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Sunday, November 30

Golda, Tovah..

...A few days before thanksgiving
LA Cubana and I went to see "Golda's Balcony"
the award winning Broadway one woman show
starring Tovah Feldshuh
about Golda Meir
this was a win win sitch
for moi honeys....
as not only am i a life long fan of Golda
but ive always really adored the totally under-appreciated Tovah

Back when I wrote my interview column for "The Flatiron News"
called "My Dinner with Rossi" in which I would take out
generally B level celebs or celebs about to "pop"or celebs in a dry spell..to dinner and interview them over
food and usually several cocktails
i had the pleasure of interviewing Tovah..
This was during a time in her career when she was not exactly dancing in the main stream
all though she was dancing in a small Jewish Theatre in Manhattan
I took her out to hmm the Irridium I think..no idea how to spell that dears
and don't make me try...
she was simply put a gas....
I was knocked out by
not only how charming and approachable she was
but how much she ate
and drank
a huge steak
lots of sides
many drinks...i think beer...
screw the calories honey..i love it!
she had gusto
after the mag came out she sent Me a card
thanking me
and signing it

your fan,
Tovah

this from a woman who's resume reads like
who's a who of great theatre
and independant film
but that's not the Tovah i wanted to interview
no i wanted to meet the hot
wild young woman
who played the Czech freedom fighter
in the late 70's (or was it early 80's?) mini-series
"The Holocaust"
oh honey
she was hot
especially to someone like me
who'd grown up with nothing but the
passive images
of my people walking into death camps
seeing a woman fighting
back
even if it was TV...
was great
course the Tovah i met'
was not young and hot
although she was very cute..
she was hmm a woman shall we say at a certain age
with kids
a house in the suburbs
looked a bit like a soccer mom with great legs
but she had class
and chutzpah
she was the first person i interviewed for my column which i proceeded to pen for several more years interviewing many great actors like Philip Seymour Hoffman,
Idie Falco, Aaron Eckhart...just dropping a few names here...don't mind me
but no one was as accessible, up front, don't give a shit honest as Tovah..
now
in "Golda"
she is getting the attention she deserves
and my god
does she deserve it
for the entire play
think its like an hour and half
its just her on the stage
no intermission
no distraction
no side cast
just her
taking us into the mind
and the life
of Golda
making us feel what it was like
to make those painful decisions
about war
death
the blood of her people
it reminded me of
how alone Israel was in those early days
how all its enemies surrounded it
ready to destroy or enslave
or exile everyone inside

how Zionisn
does not equal racism
and never has
Zionism
equals
survival
the refusal to be genocided
the refusal to die
the refusal
to swallow
or abandon one's own faith
one's own soul

and how timely
how amazingly timely this play is
because here we are once
again
with the whole world
seeming to care nothing for the survival of Israel
and the whisperings of anti-semitism
grow to shouts
grow to the burning of synagogues

Tovah..a woman of class
portraying Golda
the woman who saved Israel on more than one occasion
but who only focused on her failures
on her regret for having listened to her military advisers
and being caught so terribly off guard for the Yom Kippur War..

it was a powerful night of theatre
and resonates in me still
so much to think about
the theatre crowd gave Tovah a standing ovation and refused to stop clapping
until she had come out to bow three times
i looked at Tovah's legs..they had taken stockings and filled them with some sort of material to make her legs looked swollen and old and suffering like Golda's had been
she had been so ill...and yet stood proud and strong always in public

Golda..the grandmother who cooked chicken soup for her soldiers ...in the play...Tovah says..."but at the bottom of the pot is blood.."

I thought of Tovah...not a Hollywood actress, not an actress who seems to have played the game or seems even to know or care how...who is now at a point in her career when most actresses...are only seen at charity benefits...or the occasional info-mercial...but she is standing up and standing out

for me
this was a night to celebrate babes over 50...
hell golda didn't become prime minister till she was 70..!!

so here's to the all grown up babes
who make their second halfs
a ripe, robust
rich
and radiant
burst of
in your face glory

Bravo!

Tuesday, November 25

T-Day Blues

so thanksgiving is upon us

in a few days we will eat far too much food with our families, our lovers, our friends, our cats, our dogs, maybe a few ex-lovers

but some of us will be alone and most likely very sad on this special holiday

and it is to you lonely folks that i dedicate today's post...

on Thanksgiving if you do find yourself sad and alone...or with people you hate and feeling quite alone...just remember it could always be worse...you could be spending thanksgiving the way i did for the first 16 years of my life..

with my loud, badly mannered family..who sat in the kitchen
around a dinette table covered with a plastic cloth...on which were small horrifying flower designs... that would later remind me of a bad acid trip

mom always served Kosher roast chicken, (cause she hated to cook turkey...takes too long to defrost)
asparagus out of the can, (never knew it came any other way till i moved out)
iceburg lettuce with no dressing, (cause dressing is you know weird)
burnt steak, (cause mom never figured out that it took steak less time to cook then chicken and put them in the oven at the same time)
left-over bread that bakery sold for 10cents,(you would use it to play handball later on...)
followed by that special family favorite...tiny packets of McDonalds ketchup and mustard...
We had cranberry sauce once I think...it came out of the can and sat t here in the middle of the table, this red, can shaped thing wiggling in the breeze...I still have nightmares that that thing is chasing me in the night as I run screaming and it just
jumps after me...bong, bong, bong....
and you wonder why i became a caterer
anyway
thanksgiving at my house was never just about the food
oh no
it was more about the guilt
each dish was served with a sermon about how long my mom suffered to make this
or how far she had to travel to find kosher meat
or all the things she didn't do today and yesterday
because she was too busy
you know
opening the can...
then after we were seated
came the Ross family symphony
my father would eat in gigantic bites..chewing with huge motions
akin perhaps to Mr. Ed...he could down a meal in three swallows
and ask for seconds before i was even halfway into my charcoal crusted beef jerky
my brother played with his food, and did what he spent most of his childhood doing trying to terrorize my sister and myself
if throwing food at us didnt work
he would resort to picking his nose
my sister just stared at her food
ate little
asked for money several times in the meal
and then resumed staring at her food
and mom
mom
well she expelled an enormous
amount of gas
while walking around the table
serving us
then after satisfying herself that the aroma
had ruined any chance of even tasting what little there was left of flavor
she would sit down and
start to lecture us the kids
about how rotten we were
one year we invited Mr. Thompson (MR. T.) our old man neighbor over for thanksgiving...he was happy at first but halfway into it
he took on a dazed and misty eyed look that I've only ever seen when folks drive by a really really bad traffic accident..
he made excuses the following year ("Gonna eat at the church")
"take me with you" i thought...but knew mom would never let me go inside a church
she was convinced i would be kidnapped, brainwashed and turned into a "Jews for Jesus" upon entry..
and then there was me
at the thanksgiving table
Rossi
then known as Slovah Davidah Shana Bas Hannah Rachel
don't even try to say it
i was the anthropoligist
it was my mission to survive this experience
and live to tell about
live to write about
and i have
and i do
and im here
and you
my dear
sweet
lonely lost
souls
will not
i repeat will not
have to spend thanksgiving with my family
so rejoice
turn on the TV
eat some Chinese food
or turkey stir fry
have a beer
put your feet up
and say to yourself
there are worse things in life
than being alone on T-Day

smoooches

Sunday, November 23

respect NOT

im not professional
i care far too deeply about my clients
and about being appreciated by them
i care far too deeply about my staff
and how happy they are
and i get far
far too pissed off
when i have a staff member who does not act like they
appreciate the fact that i pay them well
respect them
feed them
send them home with doggie bags
if they like
and treat them like i would like to be treated
honey that's the reason i started my own business
cause i was so abused in the kitchen
by primadonna "soup nazi" style chefs
that i vowed to start my own catering biz and treat everyone who works with me
like family
but today im having some trouble
cause one of my key people
who has been with me for years
obviously, in his heart, wants to move on
but until he does
he has decided that it's okay to be mean
nasty
bitchy
full on "soup nazi" o rama..
to everyone around him
especially me..
and i can't take it
to work so hard
and to treat everyone around me
so well
and then
to be treated
like puppy poop
it's ridiculous
this does seem to be the story of my life
i create my own monsters
i hire someone
treat them like a god
and then very soon they start acting like one
and lording over me
done the same thing with ex-lovers
treat them like my queen
and then pretty soon they start
acting like my ruler
so what's the trick?
treat folks a little less good?
keep myself a little bit more above and beyond?
sigh
i'd like the answer to this one
i'm tired of feeling like all my good intentions
are getting shoved up my wazoo
help
i need therapy

Wednesday, November 19

Give me an M

(sung to the tune of "give my regards to broadway")

give my regardsssss to massachusettssssss

remember me along the wayyyyyyy

the rest of this country (except for alaska and vermont) are faklemptttttt

but massachusettsss is pro gayyyyyyyyy

give my love and respect to massachusettssss

you are the leaders todayyyyyyyyyy

you had the balls (and the female version of balls hmm ballettes)
to stand up and sayyyyyyy

being gay deserves the same rights todayyyyyyyyyy

hey hey hey

okay
song over
but it's catchy ain't it

meanwhile back in
the non singing world
can i just say
how happy
thrilled
ecstatic
(mildly turned on)
and
proud i am of what this north-eastern state
has just gone and done
and for those few people not in the know
(wake up!)

Massachusetts First State in Nation to Grant Same-Sex Couples
the Right to a Civil Marriage

****
WASHINGTON - The Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court ruled
that same- and opposite-sex couples must be given equal
civil marriage rights under the state constitution. The ruling
in Goodridge et al. v. Department of Public Health makes the
state the first in the nation to grant same-sex couples the
right to a civil marriage license. Ruling that civil marriage in
Massachusetts means the voluntary union of two persons as
spouses, to the exclusion of all others, the Court allowed the
Legislature 180 days to change the civil marriage statutes
accordingly.
**

Some of you out there in heterosexual land may wonder
why oh why would you queers want to get married so badly?

oh umm well other then you know "This is a basic human right!"
and that sorta thing there are also these little dandies...

If say the person you have chosen to share you life with is in the hospital
in a coma, surrounded by their blood relatives who hate that you and their little darling were lovers and have decided that even though your soul mate is near death, you just can't come in a see her or him...now...they won't be able to...now you will have spousal rights...without question..

If say your life partner dies..now it won't be such an up-hill or impossible battle to get your proper share of what a spouse should have in the way of inheritance
and legal respect for all matters pertaining to your loved ones death..

There is also that fact that now two gay lovers, life partners and soul mates
will now have the same financial responsibility for each other that straight married couples have had...which for some may be a real bummer
but really is part of the bond of marriage..the whole financial responsibilty thing
ya know

Now you and your lover will be able to file joint tax returns
and recieve whatever benefits come with that...(don't ask me
i know nada about taxes except that i sign where my accountant tells me to sign)

now...gay couples will recieve all the protections and benefits made available to straight couples...

here's a little dandy too...the various homophobic, backwards, ignorant
and well you know held in the ice ages...religious organizations that have refused to step forward and acknowledge this a basic human right and a statement of
equality for all people will you know have to recognize these marrriages
cause they can't go against the law dude....love that
love it... kinda reminds me of a little while back when the Mormon church was
anti-black...and faced a major civil rights discrimination suit for their rules against anyone who's skin was not white...they had some bullcrap thing about the darker the skin the closer to satan or some blatant..pile of dung...anyway after the leader of the Mormons was facing the hugest pile of charges and law suits you can imagine and I seem to believe was actually sitting his ass in jail at the time...
he suddenly had an epiphany and announced.."guess what...i've had a divine...
intervention here..and black folks are now okay!" woo hooo
mighty white of you there big fella...but you know
i'm thinking the turning of the tide was more about the mountain of jail time
and money you were about to lose
**FYI if anyone reading this has a copy of some of the old press on this
i think this happened in the 80's?? i'd love to read it..
(La Cubana my religious history expert has just chimed in here to inform me that the case was that black people could not ascend to the priesthood in the mormon church...thanks La C)
but i digress
my point is
soon...being anti gay marriage will be about as popular
as being anti- black folks not riding in the back of the bus
or those damn jews not having to wear their yellow stars

oh its a good day for the human race


give my regards to massachusettsssss
you are the leader of the packkkk

you are so sexy and the coolest state

that i wish you and i could date


ok ill shut up now

Sunday, November 16

Dear Darling David

dear darling dave
aka david strain
AKA
sketchesofstrain
is closing the chapter on the blogging part of his life..
his explanations on his site today are well worth reading especially the part
on how something that was supposed to be an art form has become just a vehicle for the right and the left to fight it out

This is something I too have felt saddened by
As much as my site was for me something that started as a vehicle for my
creative soul
then became my salvation and my way of telling the world the terrible
sights, sounds and experiences I was witnessing after "911"
then became the place I could voice my concern over the terrorizing of Israel
and concern over how the war on Iraq was being handled...
it now seems to be a canvas that is often torn between my creative life,
my personal life and my fear and anger over the political climate
of today's America..

I hate the way the right and left tear each other apart
in the comments sections of web sites

I hate the feeling that neither side will listen to the other
which is ironic because so many people like myself
have issues that often fall on both sides of the fence

I hate that simply because so few people today seem to have the courage to speak out against some of the wrong-doings of this presidency that I feel obligated to fill the void

I'm not a politician or a political person
I'm just a woman, a writer, an artist, a New Yorker, a Jew, a lesbian,
a humanist, a human making my way in this world..

I understand David's choice to leave because sometimes using this blogworld to keep one's writer's muscle pumped and working can also use up all of your creative juices..

I sometimes think, like David, that i would write more if I blogged less..

I'm not ready to go, dear David...as there is still so much...inside me..that I need to get out in every way, in any way I can...but i do so understand your choice..

and I will miss you

you have been a bright, honest, caring, often vulnerable voice in this often
cold and often cutting world of web...

Please stay in touch..

and in your adventures as song writer
writer
and dreamer

kick some ass

make mama proud!!

Friday, November 14

freedom?

i've been thinking about this thing called "Freedom"

La Cubana says I violate her sense of freedom when I'm too demanding

I have my own business so that I can feel a sense of freedom from bosses, from working under somebody elses agenda

I left New Jersey as an teenager, ran away from home...high-taled it as far as i could go...to escape the intense, religious and emotional prison i felt
my upbringing had encased me in

as much as i have disliked the baby bush since he (stole) the election...
i'd remained somewhat open-minded...hoping for the best..until he began the process of stealing the freedom of Americans..thru his "Patriot Act"

i support democracy over any other kind of government because it allows for the freedom to choose (or at least appear to choose) ones own leaders..

Israel...is profoundly important to me because it was the beacon of light at the end of the Holocaust... a flickering sign of hope, salvation and freedom in the middle of the dessert..

but what is the price we will pay for freedom?

do you throw away a chance at life long love in the name of freedom?

do you spend your life, running from authority in the name of freedom?

do i lose myself as an artist because i am so busy keeping myself self-employed
to support my freedom to be my own boss?

when home, with it's roaring fireplace, sizzling stew on the stove, purring cat,
lovely wife cuddled in the bed waiting for you beckons...do you..find a reason..to go out..because..safety and warmth and comfort...feels like a trade off...for freedom...?

will george junior, murder millions in the name of freedom?

will we all think it's a good idea?

will we make abortion illegal...so that women can no longer have the freedom of choice...in the name of the freedom of their un-born children?

will Israel be destroyed trying to remain alive and free?

will thousands more innocent lives be blown up by terrorists..who demand
their freedom to implement...their version of fundamentalist Islam on to the world?

will i wake up one morning
and realize that endless joy
has evaporated from my life..
in the name of leaving oneself open
to the freedom
and the possibilities of life?

freedom

such a beautiful word

the very cornerstone
of what this country is based on

the seed that sits in the base of our souls

we are all unique
we are all different from each other
we are the only one in the universe who is us..

and yet
we are all together
we are all one
we are all the same
we are all part of a greater whole

and if we can't find a way
to make our sense of freedom
fit into the freedom of others..

all of us will be slaves

Thursday, November 13

the toilet paper head wound

okay mike
here is my retarded too stupid to believe story
by way of letting you know
exactly how well i did on my
Just for today day
from yesterday
shortly after i signed off
i went to the bathroom (the internet always makes me go, don't know why)
and made a little pee pee
i then dropped the toilet paper on the bathroom floor
i bent down to pick it up
and stood up
under the sharp corner of my sink
smashing the top of my head
i thought
this could be bad
and put my fingers on my head and they came back covered in blood
i knew La Cubana
was downstairs sanding a wall (she's so butch)
and ran downstairs screaming
honey...im in trouble
as i walked into her place...
blood began dropping down my face
like a horror flick
she took one look at me and thought id been mugged
La C washed my head,
put peroxide
put ice
put me to bed with ice
on my head
and lots of pain killers
and handed me the remote control
i spend the rest of the night with ice on my head
watching incredibly bad TV
except for "Angel" which is always great
even if Angel is getting fat
today i have a huge cut on my head
and a really
really
really
bad hair day
the end
the good news
is
it did force me to GASP
take the day off

so listen
since im feeling like the idiot blonde of the universe
knocked out by picking up toilet paper
can anyone
write to me
and share their stupid
how I got hurt duhhhh
story
so i dont feel all alone
in bimbo land
thankeee

Wednesday, November 12

just for today

just for today
i will not roll my eyes back into my head
when a client calls who is so obnoxious, stuck up, pretentious
and full of their own glory that it takes every ounze of strength i have not say to say "shut the fuck up you inflated idiot!"

just for today
i will not wonder, wonder, wonder...why so many people can not read or listen to an opinion other than their own without becoming hostile

just for today
i will not obsess about the bastard clients from a couple weeks ago
who thought it was acceptable to stiff their entire staff of 30 out of their tip

just for today
i will not go to the gym and stare like as if staring at a train wreck
at the Chasidic man who works out in gym shorts with no underware

just for today
i will not get angry at my significant other for not being a little more understanding over whatever issue of the day i have deemed life altering

just for today
i will not look around my apartment and wish it were just another 100 square feet bigger

just for today
i will tackle a technological issue, like the changing of my answering machine for a new one, without being so overwhelmed by the instruction manual that i shut down completely and sit on the floor and whine

just for today
i will not..tell anyone...anyone...at all..
that i have allergies

just for today
i will get dressed, put on lipstick
fluff my hair and not find anything about my personal appearance
to dislike intensely

just for today
i will read a newspaper without
becoming terribly upset
angry
or sad

just for today
i will write from my heart
something anything
and not thing about it as an item waiting to be published
but rather as a purging of my creative soul

just for today
i will eat something without even thinking about
how it is made
and whether or not i can make it better

just for today
i will not feel guilty about anything i have ever done
even that kid i hit in the 2nd grade

just for today
i will step outside and smell the air
and look around and try to find the beauty of life
hidden right in front of my face

just for today
i will not mourn the loss
of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer"


just for today
i will take a &^%#&*(((&&^%$#^&&** Midol
and get over myself

Tuesday, November 11

preeeesumablymenstral

well i thought id take a break from Bush bashing
(don't even go there...you little perverts)
to deal with other aspects of life as i see it
feel it
taste it
and umm
smell it..
put a call into my dad
who told me that he'd been walking around his area of San Diego with a mask on for awhile...due to all the ash and the poor air quality from the fires..
don't know why it had never occurred to me to worry about dad with all that fire
but shit he was so far away...but then i forgot the cardinal rule
of judaism
if there is danger
sickness
horror
smoke
mishegash
mass kvetching
less than 100 miles away
immediately
have heart palpitations and protect yourself
oyy
if mom was alive
she probably woulda evacuated
i guess i do get just a little of my alarmist
moods from her
sooooo
Natch
im feeling guilty
(another jewish tradition)
about not checking in..
oy what a rotten daughter i am
first i have the nerve to leave home early
then i dont call
don't write
don't marry a nice Jewish boy
what a little demon i am
(heheheh)
on other news
i am officially
premenstral ( i know, i know, you could tell with all the bush bashing)
you may wish to warn
anyone
below 14th street in Manhattan
avoid
the psycho blonde bitch from hell
who is spitting fire
and farting gasoline
rrrrrrrrrrrr
and lastly in closing
may i just say

ARRRRRGGGGGGGGRRRRRRGRRRRRRRRROWWWWLLLLLLLLLL


meow
(hey i'm complicated)

Monday, November 10

gore, bush and arafat oh my

so when did this media recall of the florida vote happen
that proved al gore would have won the election
if a total recall had been allowed?
i missed this
just read about it
today on AOL news...
anyone have more info on this?
i mean i always knew it but didnt know it had been proven..
why is this not an outrage screamed about
all over the country?
honey at this point
even 3 years in
id say much as i think al gore is a rather
white piece of toast
characterless
without the slightest sign of
chutzpah
i do think that if he won the &^%$#* election
somebody should give him his job!
shit
you know
i hear so much about how this country
needs a cowboy
a tough guy
a killer instinct dude who will take no prisoners
to run the country
in this time of war..
but honeys
first of all
i want the president
we voted for
because if we cant have the president we voted
for
what's the point of voting...
that the big screw up occurred in florida
jeb bush
country
worries me all the more...
and yeah
im in a super horrified
by the baby bush
frame of mind
so yes
i of course
fully expect
to get yet another barrage
of rossi we hate you stuff
by folks
who simply can not tolerate opinions other than their own
but come on
you gotta admit
it is a little wacked to know that our president was not elected by us..
no matter where you stand...
of course im royally pissed at al gore
because he's doing a grand job
letting the world know
how frightening the baby bush's Big Brother
Patriot Act is
and yet Gore would not put himself in the firing range
by being a candidate..
i guess he was frightened by how high the baby bush's approval ratings were
and liked that he won once, even if it was stolen from him
and didn't want to lose the second time..
but shit
what we need a strong
big balled
charismatic
smart
democrat
to step up to the plate
here
and take this
little rich boy down
until then
we're gonna keep losing
our various freedoms
until one day
hey
maybe voting
will be something you only get to do
if you pass a test or two
or three..
im scared
ill say it again
and then ill move on
to something im even more scared about
which is this..

According to the BBC (and we've got to believe this because lord knows the BBC has not been a huge pal of Israel's)

Palestinian Authority funds go to militants!!
Yep,The Palestinian Authority, headed by the world's greatest two-faced con artist...your pal and mine...Yasser Arafat, is paying members of a Palestinian militant organisation which has been responsible for carrying out suicide attacks against Israeli soldiers and civilians.

Sure the little prick pretends to be a man of peace and anti-terror in the public eye
but behind the scenes it's exactly what the Israeli's have said all along...

According to the BBC, Arafat..here-after known as Arafuck.. sends a
total of up to $50,000 a month to members of the al-Aqsa Martyrs' Brigades, an armed group that emerged shortly after the outbreak of the current Palestinian intifada.

So this is the same little prick who cries poverty for his people..
and honey his people do need help..they need food, charity, money... electricity
all things FYI the Israelis give them...
but the grand leader the same one who keeps kabashing
any proper leadership
prefers to give away money that could offer
food
clothes
housing
medicine
to the needy
to terrorist suicide bombers
oh how nice

so listen
can someone please tell me
why this prick
is not exiled already
or thrown in jail
or blown to smithereens
he's just as bad
as saddam
or ben laden
as far as i can see
but with much better PR
am i the only one who sees this?!?

Saturday, November 8

can't we speak out against bush without getting kicked in the ....bush

well darlings
took quite the pummeling on micheles site today
see the small victory link dearies
because i am far too blonde today to type in the code
no the pummeling was not from michele
although hmm a little leather
and some mood music
and i would be happy to oblige to the great goddess of chutzpah
but it was in her comments section
you see
in the post where michele
says she will vote for bush and why
i added my comment
of why i dont like him
and more so
why he scares the %#^&^%# shit out of me
well honeys
that took on a slew of pro-bush
shut up rossi you stupid little blonde tart
sort of stuff
and i admit to you
i may have to go pick up my thesaurus
to fully understand just how slighted i was
so i signed off this am
feeling just how i felt when we went to war on Iraq
i was not anti-war
but i was so anti what happened to everyone who was anti war
here in nyc
anti war protestors
were treated as terrorist suspects
and held and interrogated
in some cases
until various human rights organizations got involved
the message was
to be anti-war
meant to be anti american
oh my god
didn't we learn anything from vietnam?
this is america!
we are supposed to speak out when something bothers us
i dont like our president
i have not from day one
he is not the president this country elected
he took our strong economy and pulled it into the toilet
he ruined all the world support we had after "911' within one year
his patriot act dabbles dangerously in the lessening and, or, removing
of some of our basic human rights
he handled Iraq so badly from a PR point of view
and from a world wide support point of view (redundant i guess)
that america now has less support world wide
then we have had in years
actually i dont remember a time in my life
that we have had less world wide support
do you?
im not saying we need to get the worlds permission to do the right thing
israel is a good example
im just saying that if there is a way to do it right
and to soften the blow
we should at least try to take it
clinton was great at that
yes he was a flatterer
but honey
he was the king of PR
and it worked well for us
i dont think everything bush does is wrong
i like that he supports israel
i like that he took out the taliban
i like that he wants democracy in the middle east
but over-all
i personally really do think he's a bad man
and i dont think hes a smart man
and thats a bad combo
but heres the thing
whenever i speak out against bush
i get such a heated backlash
i feel such blind rage
that sometimes
it makes me feel
(for a moment)
like keeping my mouth shut
i fight against it
of course
and i talk
or write anyway
but its hard
and it feels hard
and i feel often beaten down when i do it
and thats what frightens me most
that the climate in this country
is so intense
and patriotism
has morphed into
only-one-way-ism
that you can only speak your mind
if you are pro bush
pro-republican
this is so wrong
so to all those who adore bush
who support him un-conditionally
who will vote for him
and beg us all to do the same
i support you
and your right
to your own opinion
and your political leanings
and all i ask
is that you
do the same for me
--
and to andrea
i appreciate your softening the blow post this afternoon...
and while i dont agree with you
on most things along this subject line
i do recognize
a well read
eloquent writer
when i read one
(damn im sure i misspelled eloquent)
ah well

in closing
bush = bad
support for however the hell you feel about bush
= good

Thursday, November 6

Roe Vs Bush

oh higher power
who-ever you are...
i know you are up there
please look down on us and see what our president
george w. bush is doing to this country, to this world
and to us...american women...

please note that he has just taken the first step
to taking away a woman's freedom
and her doctor's freedom
of choice
in the case of abortion
regardless of whether or not it may save her life
regardless of whether or not she was raped
regardless of whether or not
she has severe emotional
and physical reasons why this can not continue

i beg of you oh higher power
please reach down
into this realm
and transform
the young son of the other bush
bush senior
also a real jack-ass as you may recall
please reach down
and transform young dubya
the baby boy
the not so bright
the slightly
well shall we say special...child
please transform him
into a woman
into a pregnant woman
into a pregnant woman
who was inpregnated by the brutal rape
of an HIV postive criminal
please inform the lady bush
that her baby and she are also HIV positive
please inform the lady bush
that giving birth
may be life threatening to her
and that her childs chances of not being severely damaged
are minimal
please then inform the lady bush
that according to a new law
our president is pushing thru
she can not abort
and no doctor will help her
then give her the phone number
for an illegal
back-waters doctor in Misssissippi
who might take her
in the back door
then send the lady bush to that doctor
let her see the blood on his apron
the un-clean utensils
the lack of a nurse
the lack of credentials on the wall
and as she lies down
about to face what could be her last moment on earth
whisper in her ear
you did this my dear
you did this when you were a man
and cared about as much for the rights of a woman
as you did for the gum under your right shoe

Wednesday, November 5

im bad at business

i have got to say
maybe im naiive
maybe im too trusting
maybe im too honest
maybe im too much of an old fashioned %$#^&* idiot
but when i do business with someone
i dont steal
i dont cheat
and i dont try to fuck them over..
of course i try to make a profit
im in business for crying out loud
but i make an honest profit!!

the fact that 90% of my business is as a wedding caterer
means i am holding possibly the most important day of someones
life and more than one person's life in my hands

it means all the more that i need to look into my heart
and find the kindest place in my soul
and from that place deal with my clients
who are quite often
annoying
high maintenance
challenging
un-appeciative
and sometimes just full on obnoxious as hell

i am holding their wedding in my hands
and this is a day that the bride, the groom the parents of bride and groom
and anyone else who loves them dearly will remember for the rest of their lives

so i take my job seriously
no one is harsher critic than i am
when food is deemed delicious
perfect beyond any expectation by all of the guests
i still scold my sous chefs for some fault i may find

my chefs also take their job seriously
they have been hired partially for their wonderful culinary skill
but mostly for their sense of honor
and loyalty
and deep caring for what they produce
we all put some love into the food
and my waiters
are hired not for their cheekbones
or for how tall or dark or handsome or pretty they are
but for their ability to be charming
courteous
hard working
and honest
so all that being said
i have to tell you that for some reason
lately
i have been victimized by the
un-ethical behavior of clients in a way that astounds me
i have catered a wedding from start to finish that was flawless
that was beautiful to the point that the bride, groom and family were
dumbfounded with awe
and then had the client stiff the entire staff
a very very large staff for their tip
these are the hard working
starving nyc waiters, bartenders and dishwashers
who survive on tips
the good kind
great staff who just made this wedding
a success
who are the reason these guests left so happy
and then
to decide when it is all over
to simply rip them off
to say thank you and fuck you
what decent human would do that?
honey
i dont know
but
this is the tip of the iceburg
of the kind of behavior i have seen of late
from people who presented themselves to me
as decent
honorable
folks
from people who give hugs and kisses when they goodbye
and
thank you
thank you for everything with such a look of gratitude
maybe they should be in show biz! great acting...i must say
great acting..
i am sitting here in a state of fury
and what are my options
to deny all the great people who work for me their tip?
or to lose all that money myself?
i guess you know that answer
im paying the tip out of my own pocket
and its a painful bite from this small business owner i can assure you
a very painful bite..
so whats the lesson
to trust less
be harsher
be more like other caterers in nyc
huge contract
no mercy
high volume mediocre quality
to become exactly what my clients say they hate
its tempting
i cant afford to get ripped off like this much more
i can tell you
and my heart cant afford
to put so much love into an event
and then be so severely screwed over
but then
i have to breathe
i have to breathe
and i have to try and remember
the good kind
people who still send me emails
years after i have catered their weddings thanking me
i have to think of them
of the young couples who send me postcards from their honeymoons
i have to think of them
of the parents who send me long letters of praise
i have to think of them
i have to try
try
try
not to become
like the few
the dis-honest
the un-ethical
the shallow
people who have done me harm
and done harm to my staff or tried to
because of my kindness, because of my trust
i have to try to not throw away my kindness and my trust
or i become just like them
and that would be the worst thing they could do to me
and the worst thing i could do to myself

Sunday, November 2

Israel..oh Israel

i'm catering a wedding next weekend
and the bride's mom had been hesitant to give me her final guest count
because, she explained "we have several guests coming from Israel and there are some expected attacks that will close the air ports."
I have heard nothing of this on the news
have you?
but you know terror in Israel has become so common place that i suspect much of it does not make the news..

I think of what it must be like to live in Israel to wonder if every day will be your last ..to wonder if the bus your father just took to work will take him to his grave
to wonder if a cup of coffee at a local cafe will be your final moment..

Israelis have somehow survived..against all odds
against far to few friends
against a world of anti-Semites
they have somehow survived
and here we are
the year 2003
the holocaust is a lifetime away
and it seems that no one has learned anything..

according to a poll done in Europe this October
of about 7,500 people from 15 countries...
Israel has been described as the top threat to world peace
ahead of north korea, afghanistan and iran...


The survey asked the question, 'tell me if in your opinion it presents or not a threat to peace in the world'. Israel was reportedly picked by 59 per cent of those interviewed.

then the survey was leaked (accidently???) to the press...

naturally this has sparked huge fury
and the crying out of blatant anti-semitism
by many human rights groups

and im sitting here
thinking of all these
europeans...
the children and grandchildren of nazis
the children and grandchildren of the victims of nazis
the children and grandchildren of countries occupied by nazis
the children and grandchildren of nazi allies
the children and grandchildren of enemies of the nazis

and im wondering
my god
haven't they learned anything?

this tiny little country has asked for nothing but peace
and survival
and to be left alone to
exist
that is it
and it has done nothing but defend itself
against terror
against murder
against annihilation
from day one

and now they sit there and call israel
a threat to world peace
a threat above
nations like Iran?? like North Korea??


if this is not anti-semitism
that i dont know what is..

does this world need to create another holocaust
to see this evil racism for what it is

in europe where israel has become a scapegoat
for the purging of anti-semitic violence, vandalism
and sentiment...does this not ring at least a little familiar
to the days when Hitler used the jews as a scapegoat to boost
the depressed german mood..?!?

i can not even believe that i am reading this crap
i can not even believe that it is
still out there
this filth
this evil
this hatred
this blind ignorance

how many murders must be committed before these people wake up
and see the blood on their hands
yes on their own hands because turning the other cheek
while someone is murdered, or beaten, or vandalized, or horrified, or terrorized
is just as bad as doing it yourself


i fear
i fear
i fear

for israel


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