the numero uno dyke in the country
you best stay glued to the stage when she's singing
okay?
thank you
anyway
it was a blast
i went with my rocker gal crew
of C, K and J
who collectively embodied
Latin mama, warm letherette and Janis Joplin's good looking sister
and me of course
in black with lots of hooter
so yeah
we were hot
surrounded by mostly dykes
from shall we say suburban areas that teach
wearing baseball hats, baggy jeans and white sneakers is you know cool
but hey
all were welcome
anyway
it was blast man
but let me tell you
today
my feet are killing me
shit
i can not rock the night away like i used to
but what the heck
i can still shake it
a whole lot better than the baseball babes
Wednesday, April 14
"911 Prayer"
you know i've been thinking a lot about september 11th these last few days
and no
not about who to blame
and how much to blame them
but about how it felt
to me
to be in downtown Manhattan that terrible morning
if you've read any of my "911" stuff
then i don't have to go into the whole sordid thing
the sight
the smell
the terrible terror
and horror
and hell
most of you
felt it too
but what i've been thinking about these last few days
is how september 11th lives in my world now
today
it has become so much a part of my fabric
my very being
that i now, rarely note the difference between what part of me and my life is altered from this terrible day
and what part is not
i know before '911' i hated going under ground, into the Holland Tunnel
or the Lincoln Tunnel
but that was because of the smell, the fumes..the claustrophic feeling
now i hate going in the tunnels because i always get the same image
of the tunnel blowing up
and millions of gallons of water crushing me
i take the bridge
the traffic is often heavier
but this way i get to die on top
not on the bottom
and plus hey i don't have to pay the toll
i can not go to my fave place in the warm weather
without instinctively looking towards where the world trade center had always been
trying to trace the empty space in the sky
and remembering how they looked like smoldering cigarettes
remembering how they fell like decks of silver cards
i can not go to the wall street area without trying to recall what the towers used to look like from each vantage point as i pass
i can not see a fireman, a firetruck or a firehouse without thinking of '911' and the heroes who died
without thinking about the men with the bloody hands and vacant eyes
who i fed in those early days of september 2001
when a firecracker goes off
when one too many sirens go by
when the lights flicker in a storm
when the news says, stay tuned for a special report
i always freeze for a moment and wonder
is this the day?
is it happening again?
i came to new york in 1981
and moved to one of its worst brooklyn neighborhoods
high crime nyc was my introduction to adulthood
i have emotional scars from those days
i am defensive to the core
i never
ever
like to have anyone walking behind me
i am what you might call
a "seasoned new yorker"
but now i am something else
i am a "pre 911" new yorker
a person who remembers the towers as being a part of my every day life
who took for granted that they would always be there
a person who remembers what it was like to worry as you approached the midtown tunnel, but that was only worry about how heavy the traffic might be..
so yes
im changed
forever i guess
as many of you are too
i don't know who in American politics is to blame for "911"
or how much to blame them..
and i guess...that's not quite the place i want to put my energy
i feel its better served worrying about making sure this never
happens again
and that the lessons of brotherhood/sisterhood
heroism
bravery
selflessness that rose up in this great city
and this great country
in the fall of 2001
is never forgotten
join with me will you?
say a prayer for all of us
that we don't get so caught up in power struggles
and political bullshit
that we forget what's really important
being happy,
being kind,
being peaceful,
being decent to each other..
Tuesday, April 13
things i like about bush
just food for thought here
but
remember when the word
"bush"
used to mean a good thing..
push
push
in the bush
damn it
thats the thing i hate most about the baby bush
he took away a great word from my vocabulary
I want my bush back!
damn it..
sigh
anyway
a few of my shall we say
more restrained peers
have accused me
however gently
of being so anti bush
(the bad kind not the good kind)
that i don't actually allow myself to see
and acknowledge any good that bush has done
so im dedicating this column to
things I LIKE about bush
i like that bush is
often hairy
sometimes smells like musk
occasionally tastes like chicken
kinda squishy
and rarely talks back in any way a human can make sense of
there hows that??
Sunday, April 11
scary show
well once again
i've seen in motion what i've been saying all along
everytime &^%$#*#$% time I say anything against george bush
in this web site
i get a rude, mindless, insulting comment from some right wing nut job
listen
lemme just give a quick message out there to you'all right wing, bush ass kissing nut jobs..this is not the way to get your point across
you just come off as ignorant
jerks
and make folks thing hmmm
well if ignorant idiots love bush
then maybe i should check out the other story
as to all the wonderful folks
who sometimes don't agree with me
and share amazing, intelligent, thought out reasons why
in the comments section
thanks so much
i don't always agree with you either
but i always appreciate you
and i often learn from you
now about the damaging document that has emerged proving that the baby bush did, himself, and not an aid, read all about the warnings of a possible
"911"
i have this to say..
i personally don't like bush
as we all know
i think he's a liar
with his own very personal agenda
who is most likely really the vice president
while dick cheney is secretly running things
mr. I invest in terrorist supporting corporations
cheney
so yeah
i dont have to go on about my feelings about bush
and cheney
if you read the site
you know
but i do have to say
i don't know if we will ever really know
how much of "911" the baby bush could have prevented
and how much not....no matter how damaging the case against him
might seem..
my major interest in hearing about the "911"inquiries now..
is that hopefully..please lord... it will keep this guy from getting re-elected..
if not...i think the real show is yet to come
and hoooo boyyyyy....that's a show i don't want to see
Friday, April 9
Rice Rap
Okay...I gotta say right now...I was far too busy between Passover, my 19 year old nephew staying with me and a mass of rather high maintenance clients to catch the Condoleezza Rice testimonial..
I did of course read up on it afterwards..and I do have my own thoughts on the subject..
For the record..saying to a crowd including the families of people killed on "911" that you didn't do anything about the "911" threats.. because you were tired of swatting flies...probably wasn't the best way to go..
and there is the little matter of a brand new presidency being tired of anything
is a rather odd thing to say...
I also would like to take note of the fact that before "911" the baby Bush was nothing more then a stealer of elections..the leader of a country who mostly voted against him..and well..... a putz. After "911" he became a popular war time leader who has leashed the fear of this country and used it to fuel his own agenda..
Do I think he knew about a possible threat of "911" before it happened?
Well thats seems to be rather clearly YES doesn't it?
Just like its seems to be rather clearly YES...that he knew there were no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq.
Do I think he purposely ignored the threat of "911" because he wanted it to happen?
That I can not say yes too because that would mean the the baby Bush could go hang out with folks like Saddam in the evil scale..
I prefer to think of him as a stupid, egocentric rotten guy...with his own agenda..and not an evil guy.
But like I said..I missed the Rice rap...so could some of you fill me in on your thoughts about what she said
and what you think..
I await your comments..
toodles
Tuesday, April 6
passover
Well its Passover
and I, being devoutly masochistic have decided to prepare a seder for 9 folks in my apartment
honeys let me tell you after getting used to cooking in a 2,500 square foot commercial kitchen for 200 people at a time, cooking in my 100 foot kitchen in my one bedroom apartment for 9 people feels madly claustrophobic
so i dont think youll hold it against me
if i admit to you that i bought the potato pancakes and matzoh balls from the 2nd Avenue Deli..HEY THEY'RE KOSHER!
but i did make the 6 hour long brisket..(honey i make a mean brisket)
and i did make the seder plate
and i am making the tzimmes (sweet carrots)
and the salad and dressing
and hmm the broccoli
so sue me
anyway
ive invited over my sister who wont show up because she never does
my nephew..the gorgeous one in the family
my goddaughter
my best gal pal and her hubby
my new boy toy miha
my adopted sista margot
and la c
should be a grand little exodus from egypt
i feel a bit different about this passover
maybe a bit more into the symbolism of it then before
the freedom from slavery
the moment to offer thanks and blessings
the chance to share..an ancient symbolic meal that resonates with Christians (the last supper) and Jews alike
the world seems so war torn
so scary
so filled with chains and shackles
that taking a night to share songs, food, wine and blessings
seems right
in any language
in any religion
so i'll break a piece of matzoh for you
and dip it in the charoseth and the maror
and drink the fourth cup
and then
eat
a lot
happy P-Day
Friday, April 2
pigeon love
just wanted to give you all an update on some things
the lovely pigeon mama and papa
who lost their eggs
are back
they did some sorta of romantic pigeon canoodling
6 INCHES FROM MY DESK
honey i was waiting to see them having some little pigeon cigarettes
anyway
now they have two eggies
and its so cute
they take turns sitting on the nest
the mama (i think it was mom?)
sat firm thru three days of rain
and its just so friggen cute i could plotz
now heres the problemo
we are in the middle of having the entire rear facade of our building
redone
fire escapes scraped
brick repointed
the whole shebang
they started before the rain
and it was so sad
mama had to fly away and just keep coming
back and back
hoping for the men to leave
i laid a garbage bag and a cloth over her eggs
to protect them from the flying debree
and thankfully
when the work men left
she and hubby came back
but when the rain stops
the real work begins
does anyway have a suggestion here
if i cover the eggs all day while they work
will mama keep coming back?
if i move her nest somewhere safe
will she ever go to it
if i ask the workmen
to work around my fire escape and leave my part for last
how long will this eggs to babies
babies to flight thing take?
and will the contractor
have me killed?
aaak
my entire life
i never gave a hoot about pigeons
"SKY RATS"
as we nyers call them
but now
im
full
on
obsessed
help
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