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Wednesday, December 31

New Year's Joy

well it's new year's
guess it's time for making promises i may or may not keep
taking stock and inventory of my past year and what i have and have not accomplished
and making a plan for the year to come..
i think for tonight
for this new year's eve
for maybe
possibly the first time in my life
i will make the simplest
and yet most difficult promise to myself
i will try to be happy

funny, you may think that's what we all do every day or our life
but think about it
is it?
is it really?

i work hard to put money in the bank so that i can feel safer in this big often lonely city

but feeler safer and all the things one gives up to feel safer, to build a nest egg
to build a fortress against the unknown don't always make one happier

i paint and i write with the hope that one day, these things will make me immortal
but often, far, far too often i don't paint and write for the sheer joy of the creative process.. my good friend debbie, an amazing opera singer shared something with me last night...i asked her what she wanted from her opera career thinking she would say, fame, fortune, a debut at The Metropolitan Opera House...but instead she answered...that she simply wanted to sing and to grow and to fine tune and improve her craft until its peak....she wanted to sing for the sheer joy of singing and perfecting her voice...Debbie knows how to find happiness in her singing..

i have been really down on my self as a writer and a painter simply because i have not achieved mainstream recognition...i have lost sight of the simple wonderful gift of the creative urge..to really find happiness i have to throw away the result of the creative process and stay with the process itself..

all of my friends have pointed out to me that right now is a time in my life when i should be walking around with endless joy
i have survived running away from home at 15
moving to Crown Heights Brooklyn during a high crime era when I was only 16 years old, unskilled, broke and alone and surviving and perhaps in some ways excelling..and yet now...a little more than two decades later..i don't roll in pride and joy and accomplishment...i feel only how tired all that surviving has made me...i feel like a war veteran...in some ways...

La Cubana and I went away to Washington for a few nice days...but our return to NYC was terrible for reasons I won't go into...and so I have dwelled only on our unpleasant return..In other words, I don't think about the flight, I think about the crash...

Life throws us so many painful things: death, disapointment, loss

how can we ever expect to survive these things, if we don't at least try to find happiness when we can?

so my New Year's resolution is to try to be happy
to search for the large and the tiny things that give me joy and try to experience them..to open my heart to new things and not dwell so much on the old
to reduce the complex bag of crap the world throws at me to two lists:
what's really important in the scheme of things
and what is not
and to be strong enough
and willing enough
and brave enough
to walk away from something if it means that my happiness must be forfeit to keep it

i want to be happy
simple
total
impossible
and possible
i simply want to smile

Monday, December 29

Washington DC

hello love bugs
it is i rossi of the north-east
and i have returned from my trek
across washington DC
it was rough honeys!!
not only was i forced to stay in a 4 star hotel
but i was subjected to room service, way too much champagne, a very large bath tub, a trolley ride around DC, a steak dinner at a fancy shmancy restaurant and lots of long walks..

it wasn't all sweet and lovely darlins
actually there was a lot of heavy stuff too
like the fact that La C who used to come to DC three days a week had never seen so many homeless and when asked just about everybody we met
blamed it on our current president

this actually caught me by surprise I knew New York was not a Bush friendly place..over-all, but I expected Washington DC to be very very Bush friendly if for no other reason than to be patriotic

but everyone, i mean with zero exception that we spoke with about the current state of DC and anything remotely political just hated Bush

the cab drivers, the waiters and
the security guards all felt he'd ruined the economy

i'm guessing this was the working class poll we'd accidentally taken and might have gotten a different response from the upper crust in DC
but i like to stick with the working class folks to get a real feel for public opinion

what struck me was this city DC is the welcome wagon for people all over the world to come and judge america
and if DC with its beautiful monuments
and endless museums
can not
do anything about the mini-homeless villages forming under awnings, in parks,
at construction sites...then this country's economy surely must be in the toilet..

La C and i also went to the Holocaust Museum..
naturally i expected this to throw me into a serious emotional state
but the state i was thrown into was not the one i expected
oh of course there was the horror and the outrage
but i grew up in a family deeply affected by the holocaust
this was not new
what was new happened in the part of the museum that showcased the ill fated ship the spirit of st louis which carried about a thousand jews
the passengers were photographed in happy spirits
having escaped hitler
then the ship sailed to cuba
and was not let in
relatives pleaded and begged
and offered to pay huge monies
but the ship was not let in
the ship then sailed to america
where it was close enough to see the lights of Miami
but Franklin Roosevelt would not let the ship in
he and America at the time riding a high wave of anti-Semitism
felt this was a "Jewish Problem" and wanted no part of it..
some other KINDER or BRAVER countries took in some of the people on the ship
and the rest were sent back to Germany to die by the hands of the nazis

it was horrible to read about how America stood by
while so many millions of jews were killed
how america did not boycott the olympics there was perhaps Hitler's greated
PR success

i felt so ashamed of my country
that we waited until so many millions were murdered before we joined the war
and in truth did not join the war to save those millions
but because of Pearl Harbor

I'd always regarded Franklin Roosevelt as a great man
but the blood of millions in concentration camps
is on his hands
for standing back and letting it happen

and so
a trip thru washington DC
our nation's capital
wound up
making me feel
ashamed of two or our countries presidents
and yet made me feel
proud of a country that lets me
voice that shame

i also went to see the Ford Theatre where Lincoln was assasinated
i stood next to the clothing Lincoln had worn the night he was murdered
i looked at a piece of his blood stained pillow case
real blood
Lincoln's blood

this was a great man
he'd always been my favorite president
a man who risked it all to do right
who went against half the country
he brought us into a civil war
who inspired such hatred that he was killed
all to fight for the underdog
for the African slave
for the right for all men
to be equal in this country

Abraham Lincoln
where are you now
today
when we need you

Wednesday, December 24

Kitschmas

Hey Folks
just getting ready to run outa town but I thought I would leave you with this little ditty I wrote many years back for one of my columns and have rekindled several times since then around this time of year
it's my tribute to jews on Christmas
so here goes


Kitshmas
by Rossi

I like to think of being Jewish as a marathon sport. I can dole out a soul crunching guilt complex from a hundred yards, spot two people that just have to meet each other from a crowd of thousands and be counted on for any occasion to have enough left-overs in my refrigerator to feed Pittsburgh.
Eleven months out of the year I celebrate my Jewishness as my god given right to be neurotic-not to mention amongst the chosen ones-, but when Christmas season rolls around I feel like the only one locked out of a killer sample sale.
“Let me in! I’ve got credit!”
Suuuuuure. We’ve got Chanukah, 8 days of it. 8 days trapped in the living room while your parents discuss the time you were constipated for a week from too much egg salad. 8 days when your gifts are doled out agonizingly, one per day to keep you coming back for more.
Christmas always seemed so much more merciful. You have a huge Christmas Eve party, wake up, open your gifts, eat and leave. If you decide to watch television, every single program is custom tailored to your special day. Growing up, the closest I could come to a Chanukah program was the Twilight Zone marathon.
So what’s a Jew to do on Christmas?
You could get into the spirit of things, by making a Chanukah bush, but let’s face it, there’s something really depressing about a six foot Rubber Plant adorned with hanging dreidels, Moses statuettes and pictures of Barbara Streisand.
No, to really to beat the Christmas blues one must think bigger than Barbara. Which is why on December 25th of this year, I will be instituting the first annual Kitschmas. On the eve of this festive holiday, Jews in leisure ware-think Catskills by way of Loeman’s - will feast on a wide array of exotic canapés like liverwurst spread or anchovy salad and sip champagne punch with floating honeydew ball garnish.
In the morning the family will awaken, find the square on the Twister Board with their name taped to it and open their gifts. Aaah the splendor of it all; 20 packs of Ritz crackers with accompanying Cheese Whiz , Barbie in her mini-skirt faze, a Daniel Boone hunting kit and for mom; a complete set of matching polka dot Tupperware.
After a lazy afternoon of watching “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes” and “Revenge of the 50 Foot Cowgirl” Kitshmas dinner will be served and what a magnificent spread it will be. Pastrami Wellington, tuna fish casserole, ice burg lettuce salad, marshmallow covered sweet potatoes and fish sticks, lots and lots of fish sticks. Don’t forget to save room for dessert; a giant Jell-O mold shaped like Elvis and, of course, baked Alaska.
After dinner, we’ll sing show tunes around the fire. Then it’s Merry Kitshmas to all and to all a good night.
“Oy... now who’s going to help me with these dishes? All the years I slaved for you children and what do I get? Maybe one letter a year asking for money. 36 hours of labor and I don’t even qualify for a post card on Mother’s Day............”


Tuesday, December 23

i'm outa here

so La C
and i are off to Washington (DC) for five days..
no, we don't have family there
no, we don't have business there
no, we don't have any particular purpose in going there
it's just that if we don't get our asses out of NYC
and go somewhere we will simply go mad
both LA C and I suffer from the, as long as we are home, we will work
disease
anyway
i haven't spent any time in DC since I was a kid on a class trip
and La C says it's a kicking city
with a fun queer scene
and great food
museums
you know
everything thats great in NYC that we never do
so basically we're going somewhere else
so we'll do those things
what can i say
anyway
its a change of scenery
an arty city
for a political city
but i'm up for anything that lands
LA C and i in a hotel for 5 days
woo hooo
room service here i come
happy holidays you'all
i shall not blog again till i return
toodles

Monday, December 22

new links on the love list

hey ya'all
just wanted you to know
that i have added (GASP) two more sites to my rather short linky love list..
yes indeedeeee
and much long overdue i must say too
so sorry dudes
but check out
"oceanguy" for some take no prisoners, no nonsense, honest, in your face, full on chutzpah! You might not always agree with him...but you will always know he is completely NOT full of shit...i just love that in a guy..
and for my second new addition to my linkie love list
"paul frankenstein" !!! Oh yes...dearies I do know that I am like the only person in blog land who didn't add paul to my linkie love list...i mean the boy is very very popular...but he deserves it...he's smart, perky and plunky
so check him out too
so
ocean guy
and paul frankenstein welcome to the rossirant love list
a small but growing slice of folks who shoot from the hip
and um the groin
and the abdominals
and the hmm well never mind

Sunday, December 21

buy me damn it

happy holidays ya-all
just want to give you all once last chance
to buy
ME
yep i'm
or rather one of my creations is going up on the block
at the January 3rd art auction
in Provincetown Mass
and i know you don't want to miss the chance to bid on a little slice
or Rossi

so if you haven't checked this out already
just scroll down aphabetically
to Rossi
and see my painting
Shadow Window
to make a bid you can email the auctioneer at
ptownauction@aol.com
or give him a buzz
at
508-487-7281
his name is terry catalano

anyway here it tis one last time
check it out
ain't i just the self-marketing mama
i know
i know
shameless
absolutely
shameless
fuck it

outercapeartauctions

Saturday, December 20

chanukah oh chanukah

well my chanukah nosh fest
was a huge hit
not only did i over-feed a small group of my friends
but i didn't cook a &^%#&** thing
thats right baby
this chef was strickly heat and plop
heat slice and plop
heat and plop
and that was fabulous darling
i went full scale jew kitsch
potato pancakes and apple sauce
swedish meatballs
pastrama, rye, half sour pickles and mustards
baby kasha and potato knishes
baby kosher franks in the blanket
and for dessert
compliments of my pals liz and debbie
deep brooklyn rugelach (kinda like a cross between a cookie and a strudel for those not in the know)
there were hmm 10 or 11 people, 2 dogs and 2 cats here
and the we went thru 6 bottles of wine, 1 bottle of champange, 1/2 bottle of cognac and a good dent on some kahlua and coffee too
the whole shebang was supposed to run from about 7 till 9 or 10
but everyone got so comfy that the last to roll downstairs was at 1:30 am
drunk, stuffed and happy
thats the way i like em
but now im done
chanukah
shmanukah
im gonna light the #$%&^ candles
order in some chinese
crawl into bed and watch tv all friggen night long
sue me if you dont like it
but thats my kinda chanukah
burp
sorry
too much kasha

Thursday, December 18

tis the season to SCREAM

tis the season to be rudeeeeeee
fu fu fu fu fuckkkk offf
fu fu fu fuccckkk offffff

i'm sorry darlings but i think i've been shoved, elbowed, pushed and full on smashed into oh about a THOUSAND TIMES TODAY...

hey folks it's called shopping and it's not supposed to be a last man/woman standing cage fight...!!!!!

for crying out loud (literally)...what the hell ever happened to the Christmas spirit??

i went into the 2nd Avenue Deli to buy potato pancakes (no dears I am not grating potatoes into oblivion now that i finally have some %$#^&* time off from cooking)..for my first night of Chanukah soiree man ya na...and i just about lost a limb...

there was the bitch from long island chewing gum and screaming me next even though me and oh about a half dozen people were in front of her

there was the stoner..who was like in the mood for pastrami dudeeee
who kept his elbows on his hips so no one could look into the deli counter to see what they wanted...cause you know dude...we'd be like violating his personal space

there was the old geezer who just stood there with a puss on his face scowling as if we were all responsible for his lousy friggen life...

i mean sheeesh already.... december is supposed to be the time of year when everyone gets all filled up with love and warmth not bitchy-ness and gas...

sigh
oh well
i'm home
got a few killer bruises (seriously) but i'm home
safe and sound
gearing up for my chanukah, light the menorah and eat your motherfucking pancakes soiree
why i planned a party after 4 months of catering other people's parties i don't know
guess i do know
it's simple

i'm NUTS!!!

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Tuesday, December 16

the Saddam, Palestinian fan Club

So I hear the Palestinians are downright bummed out that Saddam Hussein was captured... seems like although he was a murderer, dictator, torturer, and well let's just say a budding baby Hitler, the Palestinians considered him something akin to Santa Claus.

Guess this would have something to do with the fact that even though his own people were starving, good old Saddam was doling out 25,000 checks to the families of suicide bombers.. just to say..oh you know..."hey job well done"

"murder a few more for me okay!"

"blow up a few more babies next time..!'

Well what can i say... murderers do like blood...don't they..

and Saddam was extra special to the Palestinians because not only was he rewarding them for terror but he was calling full on for the destruction of Israel..

yep..a real...angel...that Saddam..

So now the Palestinians are in mourning over the demise of their..patron saint Hussein...

Hmmm... this is kinda giving me a huge ass Deja vus over the Palestinians dancing and singing in the streets when the World Trade Centers went down..


So let's see if I've got this down okay..

If Saddam's capture is bad because he used to reward suicide bombers
and in total gave out oh 35 million bucks

If the demise of the world trade center was good...because 3,000 lives were lost..

then the message i'm getting is... terror is good
and peace, conversation, talking it out, brother-hood amongst man is bad...

so tell me then,
tell me again
why is it i'm supposed to care so %$#^&** much for the Palestinian cause?

just fill me in here
cause you know maybe im missing something here

Sunday, December 14

eat the dictator

so they finally bagged saddam
well good
shit
at least one of these mofos
is behind bars
(the other being osama natch)
i say yeah
let the iraqi's have their war trials
give them some nuremberg style closure here
after all

americans may hate hussein
but it was the people of iraq
who were murdered
jailed
tortured
and opressed by him
so i'd say he should be their trussed up baby
for a nice long war trial
and then
after that
my vote
is to hand him over to that
german cannibal we've all been reading about on the news
and let him
slice
dice and saute
saddam
with some garlic
white
wine
and oh yeah
a few fava beans

seriously
i do hope this brings an end to this violence
and let's this
endless
pile of blood
crap
war
and
sadness
just become a chapter in history
as for moi
i got some closure
just seeing how shitty that fat bastard looked
and knowing he's been spending his time
in a dirt hole under a house
nice long dive down from palace life
huh saddam??
maybe you shoulda been human
while you had the chance

Saturday, December 13

rossi art on the block

well love- muffins
the artistic side of moi
is back in action again
after a long hiatus during which i felt sorry for myself
and wondered why oh why
have i not yet
become a world famous writer/painter..
or umm seedy celebrity

anyway
i did respectfully okay
in that fancy shmancy art auction
my painting was in a bit back
so im in again
in the january 3rd auction
and they bumped me up from number 175
to number 112
so i'm moving up in the world
zippety dooo daaaa i'm so gayyyy (ok ill shut up)

anyway
once again
for anyone who would love to buy a piece of rossi
(abdominal muscles not included but we can discuss it)

go to the auction here
and just scroll down alphabetically to Rossi
click on Rossi to see the painting
i think you'll like this one
its got great hooters

you can do silent bids by emailing the auction..and they will get right back to you
believe me honey they love to take the money

regardless go check me out
i call this painting "shadow window"

outercapeartauctions

Thursday, December 11

johnny be good

hey folks
if you ever read the comments on this site
then you'll know that MikeR
is one of the all time
best and most interesting commentorialistic (woo did i invent that word)
dudes
this little gal has ever been blessed by
well it turns out that
mr. smarty pants (mean that in such a good way.. wink)
has just started his own
site
so go on over and check him out
i'm sure he's gonna rock the house
congrats big fella
you can check out mike
on my linky love list
just added him
he's "johnny lockheart"
cool name by the way Mike...
can you fill us in
on the significance of your tag line
maybe in the comments section here
you know for old times sake
ha

more stuff

let me just say
that ive started this day off
with a bang
by having the all time most disgusting
first thing in the morning breakfast
pastrami and (wheat free) black bread with deli mustard
and a cup of tea
dont ask me why
(ovulating)
but man it was great in its own nasty way
meanwhile
back at the ranch
my art producing partner dror
you may recall of the huge show Reaction
we did a little while back
and I
are back in the saddle again
we're working on a mixed media collaboration
that's sure to be a huge hit
or well at least i hope so
we're planning on producing it here in the east village
of manhattan
in april or may
so ill keep you posted
but its exciting to get all my juices flowing again
i know
i know
you'all didn't think i could get any juicer
but i can damn it
i can
on other news
the cat has stopped puking
its raining and i dont care
and i lost three more pounds
and can see
gasp
my abdominal muscles
woooooo
hehehehhehehe

Wednesday, December 10

just out of curiousity
am i the only out here
who is starting to feel sorry
for michael jackson??

Tuesday, December 9

just stuff

well love bugs
its been a bit of a rocky week for moi
relationship drama
asshole clients
snowstorms
vomiting cats
oh you name it
but its getting late
and im sipping tea
and growing introspective
and thinking that so many people i know
have serious
even life threatening problems
that my own little tales of sorrow
just don't cut it
so i shall cease the bitching
on other news
mostly to escape all the aforementioned troubles
ive been a huge movie mode lately
went to see
the human stain
21 grams
and mystic river
the human stain-good, but weird and very depressing
21 grams- good but very very very depressing
mystic river- great, but very very very depressing
shit
no wonder ive got the blues
anyway
thats all for now

Sunday, December 7

jerk week

hey folks just a quick aside
here
this is my personal web site
so if you don't like my writing style
if you need to see paragraphs
capitalization and punctuation
then (get laid)
get over yourself and go somewhere else
meanwhile
as to the array
of pretentious jerks
who have decided that this week is the week
they want to leave
obnoxious
comments on my site
go find a site you like
or get a life
whatever
cause from this point on
i will just delete your ass
you know i have no problem at all
with opposition
or
difference of opinion
a lot of my readers
have very
very different feelings
than i do
on many things
but there is a way to get your point across
without being a total stuck up
yahoo
&^%$&*(()
and a few other words

for all those lovely folks
who have managed to let me know when they like what i've had to say
and when they have not
but done say
with a bit of class
thank you
thank you
thank you

Saturday, December 6

snow storm in september

aaah its snowing
snowing
snowing
still snowing
and it looks so glorious from my living room window
even the projects look magnificent
i love this part of a snow storm
when it's falling in all its gloriousness
when everything seems like its covered in a white
lush cotton blanket
when all noise is muffled
by the thick white endless mist
it feels like pure peace

it's odd for me to say this
but whenever it snows
i remember being at ground zero a few days after september 11th
i looked at the burnt destroyed buildings
and the rescue crews
and the burnt work papers covering the tomb stones
at St. Paul's Church
but the air was so thick with dust
that everything felt muffled
everything felt softened
it was as if we were in a brown and gray snow storm
the endless floating blanket
of dust settled on our faces, our scalps, in the back of our throats
it covered the noise from the machines so we felt as though we were hearing the steady rrrrrrrr thru ear muffs..
maybe it was my need to shut off
or shut down
maybe it was my heart wanting to find some sense of beauty in all the horror
but standing amidst the dust i felt for a moment as though i were standing in the center of a snow storm
i closed my eyes and imagined that all of this death
and destruction could somehow be
cleansed
sanitized
repaired
by a great white wash of snow
but it was not a snow storm
and the longer i stood there
the more it dawned on me
that the dust covering us
muffling the noise
creating an eery sense of calm
contained millions and millions of bits of murdered innocent
people

and now
today
it is snowing
and it is so beautiful
so glorious
so magical
but a part of me
is brought back
is dragged back
to the eerie
brown and black storm
i stood inside
on september 16th..and for the days afterward
when my heart dragged me to the center of death
and i searched.. as perhaps
we all did search
for something
safe
to focus on
to take away
from the madness

snow
snow
soft
lush
protective blanket
so innocent
so pure
so soft
lord
i love the snow

Thursday, December 4

new memoirable

hey love bugs

it's time
oh yes
oh yes
for a new memoirable
lots of you folks
may recall this piece
as i wrote it as a rant on this here site
but after words
i edited it a tad
and realized it was a
fun little menoirable
indeed
so i hope you enjoy
this ride thru
my sister's friday the 13th
birthday bash
just click
on memoirable
dears
to read
13 candles
smoooches

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