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Wednesday, March 31

New York's Moynihan

I went to the opening reception for the exhibition, “New York’s Moynihan” at the Museum for the City of New York.

I felt honored to be invited by members of Daniel Patrick Moynihan’s family to go to the reception but not nearly as honored as I’ve felt to have had the privilege to meet this great man on several occasions and to get to know aspects of his life intimately thru the eyes of his children.

The crowd at the reception was just as I would have expected, chock full of older political types, an upper crust of the type of New Yorkers most politicians court for their ample campaign donations, a mish mosh of New York administration folks, but mostly, I did have the sense, mostly, folks who really liked or even loved Pat Moynihan.

That’s the thing about Pat, people really adored him. They might not have agreed with everything he stood for politically, or perhaps they did, but they always adored him. Why? Well peeking at the absurd rain hat and bow tie on display that he perpetually wore, one might say because he was a true character, an independent thinker who marched to his own drum. Personally, I think, it was because no matter what he said, you always felt he was telling the truth.

How rare is that in politics?

The big press moment of the night came when Senator Chuck Schumer and NYC Mayor Bloomberg arrived. Both men stood about a foot from me while they posed for the cameras.

Honey’s it took every ounce of strength I had not to shove my face in Bloomberg’s and say, “HEY BLOOMIE WHY ARE YOU RUINING NEW YORK CITY?”

Followed by a hearty..."By the way, can I bum a smoke from you!"

But I didn’t mostly because I didn’t want to cast on a shadow on a long over-due tribute to a truly great man….and well also, I didn’t want to get arrested.

Of course, having nothing to do with my personal relationship to the Moynihan clan I will always appreciate the man who stood up in the United Nations and protested the horrific resolution that equated Zionism to racism by stating, “The United States declares that it does not acknowledge, it will not abide by, it will never acquiesce in this infamous act.’

16 years later the abomination of this act was revoked.

As a lover of old buildings and slices of visual history that are so often destroyed to make room for big business, new apartment buildings, high glass office buildings and the like, I will always feel eternally grateful for Moynihan's work saving so many slices of old New York and old Washington for that matter. He was tireless in his work to save the magnificence of yesterday. Recently I went to visit the American Indian Museum on Bowling Green in NYC. The museum is housed in the old U.S. Custom House, an amazing building, a true slice of original New York City industry that stands proudly today largely because of this man.

Indeed Moynihan was so tireless and successful in his pursuits to save old New York that the new Penn Station to be housed in the old Farley Building, another slice of great old New York, will be named in his honor.

Going to the reception with members of the family of Mr. Moynihan who have become my family over the past many, many years and one new family member who has become the closest thing I have to a daughter, made me feel like I was somehow related to him as well. I didn’t have anything to say to the hordes of higher end silver-haired people nibbling at caviar on hard-boiled eggs or smoked salmon canapés, but I did feel as I strolled past them, that I had just as much right to be there as they did.

If you’re a New Yorker, or you find yourself in NYC sometime between now and September, please trudge up on uptown, WAY UPTOWN to 104th and 5th Ave. and check out New York’s Moynihan at the Museum of the City of New York. I promise the ride up is worth it, even if you do have you get your passport stamped at 100th Street.

Daniel Patrick Moynihan, who lived in Hell’s Kitchen, shined shoes on the streets of NYC as a boy, went to school in East Harlem and ultimately became the most listened too, most remembered, most enduring Senator that anyone I know can recall, who became the man now regarded as the greatest political intellectual since Abraham Lincoln, is a slice of New York. He is part of the rich under-layer of New York. He pulses in the veins of New York adding flavor and texture. He is Checker Cabs and Coney Island Hot Dogs, carriage rides thru Central Park and coffee houses on Macdougal Steet. He is New York’s Moynihan.

Sunday, March 28

Open Up!

okay im gonna share a little web world woe
that i know michele from small victory can relate to

when i started writing this site
it really was about everything i was seeing, feeling experiencing
as a downtown new yorker in "911", as ground zero volunteer, as a witness and mostly
as a human being gravitating thru something far too large for me to digest..
This is something i know many of you, perhaps most of you, also felt
and perhaps are still feeling..

Because both sides of the partisan scale cared so deeply about the horror of "911" ( or at least had the smarts to pretend to) it didn't seem to matter much whether or not I was democrat or republican
and it didn't seem to matter very much whether or not my readers were either

When i started sharing my horror over the atrocities done to Israel
by suicide bombers
my anger at the flaring anti-semitism
my concern over whether or not the real Palestinian agenda
was to see, as Arafat, once publicly declared, "every jew floating face down in the dead sea," i aquired a lot of right wing, republican readers..

Being a liberal, democrat i was surprised at my new fans, but also thrilled, reaching out to people who would so strongly dis-agree with me at a wide variety of subjects.. is almost a bigger compliment then touching those who are with me..

I'd never made a secret of the fact that I was horrified of how George Bush won (stole) office, but it wasn't until his ridiculous handling of our international affairs, his attack on our civil liberties and his crusades against a woman's right to choose
and a gay person's right to marry.. that i really let loose with my feelings against him
and voila!
like magic!
my right wing readers vanished
except, of course, for the occasional commentary by some person
too cowardly to leave a name or email address
who will right something rude and insulting

classy folks very classy

so here's the thing
i don't agree with everything democrats have to say
i don't agree with everything liberals of any kind have to say
and i do agree with some things republicans
and right wingers have to say
and i do think that there is at least a small slice of truth hanging from everyone's tree

for example....
i adore michele at small victory for her pride, her honesty, her
ability to rise above what her readers want her to say
and just say whatever the hell she feels
and honey
trust me
i don't agree with michele A LOT
and michele has been an early supporter of mine from day one
(thanks sista!)

so why can't it work in reverse?
why is it that this post "911" breed of right wing republicans have to be so close minded?
why be so afraid to listen to an opinion other than your own?
to be so angry
so defensive
so close-minded
either means you don't feel confident about the walk you're walking
or you don't believe in freedom to voice any opinion other than your own
which means you don't want a democracy
you want a dictatorship

listen
this partisan stuff
can really erase the chance to see clearly what is happening in front of us

if you want to blindly follow george bush
because you feel we are at war and all must blindly follow the leader
then at least be honest about what you're doing

say it out loud

i don't want to see, hear or feel anything that inhibits my ability to blindly follow
our leader and chief!

if that is not the case
then open up for crying out loud
you might find some truth
coming from the mouths
or the sites
of people
you feel you have nothing in common with

i do all the time
all the time

Wednesday, March 24

The Passion of Christ

Okay
okay
so not one to rant and rave about things i can not say i really understand
before joining in on the mel gibson is a major anti-semite bandwagon
i went to see The Passion of Christ

now, stop.. don't try and kick me out of the Jewish race for crying out loud
i went as a hostile okay?

anyway
i brought along La C who is quite the religious historian...especially for anything to do with Jesus...

she said the movie was historically accurate..
the jews wanted him killed
asked the romans to kill him
and the romans killed him

i dont know darlings
i really do think the bible..was written by a whole bunch of men
with a lot of their own agenda on their minds
i mean shit
if you had a few babes writing the old and new testament
then im sure there would have been at least a few stories of heroic women
in those thousands of years
not
women who only wind up in the bible by either giving birth to a prophet
sleeping with a king
or eating an evil apple
but i digress
without being a historical scholar
and without having trapsed around the universe back in the days of christ
im just gonna go for a moment along with La c and say that okay
lets say its all accurate..

heres the problem
Christians have been using the story of jews murdering jesus for countless generations as an excuse to murder, terrorize and opress jews..
course when that excuse ran a little dry they started with the
jews started the black plague
and jews eat christian babies stuff
but basically the jews killing jesus thang
worked quite well to fuel tons of anti-semitism

so heres the thing
as La C pointed out the jews in question here were the highest rung
priests
the smallest minority of jews
and even in the ^%#&&** movie
you saw the common man jew
the working class jew
the main stream jew
the majority jew
either helping jesus
or at least feeling pretty bad about what was happening to him

now what we surely know is that the romans tortured him and killed him
so why havent we seen a thousand years of oppression against the roman
descendants
which i guess would be the italians
why aren't christians taking to the streets to opress italians?
since their ancestors killed jesus
hmm
well first of all because italy is like catholic central
and second of all
because thats how it is
pick a race
pick a religion
they do it
it gets lost
the jews do it
its remembered forever

now meanwhile
while we are on the subject
the issue i do have with mel gibson is that he's a homophobic little bugger
la c pointed this out too

why make satan
a feminine queerish man?
hmm why do it mel?
why not make him a mad max type like you?
or just a dude with horns??
why the queer satan?
not the first time
mel has shoved a little homophobia into his flicks

anyway
i dont really know how to feel about the passion of christ
except it was WAY GROSS
YECH
if i had to look at another image of flesh being torn open
i woulda retched my popcorn

anyway
the lesson here is
simple
you want to hate jews because of what a small minority of them
might MIGHT have done a kazillion years ago?
fine
then hate Italians too...
and while you're at it
hate any variation of Roman descendant
so throw in Sicilians and Spaniards

hey you might as well hate everyone who eats pizza too
or spaghetti

kill the spaghetti eaters!

Monday, March 22

Goodbye You Rat Bastard


So the Palestinian Ben Laden, Hamas founder Ahmed Yassin has been assasinated today by an Israeli missile strike..

Excuse me while i DON"T shed a tear..

Hmmmm let's see how many hundreds of men, women and children of his own people did he send out to blow themselves up?

How many hundreds of men, women and children did his suicide bombers murder?

Of course, the Hamas loving Palestinians are crying outrage, because the old bearded man was such a sweet-heart, a real santa claus...cause you know he murdered all these people in, like, a holy way... you know...

Only the Hamas loving Palestinians, here-after known as the HLPs..to differenciate between the peace loving Palestinians (who are they anyway?)...are now so pissed off, that they're getting a lot more honest..

How so..oh simply that they are saying out loud what we've known all long...that they want revenge on America too. Yep gone are the days of pretending to be sorta non-violent when it comes to the U.S.

Spoken like a true terrorist.

Yassin of course is the big prize for Sharon, the most prominent Palestinian leader killed by Israel in more than three years of fighting.

Sadly his killing has sparked a major call for revenge as tens of thousands of Palestinians poured out onto the streets.

So let me just take a moment to clue you into a major difference between Israel and Hamas and all the other fundamentalist Palestians.

When Yassin was killed, he had LEFT the mosque.

The big difference...well honey's its obvious isnt' it. The HLP's woulda blown up a synagogue gladly and considered all the women, children and babies to be...bonus points on their martyr ride to heaven.

"Let me have 85 virgins instead of 72 cause I killed some Jewish babies too!"

So no, dear readers... I will not be crying for Yassin, just as surely as if there is higher power up there, however you choose to believe or not believe in him or her...this higher power will not be welcoming in Yassin to any kind of heaven..

I think I'm going to choose to believe in the reincarnation aspect and say that Yassin will come back in whatever
being best teaches him the error of his ways...

Which would mean that he will shortly be born, as a female destined to grow up as a woman filled with enormous intelligence, pride, passion, power, talent, a strong need for independance and a an overwhelming love of all of humanity and be doomed to spend her life as the daughter of a Moslem fundamentalist terrorist leader. ..

Somewhere in her late teens she will be given a choice...become a martyr or be stoned to death by your own people..for having the audacity to expose your head in public, for having the audacity to seem to be walking to closely with a man other than her husband, for having the audacity to say out loud that she wants peace. Then the lady Yassin will know the full meaning of hell on earth.

Thursday, March 18

Barbra Streisand for President

I have ALWAYS loved Barbra Streisand..

Honey's say what you will...the nails....the occasional tackiness...the perhaps a little too old when she played Yentil...
Oh say it all and then shove it!!
The babe is just awesome!!!

As a kid..i think i was in the 6th grade when i actually almost got into a fist fight
when some of the kids in my class said Olivia Newton John was the best singer in the world
and i screamed "Hell no! It's Barbara!'
The 6th graders were kinda like who is Barbara?!...the peasants!!
obviously not of the superior background of moi thank you

Then in the 8th grade for music class we did lip synch videos...
Everyone else did Kiss...or some other 70's rock band
No honeys...I did Barbara full on babs with the horrific afro she sported in her
"Star is Born" era and all..and I sang..."Happy Days are here again...the skys above are clear again.."
So what if i wasn't hip...I was fabulous!

So now babs is what 60? 58?
Does anyone know?
and she's not doing concerts anymore..(until the next big pay check offer hmmm)
but she is coming back to the movies after an 8 year break
wooo hooooo
playing ben stillers mom...i heard...
but i digress
my point is
i just had a mass forward sent on to me
from a groovy women power on line newsletter
and it was the entire speech the goddess streisand
made when accepting her
"Human Rights Campaign Humitarian Award'
a little while back on March 6th..

Lordy...the babe knocked me out
so if you don't mind
I tried to just excerpt my fave parts
but there really wasn't a single thing i could bear to cut out
so im just gonna re-print the whole damn speech
cause im special..and i want to

and if you don't like barbra
or you just loveeee lovvvvveee lovvvvveeee president bush
do me a favor
clear your mind for a minute here
and just read
okay
thanks

happy days are here again
the skys
above

oh you prefer this one
"People.... just ordinary people..."

**

Posted on March 8, 2004

THE STRUGGLE FOR EQUAL RIGHTS CONTINUES

Remarks by Barbra Streisand upon her receipt of The Human Rights Campaign Humanitarian Award, March 6, 2004


© Barbra Streisand 2004

I have been fortunate to receive a few awards in my lifetime, and I always appreciate them, but I must say that this is a very special one because the gay community has supported me from the very beginning. I know that this is a challenging moment in your history. So I am very proud to accept this award from the Human Rights Campaign at this time. You are on the frontlines in the struggle for equal rights, even as continued prejudice stands in the way.

The American Constitution is a magical document that has evolved over 200 plus years. While we revere it, it did not start out as a perfect document. This Republic was founded with a Constitution that counted slaves as three-fifths human. It took decades and a Civil War, the deadliest in U.S. history, to erase that stain upon our country. It took over 100 years to bring women into the political system by giving them the right to vote. Interracial marriage was illegal in some states until 1967. Now the Bush Administration wants to change the positive inclusive direction of our Constitution by calling for an amendment that authorizes discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation.

Well, I say, no way. Dr. Martin Luther King taught us that the arc of history is long, but it bends towards justice. We must always go forward, towards greater liberty and greater equality, not backward.

You know, for me, the realization that two people should have the right to form a sacred union regardless of their gender was strengthened when I saw a performance of the play The Normal Heart in 1985. After feeling the love those two men had for each other, I dare anybody not to want them to get married by the end.

The law cannot dictate matters of the heart. When two people form a deep bond, there is usually a soul connection, and the soul has no gender. Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness are fundamental rights in this country. Happiness can be many things - a good meal, a good friend, a warm puppy, and certainly...love. How can anyone legislate who you can love? That is a human right, the right to love and be loved.

And when you love someone, whether you're in a heterosexual or same-gender relationship, shouldn't you be able to visit them in the hospital when they're sick or dying? Shouldn't everyone have the right to enter into a loving, legally binding, committed relationship that takes on special responsibilities and obligations?

Current civil union legislation doesn't go far enough in protecting equal rights. We must not deny gay families many of the benefits that help keep families strong...social security, pensions, veteran's support, inheritance, the right to take unpaid leave to care for a spouse...the list goes on and on.

Instead of helping families, this president wants to spend a billion and a half dollars to bolster marriage. Turning government into a marriage counselor is a joke...a waste of time and money. It's not a policy; it's a diversion.

But this administration regularly uses the politics of diversion to their advantage. They cleverly use divisive cultural issues to avoid talking about other serious problems, such as unemployment and healthcare. They go after Saddam because they can't find bin Ladin ... They want to send missions to Mars instead of protecting the Earth... Tax cuts for the wealthy instead of assisting the poor...

You have to look at what Bush does, not what he says. Talk is cheap. He expresses empathy for military families and then cuts their benefits...He names a proposal "The Clear Skies Initiative" that pollutes the planet...He says he'll be a uniter and then drives us apart...He steals the slogan "No Child Left Behind" and then breaks his promise to fund his reforms.

Truly, I stand here flabbergasted at what is going on in today's world. Never in my life have I witnessed a president and an administration that is so out of step with the needs of the country, so threatening to our future and so abusive in its use of power.

The Clinton administration left this country with a budget surplus, and also a surplus in the goodwill we shared with our allies. Now we have a deficit in both.

Before the war in Iraq, I went to hear Scott Ritter speak - he had been a weapons inspector for seven years. He told us there was no imminent threat to the United States, that the program to develop nuclear weapons had been dormant since 1998. There was no connection between Iraq and al Qaeda (one is a secular society and the other fundamentalist), that chemical weapons have a short shelf life and wouldn't be usable today...in short, everything Scott Ritter told us has turned out to be the truth.

But this president (the only one to cut taxes during a war) made terrorism a partisan cause. He charged Democrats with being soft on terror, a lie. He appointed John Ashcroft to trample our civil liberties as Attorney General, and, from a human rights point of view, his use of Guantanamo Bay has roused international protest.

Now as the president gears up for his re-election campaign, the right wing propaganda machine is ready to take the skin off of John Kerry, the Democratic Party's nominee. I've never seen anything as ruthless or as relentless as this. They can take a slur hatched at the Republican National Committee or a lie huckstered by the Heritage Foundation, repeat it on Fox, hit it on Limbaugh, print it in the Wall Street Journal, until it's coming out of every media outlet imaginable. Repeating lies over and over doesn't make them any more true. But it does make people believe the lies a little more until finally they stop demanding the truth.

I've seen their ferocity up close, as I witnessed the astounding assault on the CBS movie about Ronald Reagan, in which my husband starred and Craig and Neil produced. They attacked that movie and drove it off network television before any of them had ever seen it.

The Right Wing is very well-organized. They fight dirty. They project their own nastiness onto their opposition. Remember how they accused the Democrats of stealing the election in Florida, while they themselves were doing just that!

We're now in a period that whenever you say something that's critical of the government, you are accused of being unpatriotic. Bush even lent himself to an utterly despicable campaign in Georgia that impugned the patriotism of Senator Max Cleland, who had sacrificed three limbs in the same Vietnam War that the president ducked. Talking about patriotism, let's never forget Bush's fellow Republican, Teddy Roosevelt, who in 1918 said, "To announce that there must be no criticism of the president, or that we are to stand by the president right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public."

Indeed, this country now faces a fundamental choice. Multilateral security or pre-emptive wars. Closing or widening the gaps between the haves and the have nots. Facing the truth or accepting the lies. The public taking an interest or tuning out. Extending our rights or turning them back.

Mr. Bush will dress himself up as a compassionate conservative once more for the election, but he has embraced a remarkably radical policy, which I pray the public finally sees. The mishandling of national and economic security. The shameless politics of special interests and crony capitalists. (And when you talk about special interests it's important to differentiate between public interests that benefit the larger good of the people, like protecting the environment or finding a cure for cancer, versus the special interests that are limited to a particular industry or corporation, like Enron or Halliburton).

Bush recently pushed through a prescription drug bill that actually gives a better deal to the drug companies than to the seniors who need the drugs. And what about the new energy plan that actually increases our dependence on Persian Gulf oil (even though he recently said just the opposite in his State of the Union speech).

The Republicans will try to win the election by convincing the American public that they are the father figures who can keep us safe. But the facts contradict the myth. Two and a half years after the largest attack on American soil, our borders remain easily penetrable. We have the capacity to inspect only 2% of cargo containers coming into our country. Local law enforcement has been weakened by spending cuts, and our intelligence lacks manpower and updated technology. And which party's budget provides the most for homeland security? The Democrats!

This president is so transparent. The only way he would agree to investigations of the mishandling of intelligence leading up to the Iraqi war, is if we wait until after the election to get the reports. Has this administration no shame? What job are we not doing that has allowed them to pull the wool over the eyes of the American people?

But...there is hope. It's starting to turn. I can feel it. The media is finally asking the president and his staff the tougher questions, and looking into the issues that should have been investigated years ago. The people are speaking out at all levels from the grassroots to Washington. All of the good work so many people are doing is finally making a dent. We won't be scared into submission.

What should scare us is that we have no checks and balances on this administration. They control the White House, the Senate, the House of Representatives and the Supreme Court. All we have is each other. So each of us must do what we can to create positive change in November. I know the Human Rights Campaign will be at the center of the struggle for equality. And let's be smart...Let's be pragmatic...Let's not allow the Republicans to use gay marriage as a political tool in this election year. Truth and justice eventually wins out.

I am proud to stand with you tonight as the recipient of this prestigious award. Together we can and we will win the fight.


**
Like I said love-bugs...this was a long-ass speech and I just couldn't find anything to trim...but then Babs...needs all the room she can take to let it rip..

Seriously darlins....whether you're a Republican or a Democrat or neither..
isn't this president starting to scare the shit out of you.. just a little?
hmmm?
 
 

Tuesday, March 16

Nawlins back to Madrid

hello love-bugs
tis i rocking rossi
returned from the "Big Easy"
honeys..i do so love that town New Awlins
or as they day, NAWLINS
anyway its fabu and my dear friend Miha and i had a blast
but i must say "Nawlins" is no place for a gal on a homeopathic diet
sheesh there just didn't seem to be anything i was allowed to eat
except blackened red fish and grits
oh well i did cheat at little (LOT)
did sip some wine
drank some big ass thing called a Yellow bird which tasted lethal
and turned my tongue neon
but mostly lived vicariously thru miha
how ate up the town for me
sampling gumbo in just about every stop we went to
and downing some oysters avec martini too
thanks miha-la
miha and i were determined to comprehend this wild honky tonk city
so we actually GASP
left the french quarter and explored other parts
like walking all the way from the garden district thru the warehouse district
and winding up at the river.
but no matter where we went
whether the hoods seemed glorious or poverty stricken
we saw such beautiful architecture
my god the houses, with the spanish iron fences
the glorious old brick
the lovely cobble stone streets
there did seem to be more Irish in town that i would have normally associated with NAWLINS..
and this was not st pattys either
some sorta irish parade that left all the streets covered in beads
and heads of cabbage
guess when its Irish day, you throw beads and cabbage
who knew?
anyway
it was great
and i do want to go back and lose myself in that city
in the sexy blues and soulful feel of it all

but meanwhile
my head is on other things
mostly
well in spain to tell ya the truth
is anyone else wondering about the significance of this happening on the 11th?
shit i am
and i also worry about the fact that the terrorists must be sitting around cracking the hell up because their plan worked so well
no only did they get to murder 200 innocent people
but they got all of spain to topple their political leadership and endorse a party who will pull the troops out of Iraq
honeys
its not that i blame spain for doing this
you want a new leader
you go for it
its just that i hate that the terrorists so got exactly what they wanted
and murder is not a good thing to reward
thats what i love about israel
other than that well
its the homeland of my people
they do not reward terrorists
when some palestinian ^%$#^&* bastard blows himself or herself up and kills women, children babies, men at prayer
the israelis strike back
hey
say what you want but at least its not rewarded
listen
my heart bleeds for spain
this is after all their september 11th
and the first thing you want to do when you see your people get murdered is lash out at the higher ups
and it sure didn't seem like their higher ups were riding this wave right
i also don't really know how i feel about Iraq anymore
its turned into such a Vietman style nightmare over there
and with it being full on proven that the baby Bush either lied
or just ran out there half cocked (no pun intended) and dragged us all into this
my head is just spinning when it comes to iraq

i don't know dearies
im fresh outa plans to stop all this death and horror

when it comes to terrorists i only know one thing
they should also just drop the fuck dead


Friday, March 12

false islam

well its 6 AM
and im sipping my tea.. packing, getting ready for my morning flight to NEW AWLINS.. havent been to THE BIG EASY for oh hmm about 8 years..when i went with ex lover number 23..I was so taken back by the French Quarter..the mixture of Spanish architecture, French culture, African flavor and American Hillbilly music and more than a few pirates...blended together to make Cajun and Creole.

The city was dangerous when i went there..a bunch of tourists had just been killed in the above ground cemetary..It was Christmas time, rather quiet and cold and i had the sense that i could hear, feel and almost see, every lost soul every ghost drifting about this haunted city..

New Awlins...i look forward to meeting you again today...in your spring...hurrahs..

but...

I've got a lot on my mind today and not just about my own journeys..
this morning im sitting with the terrible images from madrid
the terrible terrorism
in Spain?
oh honeys when was the last time, you saw Spain on the news?
this neutral country..hasn't had air time since the inquisition..
now 200 dead over a thousand injured..
i don't have to tell you what the images of destruction and body bags
brough me right back to

now Al-Qaida..is claiming responsibilty for the 10 terrorist bombs that tore thru trains and stations and people and worlds..during the morning rush hour commute

why?
oh ...for daring to be america's ally...in its war against Iraq..amongst other things

the bodies of the dead, lay broken, torn apart...some still holding their ringing cell phones..their loved ones on the other end...the survivors sad, wounded, bloodied..devastated.... it's all so familiar now
so sadly familiar..

i grieve for spain, for madrid for these people and their loved ones
i am sorry

the name of islam...
Islam which to me used to mean...a religion that i knew little about, for or against
now means a religion that is used to justify mass murder

i know its not PC of me to feel such hatred for a religion that houses so many innocents, so many people who do not condone this
but with so much murder and hatred and terror done in the name of Islam
its hard not to see that name as Hitler
as Nazi
as murder
as blood
as death..

so i will try
try try
to think of it not as islam
but as false-islam
because the little i know if this religion tells me
that to really follow it
to really believe
to really be a devotee
one could not kill innocent lives

and so to you false-islam murderers
i say
what are you accomplishing here today
except spreading world wide hate
for your cause
hate for the very people you say you represent
what are you accomplishing
and where do you really think you will go after you die?

surely you can't expect heaven to open its doors to you?

are you that brainwashed?

Wednesday, March 10

change

well here i am
its spring
and i find myself at the beginning of what feels like a major life change
how do i know? you ask..
it's just a feeling
usually brought on by a huge disaster of some kind
then followed by anger.. a touch of madness and some fear
what comes next is hope

for a 30-something babe (YES DAMN IT I AM STILL IN MY 30'S) for a little longer anyway

for a woman as young as moi..ive had quite a few life changes
there were several growing up
but they weren't with my approval
such as being moved from town to town
school to school
but my first major self created life change
came in the summer between 8th grade and high school
i left the 8th grade a shy, quiet, wreck of a girl in large sweaters to hide my body and greasy hair
i turned up in high school a few months later
as Janis Joplin, jeans , cigarettes, rock and roll and a pint of hiram walker blackberry brandy
something happened in that summer
the shy weak girl was melted away by the sun in miami
by romance
by someone telling me i was beautiful
and by a huge waft of bad-ass-ness that thankfully has never left me

my next big life change
came when i left home at 16
and moved from a ritzy little town on the jersey shore
to a high crime neighborhood in brooklyn during its high crime era
i went into battle mode and have been a warrior mama ever since

then came my decision after my first major heart-break
to leave the world of late-night bartending
and start my own catering business
many a rocky year
with money worries after that
but that survivor mode thing paid off
14 years later im still cranking

then came the death of my mother
which turned my world around
and turned me from a party hardy gal
into a sort of introspective mama
i can still kick it up
but honey
i've never been shallow again after that one
nada bit

then september 11th happened
and everything i believed was torn from me
i watched 3,000 people die at my doorstep
went down there
as a volunteer and stood just 20 feet from the smoldering hole of what once was the south tower..the pain, death, devastation surrounding me
has never left my soul
and i doubt it ever will
from that point on
i was never
for a single moment
innocent again


and now comes today
the love of my life is lost to me
after so much trying
so much hoping
so much dreaming
and yes so much praying
we have both thrown in the towel
and i am watching that towel
fly in the air, get caught by the wind
toss around a bit
but ultimately land in a crumbled heap
of loss
a death
certainly a death
of so many things
and through the sadness
and the anger
and the "why, why, why?"
WHY?!
comes this voice
this tiny voice
and it whispers
"new day" "new world"
and i feel that old familiar tug again
and i know that yes
here i go
about to change my entire universe yet again
how vast will the change be?
will i leave new york?
change careers?
become a different me?
travel?
leave the country?
leave the east village?
learn to fly?
oh who knows
who knows
but its coming
change
change
its coming
and there's nothing i can do
to stop it
so ill keep you posted dear readers
look for many adventures to come
i have no idea what kind
and while we are on the subject
a great new friend and i are running off to new orleans for this weekend
i expect to find many an adventure while im there
or at least some beauty
and some magic
and a chance to get to know my new friend a little better
ill keep you posted

meanwhile
i'm trying to grow wings
do you think a little salt on the shoulder blades would work?

Sunday, March 7

new york mama

being a manhattanite can be a strange kinda addiction
today was a gorgeous day
and i was thrilled to remove myself from my HUGE funk
and hop a train to upper Westchester to see the house (mansion) my old pals
anne marie and jamie bought
honey this house was like out of a bed and breakfast dream
yellow, sweet, old
with 18 rooms
3.5 baths
tons of antiques
wrap-a-round porch
clawfoot tubs
land
swings
and
um
land
roaring fire
6 burner stove
and umm land
and to make things just perfect
an adorable 11 month old baby boy
an aging but perky golden retriever
and a kitten on the way
sigh
it was like being in somebody elses all American dream
and anne marie
always the hostess with the mostess
took me antiqueing
then sat me in front of the fire while she
cooked her down-home recipe for fried chicken
for supper
it was great really
and part of me didn't want to leave
but taking the train back to the city
i thought about how great it would be to live in a house instead of a one bedroom apartment
to have land instead of a fire escape
to hear birds instead of sirens
to smell air
instead of the Con Edison plant
but once i stepped out of my cab
passed a homeless man
swung past the corner bodega
and looked down my block
i knew i was home
home is where the bums pee
the grass is covered in concrete
and the sanitation guys wake you screaming "mother-fucker" at 6:00 am
god i love new york!!

FYI
anne marie and jamie
i'm still available for weekends
wink

Saturday, March 6

sappy ass me

sigh
well my inspiring bit of nature seems to have imploded
after watching the mommy and daddy pigeon make their nest
so lovingly
watching mommy lay her egg
and sitting on them in the rain
in the cold
in whatever kind of temperature to protect her baby
i woke one morning to discover that the egg was simly gone
no shells
no baby pigeon
nothing
and mom gone too
shes come back a few times
today i saw her come back with her mate
and she climbed down and sat on her nest as if to make sure
that yes
its really gone
then she flew away
i dont know what happened to the egg
or if she'll try again
and i don't much about the emotions of birds
but i feel so sad for her loss somehow
and sad for mine too
cause i was so looking forward to watching this new life
hatch
grow
and fly in front of me
while my own life has been changing
so drastically
so quickly
what a simple and wondrous distraction i hoped this would be
anyway
im bummed
and yes
i am so sappy these days
i'm probably making you ill
but really i was touched by this little pigeon family
and im sad to see them go

so whats left
well its me
i guess
left to make my own distractions
find my own bits of beauty to be inspired by
so maybe today
ill walk in the misty rain
through thompkins square park
and watch the dogs play in the dog rain
maybe tomorrow
ill be less sappy
i hope
for your sake anyway

Thursday, March 4

pigeon cool

okay for you nature lovers who wanted an update
the mama pigeon nesting on my fire escape did in fact lay in egg
an is sitting on it staring at me as we speak
she gets pretty puffy whenever i get too close to the window but otherwise seems to have adopted a "don't mess with me sista and i wont mess with you" attitude
anyway its so sweet really
and this am it was raining and mama was all wet but staying on her little baby
damn i dont think ill ever look at a pigeon the same way again
i'd love to leave some food for her, but im afraid my scent might scare her away
or the site or me reaching out there (any advice from the pigeon experts?)

on other news..
went to wild ass party last night
an "industry" party for party pros like moi
honey this shit was wild
the climax (no pun intended) of the evening
was a woman in a metal bathing suite
who used a welding machine to run along her metal covered private parts
and shoot sparks into the air..
sheeesh
there was also a naked man in zebra paint with a large shlong covered in a small piece of zebra skin
i must have been out of circulation for too long honey cause this shit was wild
anyway
new york city is rainy but warm
it feels like spring
and spring is about new and fresh isn't it
what better time to open my eyes
and look out a new un-written horizon
days like this
i suspect
maybe there is hope for us
after all

anyway
the pigeon is cool

Tuesday, March 2

the bitch is back

hello my darling patient readers, pals and hmm a few ex-lovers
i am sorry but you see i rather spontaneously left town (ran the fuck away)
for a few days in search of my brain and well a really cheap travel package
unfortunately i wound up in west palm beach during a cold, rainy, foggy and windy as hell spell and stayed in Hutchinson Island which seems to be a place largely peopled by folks about to croak

honey i knew i was tripping when i went to the Copacapana Grill for the live music and fresh fish...(the kind you eat not date err hmm)
anyway there was a 6 piece band called the "Stardusters' playing and their combined age musta been about 660..

still it was kinda adorable watching all the over 65, (hell mostly over 75) couples floating all over the dance floor..

some of them were great dancers some were terrible but they'd been together so long they knew each others dance moves better then their own

it was really sweet to watch
course watching a bunch of couples that seem happy and in love after 5 decades also made me want to commit suicide with a sharp lobster claw
since Natch the reason i've been running away so much is to nurse a bad ass case of heartsick-ness
AAAK IS THERE A CURE FOR THIS ALREADY?!
anyway..it was good to get away..even if it was to hang with the geriatric crowd
at a cold and windy swimming pool
came to my beloved NYC
just in time for a warm spell and lots of edgy under 65 kids
partying out
i guess you can't really run away from the blues
they kinda follow you where-ever you go
no matter how far
or
um
how drunk
shh just kidding
it was only two margaritas
and
um
a glass of wine
but thats it
really
anyway
im back
hope you missed me

Hey FYI
how cool was it that Sean Penn finally won and oscar
i dug it man
course it would have also been most excellant if johnny depp had won for that outa-control pirate act
and yes
i love
love
love
charlese
even if a few pals of mine said i looked like her
IN make up for Monster
hey boys
you're fired!

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