|
Friday, October 31
New Memoirable
the goddess michele
of smallvictory
who i am clearly so in love with this week that GASP
i've even gotten off my lazy ass (my unusually attractive and firm lazy ass dears)
and typed in the ^%#$&** code..
for her site
yeah yeah thats love
anyway
she was asking for a real
a true
supernatural tale
so i've had this memoir
on my desk top for some time now
and have not had to courage to post it
because its so personally
and makes me feel so %$^&* vulnerable
that i've been well
scared shitless
but in honor of halloween
and the supernatural
and love that doesn't seem to want to die with the death of our bodies
i am going to post this piece on
memoirable
right now
i dont know if i will keep it up
cause
like i said its way personal
but for now
for today
here is
"Reunion"
wishing you love
in whatever realm you dwell in
happy halloween
oh FYI for my lovely luscious newbies
just coming over to rossi land
just reach up and click on Memoirable to read this
and other tales
and keep coming back
ill take all the company i can get
Thursday, October 30
sleep
the goddess michele of "small victory" see linkie love list
has got a great tribute to firefighters up that definately wont let you flip thru the photos of the California fires without feeling something for the heroes fighting against those flames again...
which got me to thinking
and pondering
and ranting
so here it comes
---
there are so many things we skim past in our daily lives
so much we miss out on
so much we don't feel, hear, see that really warrants our attention..
we see the images of the terrible california fires and once we have re-assured ourselves that we dont have property there and no one we know and love does, we simply move on..we skip over the brave men and women charging into those fires, risking their lives, sometimes losing their lives..we skip over the people who have lost their homes and maybe everything material they cared about..
and we turn to the next channel..
whats on there..
oh a little more violence in Iraq a few more soldiers wounded or killed..
we're not interested ..cause haven't you heard?? the war is over!!
this little piddly stuff, well its just not real news anymore
never mind the fact that soldiers are still over there getting killed
all the time..and that basically the shit is starting to look like Vietman with
sand...
so we flip the channel again..
its a busload of children, parents, tourists, commuters getting blown up
murdered, torn to pieces by a suicide bomber in israel
oh this happens every day...we say...that's not news...more death in israel
this does not affect us
this does not land on our front door..
and maybe while we are busily skimming over
all the news items that dont personally affect us
and just deleting them from our minds as soon as we turn the channel
maybe
there are wild flowers blooming from cracks in the sidewalks..
they push their way thru the cracks..how did they survive?
hey did they find the strength these tiny white and purple things to push open concrete...??
but we are late for work so we step on the flowers and keep going..
on the way to the "4" train a young homeless woman huddles outside a "Starbucks" she has a mangy mutt that looks to be half pitt bull curled up beside her, a dirty piece of cardboad sits on her lap, on it is written
"NEED MONEY TO FEED ME AND MY DOG"
maybe the dog gets your attention
but its too much work to fish for change
and you're late for work
so you rush past her..
you hear the train pulling in so you run past
the other commuters, weaving in and out of people
and just manage to shove yourself in the door before
it shuts
you made the train
you wont be late for work..
it will be okay
you have about 5 minutes of time strap hanging before your stop
you look up and stare at the plastic surgery advertisements
a little girl holding her moms hand
looks up at you
she smiles
you smile
but it doesnt feel real
and she senses it
and looks away
you look away too
one day
when you have time
you'll have a kid
or spend time with kids
or be a big sister
or a volunteer
or some such thing
but not now
and not anytime soon
you're busy
you've got things to do
everything else can wait
and then one day
when you're retired
the job is over
you've got the money in the bank
and the mortgage paid off
you wonder
what ever happened to those kids
what ever happened to your life
what ever happened to love
to joy
to wonder
to appreciation
to Israel??
but then you feel tired
and you're too tired to wonder
so you go to sleep
and you sleep
sleep
sleep
like you've been sleeping your whole life
Wednesday, October 29
howdy newbies
well darlins
this little blonde bimbette with attitude
simply must stop everything
and say a big ass hello
to all my new visitors
compliments of
the hot blog babes roll
over here
outsidethebeltway
and i also need to send a big smooch to the hot and sexy and talented
and brilliant and rather fashionable "Sheila' from "Red Headed Ramblings"
see my linkie love list dears..she so rocks...
thanks for the nomination miss mama
so now..
as an official
Blog Babe with sizzle
i feel i must live up to my name
or is it mane
and leave you with my scintillating costume details for Halloween..
you see in an effort to put together a killer Halloween costume without spending a dime, I raided my closet and my secret little pine chest with the relics of my
distant past and came up with..
black leather pants, leather biker jacket, studded leather collar,
big bad buckle belt with yes more studs..beat up ol biker boots,
pin that reads "BAD GIRLS NYC" and many other items..
after assembling my biker bimbo from hell outfit
i realized what in fact i had put together
was
yes
thats right
you guessed it
(or maybe read it a few posts back)
ME 15 years ago
hmm maybe 12 years ago too for the renaissance summer
yes dears
as classy and as elegant as i may now seem to you
in another life
i was a bad ass bitch
i know.. i know... hard to believe
that moi
of the smooth
velvety
serene calm
would have one day
walked the streets of NYC
in full leather
with white streaks
and a few pink ones in her hair
black liner that would make any goth girl
run and hide
but there you have it
i do in fact have
a bad ass past
now of course
im a pinacle of society
a roll model for all to uphold
a perfectly perfect
flawless
goody goody
who never curses
(FUCK YOU IF YOU DONT THINK SO)
who never parties
(woo wooo)
who never does anything roudy
(FIRST ONE TO DANCE ON THE BAR GETS THE JACK DANIELS!!)
and who never
ever
wears bad girl clothing
(except for safari wear, combat boots and 12 gauge earings)
but thats what Halloween is for isnt it
fantasy
pure
fantasy
so even though you all know me
as a sweet demure
quiet little bird
(NOOTTTTTTTT)
think of me this weekend as an Eagle
a big blonde bitch of an eagle
and i shall think of you all
very much the same
but with varying hair colors..
trick or treat?
hmmmm
which do you think is more tempting?
the trick
well that could lead to Huge Grant territory
the treat
too fattening
should be
trick, treat or treasure
ill go for the money
Tuesday, October 28
Revolution
listen dearies
i know it hasn't happened in 227 years
but i'm wondering how you'all would feel about
a revolution?!?
i mean shit, you've got to admit
it sure doesn't feel like the folks who are running this country
have their fingers on the pulse of us, the people
i mean when is the last time you felt like any one in politics
really gave a shit about you?
you think the baby bush cares about you?
right
only if you own a kazillion shares of a major oil company
and donate to the rebublican fund
but the dems aren't making me feel a whole lot more glorious as of late
they're so busy trying to just say anything thats the opposite of the baby bush camp
that im starting to wonder if they remember what they wanted to say from their own hearts
i havent heard my girl hillary clinton say anything inspiring since she got elected..
Come on Hill!!...at least stand up for the babes...!
I liked Senator Daniel Patrick Moynihan not only was he the grandfather of my goddaughter but he was the last great, honest, say it like he sees it politician.
He had class..
There's just no one like that anymore.
Well we've got Ah-nold...pump you up california..maybe he calls it like he sees it (I see women, lots and lots of women and powerbars and steroids and women, lots and lots of women)
but shit
lets face it nobody up there gives a rat's ass about us..
So let's have a revolution..
We can all wake up say..next Tuesday, not go to work, not pay our bills, not drive our car and just stay home...the whole %$#^&* country...could go on strike
it would be a revolution without guns, blood, death, war, NADA...
just a nation-wide sit-out..
Hell no we wont go to work...until we get some politicians from amongst our ranks
some hard working decent, honorable, humanitarian, open minded
non democract non republican hillbillys who just want to talk it up for all of us
yeah
man
WILLY NELSON FOR PRESIDENT!!
LEGALIZE MARIJUANA and give the money to the homeless
aww come on you gotta admit
all this partisan
crap
double agenda
secret bullshit
big money
ENRON loving
bull crap
is starting to really crawl up your wazoo
isnt it?!
tuesday
listen
im telling
tuesday
its a revolution
pass it on
stuff
hello dearies
just wanted to give you some updates
as to my LIFE
let's see the great Nancy formely of Jillmatrix.com
and now of Queerday is in town and we went out to din din last night
and I dragged her up and down avenue C in the pouring rain to show her
how many new places had opened up and how all the junkies have been replaced with yuppies..which im not 100% sure im happy about
then we had a lovely Latin dinner and chatted the night away
nancy is living proof that one
can really form a possible life long friendship
from the web..
she's been in my life for hmm over 4 years now
has been my editrix
and web mentor this whole time too
and its a grand thing
so thankee to the web for
introducing la matrix to moi
on other news
La C is in Provincetown
so im wife-less yet again
damn
i have to say
i spend more time being single
when im married
then i do when im single
and this blonde is lonely!!! boooo hoooooo
but dont cry for me
cause
im going to the gym
to lift weights
and make faces and scare
all the young heterosexual secretaries
out of their
adidas
lastly
well
halloween is coming up
which is La C's fave holiday
cause she loves the feeling of being incognito...
she plans on dressing up like a 16th century man
i plan on dressing up as myself 15 years ago
when i was a black leather bimbo
(long story some other time)
so we'll make quite the pair
ill keep you posted
ta da
for now
Sunday, October 26
appreciation
darlins let me tell you a little something
if you ever hire a caterer
and spend a year calling and emailing that caterer asking for advice
and menu changes
and then that caterer serves your guests a delicious meal that includes
rack of lamb that somehow!! still manages to be hot, rare and delicious even though your guests take ten times longer to sit down and eat then they should
and that caterer supplies you with great, polite waiters and bartenders who know exactly how to make a perfectly dry martini...
then for the love of god
take a moment out of your friggen life to walk up to the caterer and at least
say thank you..
sheeeesh..
is it too much to ask?
just had to say that
and now back to your regularly scheduled lives
FYI
the goddess Michele of "Small Victory" see linkie love list
has a post about finding herself stuck in the middle
politically
it's a great piece go read it
and honey
this is so how i have lived my life these last few years
pro israel
anti bush
pro choice
but not anti war on iraq
i feel like a freak!!!
but go read michele
cause she says it better
and longer
and deeper
and oooo
that sounded naughty didn't it?
Friday, October 24
love, hate and lamb
well im back in the trenches
this weeks
its a non traditional wedding
with a middle eastern/jewish/by way of lower east side Manhattan
fusion thing going on
my fabulous chef Miha is making his world famous Moroccan lamb
and my fabulous chef neil is making his world famous filet mignon
and im making my world famous salmon charmoulla
and when i say world famous
i mean
well manhattan
which pretty much is the same thing isnt it
im soooo modest
hahah
anyway
its nice food
on other news
after spending a few days with La C
i feel a little better prepared to face the world
all i need is love (everybody)
and with a little love under my belt (no pun intended)
and some sexy food in the works
i do feel like my old self a tad more than i have
as of late
as to the world
and my views?
well
i still hate bush
still hate arafat
still hate palestinian terrorists
still hate right wing conservative fundamentalist
still hate any kind of fundamentalist
still hate dick ENRON cheney
still hate mayor WE OF NEW YORK HATE YOU bloomberg
and i still
think
that hatred
can be a very
sensual thing
when properly seasoned
thats my story
and im sticking to it
Wednesday, October 22
nice nice lotsa nice
well love bugs
its been a nice few days over here in the lower east side of Ma-ha-an
as we say
La C and went to see Gina Gershon play a bitchy, sexy bisexual vixen (in other words play herself) in "Prey for Rock and Roll"
I highly recommend this movie not for its plot which at times was a tad...cliche'
and at times very cutting edge..
but for its hot sex, excellant rock scenes and mainly to watch Gina lick her lips..
and lick her lips
and pout
and lick her lips
and smoke
and lick her lips
and suck beer
and lick her lips
sigh
well
hey
im not always deep
give a girl a break
anyway
its been nice
to have La C around for a few days
she's been on the road so much
of late..
we've been like two, grunge mama's
buying leather (the upholstery kind not the naughty kind)
eating Cuban food minus the rice and beans and plantains
and yucca
she's on the Atkins diet
i'm on the how can I fit into my skin tight outfit by Halloween diet..
its been nice
so since i have GASP
NOTHING TO BITCH ABOUT (ALERT THE PRESS)
I shall shut up immediately..
Monday, October 20
Top ten ways you know you're turning into an old crow
ok so ill take a hint from david letterman here
and due to some recent events
id like to let loose with my own top ten
so here goes
top ten reasons you know you ain't a spring chicken anymore
10)- you're feeling hot and dizzy from too much work and too little food and your friend looks you straight in the face and says.."it may be early menopause" and then does not laugh...at all
9) young men with tattoos on the back of their necks open doors for you
8) you watch the John Travolta biography on T.V. and remember seeing "Grease" in the movie theatres...WHEN IT FIRST CAME OUT NOT FOR THE %$#^&(&*^& 25 year anniversary...
7) You actually find yourself saying..."when i was your age" to someone
6) You decide to not go see "Kill Bill" because you're afraid all the blood shed might give you heartburn.
5) You go to see Gina Gershon ( who woke up yesterday and decided to be a rock star) pout and strut and sing Patti Smith meets the pretenders via Joan Jett style music and think to yourself.."Not bad..but the music is too loud...can't they turn it down a notch.."
4) You go to a party and wind up sitting at a table talking to three men in their 80's all night long and find them absolutely enchanting... (FYI it turns out one of them is Tobias Shneebaum (spell?) who got famous for writing "keep the river to the right" about his experience living in the jungle of peru and actually eating human flesh...honey its not often you share sesame noodles with a canibal.. only in new york kids only in new york..
3) you watch a commercial for female lubrication in the golden years and instead of groaning and changing the channel..you find yourself wondering how much this shit costs...and...how long does it last?
2) you look at photos of yourself when you were young wild and crazy
and think..."aaah youth...."
1) given the choice between hot sex and a great nights sleep....you prefer hot sex but have to think about it for a second....or two....
and there you have it darlins...
don't worry i'm still a 30 something mama
just a well shall we say end of the end of the end of 30 something mama...
i figure i have about two weeks till my social security check comes in the mail
now where's my Geritol?
Friday, October 17
Staten Island Ferry and Things
I'm guessing all you non NYC folks have heard about the terrible
Staten Island Ferry crash..
Sheesh man..I've taken that Ferry ride many a time..for all those not in the know, The SI ferry is NYC's greatest secret that all tourists should know.. Instead of doling out a handful of money to ride on any of the floating tourist traps, you can ride the ferry for free..stand outside...say howdy to the Statue of Liberty.. then just come on back..
I've actually gotten out and GASP, visited Staten Island..
Personally I think they should honor the wish of many a Staten Islander and let them secede from NYC, because honey it's truly a whole different world over there.. Sort of "The Sopranos" meets "The Nanny"...I just did not have enough hair spray to stick around in Staten Island
But i digress as usual..
I was so horrified to see the images of the crash, hear about the 10 dead, 50 some odd people injured, many who lost their limbs..
The fact that it was the elderly or just those who could not run or react fast enough to escape the crash, made it all the more sad..
I imagined myself in that crash..
What would I have done in that split horrible second when I realized we were going to collide full force..?
Would I have run?
Stayed in shock?
Tried to help?
I have no idea...
I'm thinking about the captain of the ferry who ran off and tried to kill himself
Cant say I blame him.. honey he's better off dead than looking at the faces of families of all those killed..
You know darlings I don't know if I ever told you this, but in my former life
I was the head bartender of a party boat ferry called "The Andrew Fletcher" also worked on its sister boat called "The Dewitt Clinton." These party boats
took tourists and wall street yuppies, often 300 at a time on a cruise up and down the east river for about an an hour and a half.
I'd do oh sometimes 4 or 5 of these trips in a day or a night. The wildest were the Friday and Saturday Night rock&roll cruises. I always took the top deck and after everyone was drunk I'd have a nice quiet time to just let the wind take my hair and feel like I WAS QUEEN OF THE WORLD as we steamed back to our dock in the South Street Seaport..
there were things i loved about the job, money was good, being outside, being part of the community of folks who worked on boats in the seaport.. VERY different from the rest of the seas of people...the boat people are like a slice out of another century..a very cool slice...
things i hated were the conservative, christian right wing anti gay, anti-choice, racist attitude of all the guys in the blue suits with the nautical theme ties or yellow ties with black pocadots who owned or managed our boats..
ill tell you one day about how i dragged them off to the nice little human rights
arbitrator after busting them highly on a sexual orientation discrimination claim..
that was Nice honey...but im not sure if im allowed to go there or not so i wont
ill just tell you at the grand ol age of hmm 22, i became the norma ray of south street seaport gays..
i hated the deeply horrific wall street boys who would come on board drink huge oil cans of Fosters Lager
often puke, tip very little and always think they were so cool
honey no one is cool with puke on their tie
and who the hell keeps their ties on for a rock&roll cruise anyway?
but i digress yet again..
my point is
our captains, we had two of em
did two weeks on
two weeks off
when they were on
they worked all day
drank all night
dragged themself behind the wheel
when they were too hung over to walk..
red faced and stinking of Guiness they would take us out
yet again..
dan never crashed
he was seasoned
and hard core
he coulda drank a case of Guiness and then take us for a ride
his fave thing was to drive right towards people hanging out on docks and then turn at the last minute as they screamed..
dan was a rebel with a cause, but he never even scratched the boat
Vergil on the other hand
well he ran the boat a ground after only one bartles and james wine cooler
i never thought about how easily i could have died
there on the top deck
if either captain had hit the dock full force
honey i would have just flown over and landed in pieces..
i dont even want to think about it
i guess this whole Staten Island Ferry horror
got me thinking about how fragile life is
as if all the other things in this world
"911," la cubanas baby sister dieing, the terrorism in Israel,
weren't already getting me thinking about that
i'll just go back to what i've said all along
live today
don't put off anything for a rainy day
sometimes it just never rains
--
FYI darlings speaking of living life large
this little bimbolina
has got a whole new memoir up on memoirable
and it's all about tattoo love..so click on memoirable
and read "Deep Ink"
then let me know what you think
smoooches
Wednesday, October 15
Buy a Piece of Rossi
Hear Ye
Hear Ye
for all those who have always fantasized about owning a piece of Rossi
here is your chance..
I have got a painting in this huge art auction on November 9th.
Yeah, yeah ,maybe I'm not exactly the headliner..(they've got my piece coming up at the end when everyone is either asleep or broke) but still its very exciting!
Go here and scroll down to number 175 and then click on Rossi to see the painting.
outercapeartauctions
If you want to place an absentee bid you can call them at 508- 487-7281
or email them at ptownauction@aol.com
Then for the rest of your life you can say
"I Own Me a Piece of Rossi!"
woo hooo
Tuesday, October 14
the marriage song
Well love bugs our little baby bushie poo
is sponsoring his so-called "Marriage Protection Week"
to tout up the great sacred right of boys and girls to marry
and the evil satanic lack of right we girls who love girls
and boys who love boys have..to say I do...
So in answer to the ra ra raaa of ultra conservatives
and their homophobic anti gay marriage
CRAP
I'd like to sing this little song
(sung to the tune of old mc donald had a farm)
old man bush he had some kids
eyyaayyyy eyaaayyyy ohhhhh
and one of em was named george dubyaaaa
eyyya heeeeyyaa blowssss
and georgie dubya hated choice
bigga bigga brother
with a patriot act here
and an anti gay marriage week there
here a prick
there a hipocrit
everywhere a dickless idiot
its just a NUCULAR NUCULAR SHOWWWWWWWW
oh georgie pooo
you know what we queers say about
anyone who is just afraid of gayness
that hmmm
maybe it hits just a tad too close to
hooommmmoooo
hmmm
what were you doing in the locker room in college?
here a prick
there a hipocrit
everywhere a dickless idiot
heyyyaaaa heyyaaaa blowssssss
Monday, October 13
buffy blues
i must admit to you
however shallow this might seem
but i have felt a real void in my life since
Buffy the Vampire Slayer went off the air..
think about it...when since
"Dark Shadows"
has there been such an underground, word of mouth
deep rooted cult love for a show..??!!!
yeah, yeah there was star trek but that was more main stream
Dark Shadows
Buffy
these were shows that pulled at our dark side
but only Buffy had the great camp humor
and such insider jokes
like when Angel had Faith chained up
and she said she wasn't trying to really hurt Zander
(the strangling was you know a love thing)
and Angel said
oh right you just forgot your safe word
a real deal SM insider joke
that would go over the heads of most folks
i barely caught it myself
and the LOVE that dare not say its name that buffy shared with angel
or
the sm love that really, really dare not say its name because its more about animal attraction then cuddling that buffy and spike shared
the lesbian emergence of willow the mostly good witch
good until her lover is killed
and then willow becomes more powerful then everyone
except for the mostly weak and useless zander
who coaxes her off her killing mood
with love. love ..love (all you need is)
oh come on
the show was just
it was just IT
and now
on tuesdays
i feel a void
like the way you feel
when someone you adore has
moved out of the country
or the way you feel
when like me
you had to give up coffee
im drinking green tea
right now
and honey
its a big ASS cup chock full of
VOID
one little
blip on the horizon
one little perk
on my Sunday Nights
has come into play
and that is
"Carnivale"
which is as weird and dark and freaky as
"Twin Peaks" with the whole dust bowl era thing mixed
in and lots of naked breasts
course "Queer as Folk" will be back soon
and what dyke doesnt love
fantasizing that she is Brian or Justin
and we are promised
"the L word"
the lesbo "Queer as Folk" sometime soon
and
mostly
of course
we still have Angel
and Spike has been re-born
as a ghost
on Angel
and well
they at least talk about Buffy
"heard from buffy?"
"she's somewhere in europe i think.."
but ultimately
Buffy was a once in a lifetime show
the closest i ever came to that kind of
television addicton
was when I was a kid
and got hooked on Lindsay Wagner
as "The Bionic Woman"
hell i even drew her portrait and mailed it to her..
i was hmm 10 or 11 i think
and had no idea that years later i would
discover i was gay
at the time
all i knew was that
every wed night
at 8
i had to be at the tv
waiting for my bionic woman
and that night i would dream
about her bionics not working
and me saving her
me the little kid
who's mom dressed her badly
and was too chubby
too husky
too not what she was supposed to be
in a stuck up little town of conformists
but with the bionic woman
i was a hero
every night
anyway
i digress
my point
is
simply this
i miss buffy
sigh
Friday, October 10
bring the W down
well darlins
i can safely say
that yes
i have definatey had the blues
and i can also safely say
that yes
that round of lush
lovely
supportive
invigorating
comments
left on my last post
just perked this little gal
right on up
amazing what a compliment or two
or three
weee
can do to put the curl back in my blonde
woo hooo
hmm
maybe i should check into that bi-polar clinic
but i digress
just went to Cafecito yep the same place that i met
the fabulous and now quite skinny dave
from interrobang
see linkie love list dears
and yes
the same rendezvous
that still has the sensual and sexy
erica
from swirlspice
again
go to that linkie love list
shes worth it
jealous as hell!!
well anyway
i joined my downstairs neighbors amy
the OBGYN (is that how you spell it)
well you know she looks into womens ^%$& for a living
but she swears she's "Strickly Dickly"
hahah
love that!
and her roomate Ivan
the great comic book writer
and soon to be superstar
and his lady love Kristen
who looks better in a tight t-shirt than I do
but i like her anyway
anyway
we gobbled up
all kinds of Cuban delights
and no
not the one im dating
and we talked
talked
talked about politics
turns out NATCH!!
we all hate george bush junya
who knew?
but ivan had it right
when he said
that there just doesn't seem to be anyone
MAN enough
or wo-MAN enough
or charismatic enough to take that
NUCULAR dude down..
some are calling for Opra
being a jew from jersey
i find myself calling for Streisand
still in my heart
i know this country is not yet ready for a babe in office
much as Hillary seems to be the closest
so i say
let's take a hint from AHNOLD
and pick a Hollywood celeb to take Junya down
we cant afford this little prick anymore
87 billion today
another kazillion tomorrow
pretty soon the end of our right to choose
our right to not have our phones tapped
our right to not have our emails read
our right to not be living in a "big brother" world
we need a Manly
charismatic
famous
big ass stud
and we need him now..
"where's the beef?"
my vote
is for Clint Eastwood
Hey he's even got experience..He was the mayor of Carmel for a spell!!
"Go ahead make my dayyyy dubya..."
If you think Clint is too long in the tooth as they say then how bout letting me know your nomination...
come on darlins fill me in
who would you like to see
step up to the plate and take the 87 billion dollar man down!
I'm nominating Clint right here and now...but I'm open
I'm wideeeee open....
Thursday, October 9
cafeteria blues
you know sometimes when i write for this site
i have the feeling that enormous wafts of love
and feedback and support and delicious
praise are all around me
wrapping me up like in a warm blanket
and sometimes
well lately
i have the feeling
that im all alone
in space
writing this site
and no one is out there
and no one can hear me
like the tree falling in the forrest that no one hears
yeah
i check the site meter
and see that folks are coming by
but still theres that nagging void
like i'm the only one not picked on the class trip
what ive figured out is that even a kazillion years later
no matter how old you get really
if you took shit in grammar school
never mind the fact that you might have say
become a bad ass rock and roll pink haired
fuck you and die teen in high school
if you took shit in grammar school
if say
maybe once or twice you had no one to sit with
in the cafeteria
then honey that stays you with you
forevaaa
its the reason
i have so much attitude
the reason i leave them before they leave me
the reason
i walk like a truck driver with a huge penis
even though im a girl
its the reason
i work out
the reason
i hide behind my hair
the reason i dont get stage fright on radio
but do live
its the reason
im a totally freaked insecure
tart
and i need
lots
and lots
and lots
and lots
of love
sigh
well
now you know
Wednesday, October 8
Pump It Up
well i dragged my ass out of a coma
to pick up the nytimes
and see that Ah-hold
has won the governorship
honey
this is so surreal
seeing mr. "No Problemo"
"I will pump you up!"
with his toothy (scary) Kennedy bride
winning the governorship of California
i feel like i'm living in a Saturday Night Live
Spoof
and man
you know this is the jackpot for comedy writers everywhere
"what will your first duty as governor be sir?"
"to lower the fat content of the school lunch and make 50 push-ups mandatory by 7 am every day! California will pump you up!!"
i have to say even though Ah-nold is a Republican i was happy when he starting running and actually doing well. I thought it was a great slap in the face
to conventional politicians..a great way to let the old school know that America is fed up!
But i felt sad when Mr. Steroid who has spent most of his career barely clothed and posed in gay porno mags..took a stand against gay marriage..
Helloo!
It's called...people in glass gyms shouldn't throw barbels!!!
hmm that metaphor didn't quite work but you get the point.
anyway
even though I am horrified at his anti gay stance
and his questionable attitudes towards women
and his possible anti-semitic past
and the fact that i can't understand a word he is saying..
i still
scarily
think
he might just be
a huge improvement over what we've had in office of late..
perhaps the best thing about this
is simply
how truly frightened
and totally and completely shocked
the main stream political world is right now
what this means
is that no one is safe
in good ol boy politics
and
honey
if this leads
to the ouster of the baby bush
and all his "dude" brothers
in favor
of some
up-start
showboater
with little experience
but a whole lotta energy
than i'm all for it
86 the Bush family
and bring in
the Osborne family
i say
Ozzie for president
yeah
baby
wouldn't you love to hear that acceptance speech?
I'd like to thank the ^%#&* for the *&^%$
as president I will &^%$*(
all over this *&^%$*& country
hahha
pump it up
Tuesday, October 7
big ass din din
well kiddies
i just got in from doing a dinner for 775 people
yep
im not kidding
it was major darlins
775 eaters and i mean eaters
they were mostly from the mid-west so those chitlins could chow
i introduced a new concept i've just recently come up with
called the floating supper
little mini entrees on little bitty asian style trays
they're easy to chow on while you hold a drink in your hand
so we passed oh 2,000 of these
and oh something like hmmm 10,000 hors d'oeuvres
then cheryl crow sang for an hour
and then we passed oh hmm
3,000 or so pastries and another couple thousand cookies
yep
it was a big ass,
down home
pig out
of little itty bitty asian delights
and while im proud and happy and pleased
with how everything worked
out
im far more interested in the bed, the bath
and the beyond in sleep land
so i shall big thee all a good night
from the glamorous world
of a NYC catering wench
seeya
Sunday, October 5
stop the madness
in the passenger seat of a refrigerator van enroute to upstate New York
where i was catering a wedding in a tent, i noted that the pleasant weather had turned cold and rainy and lamented the fact that i had, just yesterday, come down with the flu..
sadly, i don't exactly have the kind of job you can call in sick for..
"um i'm so sorry i won't be there to cater your wedding...you see i have the flu.."
nope i've gone to work after surgery, with the flu, with every imaginable kind of ailment....not showing up is just not an option..
i even have a plan set forth where my chef and maitre d can carry on without me, should anything happen to me
when you're a wedding caterer, expecially in New York City
the name of the game is the show must go on..
so i sat there for the two hour drive into the mountains..
listening to the news on the radio..
and the announcer came on to tell me about the suicide bombing in israel
19 dead, 4 children, 55 people injured..
they were all enjoying a saturday afternoon meal in a restaurant owned and operated by israeli arabs..
just families..breaking the sabbath...in a non Jewish owned eatery..
having fun..enjoying the pleasant weather..
blown up by a suicide bomber
that it was a woman..somehow bothered me even more..
i don't know why, but there's this voice in my head that always think women should have more sense then men, not be so ruled by their egos and genitalia..
or is that the same thing..
but not this girl..no she was fully brainwashed by the Islamic Jihad and sent out to be a human bomb..
Oh the Islamic pricks took full responsibility fast enough..
sure they're proud...of this one..
a great score.. so many dead civilians and woo hooo children tooo
families blown up and blown apart, maimed destroyed
thats a real victory..
so now that what seemed to be a seriously strong peace effort
a path to really creating two nations
has been so severely crippled it may be permanently curtailed
i ask you
who is to blame?
the israelis who went to the peace table
time and time again
begging for an end to violence
or the Palestinian terrorists
who rewarded any vulnerability
any pull back of troops
any slight lessening of the guard
with murder
and destruction
i don't know what was more sad to me
thinking of those innocent lives taken and ruined
or that the news felt the bombing was the smaller story
compared to Roy of Seigfried and Roy getting attacked by one of his white tigers
not that isn't an interesting story mind you
one always wonders why 30 years later one of those tigers would act out
but honey
it certainly should not be the big story
next to
19 deaths
and 55 injured..
but i guess america
and other parts of the world
have become numb to the pain and suffering of israel
oh that's not news
they kill civilians over there every day..
what happened to roy??
and i even felt a sick part of my own heart
not jump the way it used to jump
not startle the way it used to startle
the part of my own heart
that just sighed and said
here we go again..
no
no
no
there is nothing dull about this
nothing to be glossed over
or pushed back to the back pages
we are watching right in front of us
the blatant murder
of innocent civilians
we are watching
a democracy who has always asked for peace
and survival
be rewarded by militants
who do not want peace
who regard peace as traitorism
who will only stop when they have taken all the land of israel
and murdered every jew in israel
and if that terrible day
should ever come...i hope to god i am dead
and don't see it
because that will be the day that surely
everything good and decent on this earth
is burnt and ruined
and that will be the day that these same
militant
love-less
bastards
turn their sights on you
you being any person..
who has watched this
and said
well they're not after me
so its not my problem
when murder happens in your front yard
even if your front yard is across an ocean or two
its always your problem
here we are
on the eve of Yom Kippur
the holiest day of the jewish religion
a day of fasting
a day of atonement
a day of repenting
a day of asking for forgiveness
a day of praying for a better future
and of letting go of the parts of the past
that need to be left behind
and it is on this holy holiday
that countless families in israel
will mourn their dead
will mourn their burns
and their missing limbs
will mourn their ruined lives
and will look up to the sky
and wonder
why
why why
i don't know why
but i know
this has to stop
and i know too
that every bit of compassion
that can be mustered up for the palestinian people
is being devoured and destroyed by their own
by the terrorists in their midst
so i say to them
as i have said in the past
do you really want peace?
do you really want a future for you and your family?
then rise up and stamp out the murderers amongst you
because it is you
it is you
in the end that they are murdering..
in the meanwhile
i will shed no tears for the palestinian cause
i'm too busy shedding tears for the children they have just blown up
Thursday, October 2
rush bush smush
so rush limbaugh is a racist
well surprise, surprise, surprise...
(i know you're all too young to remember jim neighbors but thats ok)
okay let me just do a george dubya imitation for a second here and say
duhhhhh
hello folks
why do people get surprised when a super prick like rush turns out to be racist?
of course it sucks
but i'm trying to figure out how anyone expected any better from that tub of hot air
and speaking of tubs of hot air
im just dying to see how the white house
buries this whole
exposing the cia agent's identity thing
cause her hubby said things that made the baby bush look bad
its a scary time in this country kids
and we've got a dude in the white house right now
who's breaking all the rules
and then ruining the lives of anyone who calls him on it
honey
this little blonde mamasita is
FRIGHTENED
for future reference
you may call me
Madame X
and my hair color is actually
black
and i have
um
a Slovakian accent
shhhh
you don't know me
ok?
Wednesday, October 1
the back to work blues
well its a mad dash business week
buying oh a thousand pounds of meat and fish
meeting clients
running to chinatown to buy a kazillion tiny little plates that look like leafs
you know
the usual
i was thinking about my month in provincetown this past summer
how wondrous it felt to wake up every day and paint
write for hours every night
walk the beach and ponder my thoughts
for one month i lived the life of a person
who truly eats, drinks, sleeps and lives in creativity
today
my manic business mode has set in
big time
and that month in ptown feels like its part of my distant past
but at least there are the paintings to look out
the 40 page long short story that feels like it wants to be a book
to read
at least there are remnants
im not saying
that im feeling sorry for myself
having to leave my artist side
and live in my business side
because my business side buys me the life
that lets me paint and write
and gives me the home to paint and write in
and gives me the security
to not feel afraid
and luckily
of course
my business life
entails making beautiful food
which sometimes feels as creative
and inspired
as a master painting
its just that
well
i dont feel like working today
then again
who does?
| 
