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Monday, June 30
new memoirable
hey lovies
ive got a whole new memoirable up right now
just reach over (come on you can do it) to the memoirable link
and click to read
my adventures in breakfast land
yes darlins
its all about moi
in the year 2,000
attempting to have breakfast in downtown manhattan
read on
yeah
thats right
im egg-ing you on
hahahahah
sorry
Sunday, June 29
Queerday.Com
i'd like to talk to you all about a hot new thing
something lush and exciting
intoxicating
illuminating
personal
and yet professional
hip
and yet
non-pretentious
no
im not talking about me
hmm or am I?
i am talking about what might seem like the love child of "Gawker" and "Planet Out"
a brand new web site dedicated to gay news
things of gay interest
travel
personals
you name it
called "Queer Day"
why do i know so much about this?
you ask
don't ya
because i happen to be great pals with the co-creator and editrix
my own editrix of several years and the web guru behind rossirant
nancy aka jillmatrix aka lamatrix
aka wonderwoman
nancy and her pal philo of "east west" fame
have created this site to be a one stop source for everything queer and lovely
i'm so damn proud of lamatrix i could just plotz
here i go again
im plotzing
plotzing
kvelling
oyyyy veyyy
anyway
if you're queer
you will want to read this
every day
and if you're straight you
will want to read this periodically
to know what we queers (the leaders in fashion, entertainment and etiquette) are thinking
so check it out
NOW
i have conveniently added the link for your pleasure
meanwhile
i love
love
love
that i get to announce this on
NYC gay pride day
how cool is that
lacubana and i are going to the Plaza darling to scare all the tourists and then its off to the parade
by the way
to all the folks who seem to have stopped reading my web site
because presumably
i've gone from being pro israel
NOT anti war
and pro blowing away every living terrorist
to being
Norma Gay Ray
i have this to say
in the words of the immortal
"michele" from small victory
(see link on the left..you know im way to laze to type in the code)
"fuck ya"!!!!!!
if i can't say whats on my mind
honestly
i should shut up and go home
im gonna keep on ranting
oh and a quick message to Strom Thurmond
thanks for dropping dead
you craggly old bastard
so glad you got to live long enough to hear about the reversal of the sodomy laws
Saturday, June 28
sing if you're glad to be human
its funny how the many parts of not exactly who we are
but what we are from
or what we believe in
or how we worship
or who we make love to
might not always be front in center in our identity
but put these things in conflict
attack these things
and suddenly we
are a walking waving flag from hell!
take moi for example
obviously i am jewish
hello, if you've read my site even for a few days you know i am a jewisha mama
but i wouldn't exactly say this was front and center for me
my jewishness sat in the background of my soul
waiting to season my life when called upon
( a little nosh my shana madelah)
but then the suicide bombers started
and the world sat up and displayed more blatant anti-semitism
than i could have imagined possible in this day and age
suddenly loving jerusalem
was called racism
suddenly wearing a star of david
meant a possible fist fight
or maybe even a loss of life
and my jewish soul reached out and took over my body
like a great screeching eagle
screee
screee
screeee
let my people go! (picture charleton heston in drag here ok? but no guns)
i've been a new yorker for 22 years
lived in this city during some of its worst years
high crime era in lousy hoods
race riots
homeless riots
you name it
surviving all that gave me a great sense of NYC pride
but i never really, really
got how much of a new yorker i truly was
then 19 bastards highjacked some planes
and two of them plowed into the world trade center
right in front of me
in my backyard
i watched the towers crumble from my roof top
my lower-east-side neighborhood became a war zone
of ventilation masks
police
armed guards
fighter jets
so many people were dead
so many tears
and i emerged
so proud of my motherfucking city that i couldnt even breathe
my new york pride pulsed so loudly that i could hear and think of nothing else
for a year
I wanted to bang on the garbage cans so loudly that the beat would rock my city on
I wanted to sing frank sinatra and bill joel new york songs and scream to the world how proud i was of this place
this concrete oasis
and evidently
i did
i'm gay
probably was since birth since i cant ever remember truly wanting or desiring a man ever...unless you count big bird from sesame street
but i did form some major attachments on women early on
even in the first grade
but being gay was never a big deal for me
i dated men
i dated women
i loved women
the boys did nada for moi
so i woke up when morning at the age of 18
and said
i'm gay
no big drama
no coming out story
all my pals pretty much said
"duh" when i told them
and i went about my life
my gayness also taking a back step
to my sense of self
i never wanted to be gay rossi
i always wanted to be rossi who just so happens to be gay
still do
but lately
with canada about to legalize gay marriage
and the anti-gay sodomy laws being finally
thank god !
reversed
my gayness is out loud
proud
celebrating
dancing in the street
whooping it up
i had no idea that deep inside id felt so
put out
by all this bias
i thought it just rolled off me
but the sense of relief i feel
about finally seeing
some real
validation
makes me want to fly all over this city
all over this country
and yell out to all
as i fly
that life is short
we are all people capable of love
and wonder
we are all equal
we are all beautiful
and we all deserve the same
basic human rights
oh hell what i can say
im a walking hallmark card
happy gay pride week NYC
happy
humanity world
la lallaaaaallalalallala lalalalalal
and oyyyy veyyyyy
awayyyyyyy
Thursday, June 26
Butt Out
OKAY I GOTTA SAY
RIGHT HERE AND NOW
THAT IM GONNA CAPITALIZE EVERY DAMN LETTER IN TODAY’S POST CAUSE IM SO HAPPY ABOUT THIS HISTORIC COURT RULING THAT I COULD JUST PLOTZ ALL OVER MYSELF
BUT I THINK ILL SING INSTEAD
ZIPPYDEEDOODAAAA
ZIPPYDEE GAYYYY
MY OH MY WHAT A WONDERFUL DAYYYYY
IT'S A PRIDE-FULL WEEK ALRIGHTY
FIRST OFF WE GOT SOME FABULOSITY IN TORONTO
WITH SAME SEX MARRIAGE
BUT NOW THIS
THE SUPREME COURT
TOLD TEXAS AND ALL OTHER ANTI-SODOMY, ANTI GAY YAHOOOS
TO BASICALLY
SHOVE IT UP THEIR ASS!!!
WOOOO HOOOO
TODAY THE SUPREMO COURTO REACHED OUT AND STRUCK DOWN A BAN ON GAY SEX, RULING THAT THE LAW WAS AN UNCONSTITUTIONAL VIOLATION OF PRIVACY
HEHEHEH
NOT ONLY THAT BUT THOSE DINASAURUS, PRICKEKUS FESTERING OLD REPUBLICANS IN THE SUPREMO COURTO ACTUALLY CLIMBED DOWN OFF THEIR HIGH HORSES (GASP) AND VOTED THIS SUCKER DOWN IN A 6 TO 3 RULING
THIS MEANS THAT THE LAW SOME IGNORAMOUS STATES STILL ACTUALLY HAD WHICH ENABLED THEM TO PUNISH HOMOSEXUALS IS OFFICIALLY REVERSED
REVERSED!!!
I KNOW
I KNOW
ITS HARD ( NO PUN INTENDED) TO BELIEVE THAT IN THIS DAY AND AGE
ANY STATE WOULD STILL HAVE LAWS AGAINST GAY ANAL SEX OR ANAL SEX OR ANAL GAY SEX OR SEX WITH AN ANUS WHATEVER
BUT SHIT
WHAT CAN YOU SAY
REDNECK IS AS REDNECK DOES SOMETIMES
THIS ALL CAME ABOUT WHEN TWO TEXAS BOYS WERE CAUGHT RIDING THE WILD PONY IN THE PRIVACY OF THEIR OWN HOME!
JOHN GEDDES LAWRENCE AND TYRON GARNER WERE EACH FINED $200 AND SPENT A NIGHT IN JAIL FOR THE MISDEMEANOR SEX CHARGE IN 1998.
THANK GOD THE TWO COWBOYS DECIDED TO TAKE THIS ALL THE WAY TO THE TOP!
NOW WONDER A HARD TOP IS GOOD TO FIND HUH BOYS…WINK WINK…
NOW THEN
NEED I SAY THAT BY SAYING ITS UNCONSTITUTIONAL TO DECLARE GAY SEX ILLEGAL THAT WOULD CERTAINLY LEAD THE WAY TO SAYING THAT IF GAY SEX IS LEGAL THAN GAY MARRIAGE SHOULD BE TOO
SO HELLO
THIS COULD BE THE BEGINNNG OF EVEN MORE GOOD STUFF
SO I TAKE MY HAT OFF TO THE TWO BRAVE TEXAN HORSEMEN
AND I TAKE MY HAT OFF TO THE SUPREME COURT TOO
HEY SUPREMES THIS DOES NOT MAKE UP FOR YOU PUTTING THE BABY BUSH IN THE BIG SEAT WHEN AL GORE WON THE ELECTION
AND IT CERTAINLY DOESN’T MAKE UP FOR YOU AND DIANNA ROSS BREAKING UP
BUT SHIT AND WAHOO
IT SURE IS A GREAT START
ZIPPADEEDOOODDAAAAA
ZIPPIDEEE HEY
IT SURE IS COOL TO BE GAY TODAY
OY VEY!
Wednesday, June 25
Provincetown Mass
so i just finished my spring wedding season
and have a nice chunk of time off before my fall wedding season
planning on spending two whole weeks in provincetown with la cubana
ah provincetown
a haven for artists and writers
a place to be out as gay
out as weird
out as wild
p-town is the birth of american theatre in the form of the Eugene O’Neill
also a big part of Tennessee Williams’s past
not to mention all the great artists that found inspiration there
Robert motherwell is at the top of my list here
but aside from the great cultural icons
there are also the
shall we say
cult-u-ral icons
like Divine who worked in town
and John Waters who also tended shop
Mr. Waters can still be found bicycling down commercial street with his little david niven moustache
norman mailer owns the only brick house in a long row of wooden commercial street homes
there's a ton of culture in provincetown
there are also
thousands of gay men in leather
some of whom
parade up and down commercial st
wearing little more than chaps
there are dykes from french canada
who come to town to drink as much beer as humanly possible
and get rowdyyyyyy
there are dykes from the rural mid-west
who are just so damn happy to be out in public holding their girlfriend's hand
that they never let her hand go
not even during dinner
there are the rich boston gay boys
the glamorous NYC lesbianos
and boat-loads (literally) of senior citizens who float into town on tours
oddly they never seem to have been told about the gay thing
they stare at the drag queens with wide be speckled eyes
but they keep coming back
they says its for the great whale watching
but i know its really for the drag queen sightings
you must not see a lot of 7 foot chers in connecticut
in the last several years
due to an influx of wealthy out-of-towners driving prices up
summer rents have gotten so high
that no struggling artist or writer can really afford p-town anymore
oh they try
they rent a 200 sq foot bungalow for 6,000 bucks for the summer season
share it with another peer who just sees their home as a place to sleep and shower
they’ll work 3 jobs to pay the rent
wash dishes at the fried fish place, wait tables at the café, dole out pizza at spiritus the rock&roll pizza hangout..they may have oh two or three hours off in which to find a lover
and then its back to work
money and greed
is causing provincetown to lose its luster
its becoming a quaint
boston suburb
its really only in the winter and fall that one can see the true blood of this town
the painters on the beach
the writers in the dunes
the bad boys in the bars
the baby dykes fresh out of college
falling in love with each other
I miss the ptown I met 12 years ago, when I lived in a tiny bungalow behind the grocery store, when I plugged in a small electric type-writer and started to write seriously for the first time, when the small but wonderful
"Provincetown Magazine" published my column and I snipped them out and mailed them to my mother who was so proud, so very proud, when I learned what it was like to be called sexy by lots of people who meant it and i felt sexy, truly sexy for the first time in my life
When I fell into infatuation, fell out of infatuation and lived to write about it.
When my neighbors were sculptors, quilt-artists, poets, singers, actors and we all adopted lost kittens…yes, I miss that p-town
i'll be spending two weeks in july
with la cubana
floating in the ocean
shopping
eating
walking along the bay
finding our souls
and searching for whats left of the soul of provincetown
i hope its still there
i hate to see butterflies
stamped out by greed
Tuesday, June 24
mantra mama
ok
im in my
will the world ever find me??
will the world ever let me have a book deal??
will the world ever throw the publishing industry at my feet
and say "dance on me baby!"
quarterly funk
twill pass
i need to repeat my mantra
over and over and over again
its not getting to the end of the road that counts
its always staying on the path
as long as you never leave the field
then you're always in the game
(not that sports metaphors work for me very well as the only sport i ever displayed any skill in was drunken pool and top-less volly-ball)
sigh
ok
maybe there's a future for me as a
self help guru?
on a lighter note
running my memoirables
on this site
has been wonderful for moi
because instead of them sitting round
growing cobwebs somewhere in my MAC
they're out here
being shared
by ya'all
and your feedback
has been fantabulous
so yes
yes
yes
ill keep plugging on
dragging fingers to keyboard
heart to screen
back-bone straight
face forward
diving once more
damn that water is cold
Monday, June 23
emerald pride
hey ya'all
go on over to emeraldpillows
i've got a fun gay pride piece up
and if you want to get the hard copy just email the empress of emerald pillows
and im sure she would love to add you to her subscriber list
always nice to support an up-and-coming lesbian zine i think
and as we well endowed babes know
support can be beautiful!
meanwhile
i'm getting into the spirit of gay pride
by taking advantage of the first bit of sun
and frying myself into sexiness
what can i say
tan is
as tan does
(and shut up if you're a dermatologist)
planning on dragging la cubana all over this damn city
pride hopping
look for us on the news
we'll be the two babes
with the "lick bush" ensembles
Sunday, June 22
sunday stuff
what i did on my rainy ass weekend
friday- spent the day making dressings and marinades for my wedding on sunday
friday night- went to an "oh so sophisticated" soiree in a killer loft in the village
where i nibbled on cheese (not on my diet) and sipped club soda with a little bit of white wine in it (not on my diet) and watched la cubana shmooze it up with an elderly couple and her dog (love watching la cubana socialize...she's smoooooth)..
saturday- spent the am with L.C.
the afternoon shopping for chicken liver for sundays wedding
saturday night
woo hooo
laura my little sister pal
invites me for free tickets to see michelle branch open for the dixie chicks
first time i ever loved the opening act even more than the act
but they were all great
great rocking babes
i never knew country could be so cool
think im a dixie/branch fan from now on
sunday
rain, rain, rain, rain
and im sipping green tea early grey (back on my diet)
psyching myself up to cook Russian Jewish food for 200
Mazeltov I say
now its off to kasha land
meanwhile
go over to memoirable
and click on
this week's new memoir
it's about
how completely
absolutely
and positively
normal i am
hahhahahahaha
heheheehhe
hahahahaha
hehehehehehhe
Friday, June 20
its raining skinny bitches
ok
im beginning to accept the possibility
that summer will not come until sometime in july
i mean holy shit
this is ridiculous
rain, rain rain
and yep
a little more rain
the kids from the projects have gotten so pent up
that they've been blowing off fire-crackers
for three nights in a row
i feel like im stuck in a perpetual forth of july that won't ever end
all the dogs in the hood
look pissed off or depressed
and honey
thats a little un-nerving
when half the dogs in the hood
are pit-bulls
most folks ive seen the last few days
have an expression on their face that
reads
"too bummed to boogie"
except of course for the yuppies
who have expressions that read
"6,000 bucks for that partial share of a quarter share in the hamptons and it's %$#@^& raining on my week!"
i never understood the whole hamptons trip
you spend 10 hours in traffic
to arrive to a house that you share with something between 4 and 16 people
who you may or may not know, all for the pleasure of going out to
completely pretentious nightclubs and restaurants filled with the same new yorkers
that people go on vacation to get away from
then of course there's the beach
which is a pose down
of who's who
does give you great opp to play "count the anorexic"
anyway
its safe to say i'm not a hamptons girl
every summer i go with my best pal tralena
and my god-daugher zora
to greenport
which is sorta the poor man's hamptons
or the wine country hamptons
or the tourist hamptons
or the leave-me alone im really a person hamptons
depending on you who you talk to
we stay on at a rustic (way rustic) 1970's motel with a private beach
and private deck that looks out over the private beach
and we barbecue hot dogs on tralena's little "george forman"
and drive into town to
eat fried fish at "Crabby Jerrys"
or walk around shopping in the quaint little town
you can find people in greenport who wouldn't dare show their face in southhampton
for starters you can find...GASP fat people..oh my god yes...although according to southhampton
fat would mean anyone more than 10 pounds overweight
which makes me FAT and fuck you
i love my body
la cubana said of the last anorexic babe that strolled past us racing to the jitney
(for those not in the know this is the bus that takes posers to the pose land of southhampton, bridgehamton etc)..
cubana watched the 90 pound 6 foot tall pseudo model trotting off with her designer weekend bag
and said
"ive seen better legs than that with notes attached to them"
gotta love my cubana
she appreciates a real woman
but i digress
what was i talking about?
oh yes
the rain
it sucks
Wednesday, June 18
hurray for canada
OH MY GOD
IS IT FINALLY HAPPENING??
I never thought I'd see the day when Canada CANADA
would be more advanced, more open-minded, more progressive, more hip, more trendy, more fabulous, more courageous and yes
more attractive than America
but today
i find myself wishing i was a Canadian
check these little excerpts from the New York Times
"TORONTO, June 17 — The Canadian cabinet approved a new national policy today to open marriage to gay couples, paving the way for Canada to become the third country to allow same-sex unions."
"The decision to redefine marriage in Canada to include unions between men and between women will immediately take effect in Ontario, Canada's most populous province. Last week, the province's highest court ruled that current federal marriage laws are discriminatory and therefore unconstitutional."
"The policy opens the way for same-sex couples from the United States and around the world to travel here to marry, since Canada has no marriage residency requirements. In addition, gay-rights advocates in the United States are already declaring that Canada will serve as a vivid example to Americans that same-sex marriage is workable and offers no challenge to traditional heterosexual family life."
can i just say wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
hoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
you know on the one hand
i just cant believe that in the year 2003
this is even an issue
i mean hello
we are all people
if you have half a brain
you know that same sex marriage has got be legal
i mean shit
inter-ratial marriange was illegal in some states in the U.S. even into the 70's
doesnt that sound outrageous to you now?
hopefully one day soon
you'll sit around saying
oh my god remember when gay marriage was illegal?
hurray for canada
maybe they can show some of the
backwards, ignorant, inbred pricks in this country how its done
hey baby bush
take a trip to toronto and get your head screwed on right!!
we're here
we're queer
and we demand the same rights
as the rest of you
gimme a C
gimme an A
gimme and N
gimme an A
gimme a D
dimme an A
what does it spell
courage!
let's here it again
pride
one more time
humanity
say it louder
LOVE
Tuesday, June 17
down into then
had something of an old downtown nyc night last night
old in a lot of ways
i walked down avenue D all the way to grand
while the hipsters and the trendoids and even the yuppies and frat boys
have already been devouring avenue C
avenue D seems frozen in time
pseudo toughie street kids scream out at young Puerto Rican women
in tight low jeans
with high heels and attitude
grandmothers haggle over socks from the sock vendor
and cart plantains and rice from the corner store
perhaps because it sits perched on the projects
it is oblivious to the gentrification of the east village
i felt as though i were walking thru alphabet city in the early 80's
i kinda liked it
once i crossed below houston
avenue D became columbia
i crossed delancey
(and always think of "crossing delancey" when i do this)
and watched the feel of the city town to old world jewish
whatever is left of that
then i entered lauren's complex
she lives in a co-op that until the last decade had been known
as "one of the old jewish lady co-ops of the lower-east-side"
it felt wonderful
like stepping back into 1940's yiddisha nyc
there was a beautiful courtyard with a fountain surrounded by old brick
buildings
lauren yelling out the window for me to come up
completed my transformation
yes..yes...
it was 1948, i'd just come in from the mother land
i was scared,but in this complex of safe brick and familiar language
all would be okay
i skipped the elevator and climbed the stairs to lauren's apartment
it was perfect
Lauren, thankfully, had not re-done the place
She’d left the bath-tub as was.. old and gorgeous with porcelain fixtures
She’d left the 1950’s esque oven and some of the pre-war fixtures..
Her place seemed to go forever, two then three bedrooms and living room
Long corridors….she said it was about 2 thousand feet which for NYC is like
A mansion..but it kept its old charm and most of the rooms looked out over that delicious courtyard
Lauren, an "OH SO hip" industrial designer had scattered about her modernistic pieces (rope chair, lamp of a thousand light bulbs, upside down mason jar shelf, keith harring art etc) but it somehow fit into the old charm of the place like a grandmother with a passion for polyester.
I loved it.
After I left L’s I walked under the bridge again..hmm let’s see I guess thatd be the Williamsburg. Bridge…what do I know Im blonde
And cut through the stretch of virtually unchanged neighborhood until I landed smack dab in the middle of hipster central..
the new lower-east-side.. Ludlow street.. the 42nd street of posers, poets, punks and preppies.
walked into “Collective Unconsciousness” for a fundraiser for an independent film about psychedelic mushrooms a neighbor of mine made, ran into Lisa who is 9 months pregnant, looked radiant and screamed you have to do this, you have to do this..
But after watching one lou reed sorta dude coo songs about playing scrabble with a woman you hate and then a trumpet player and finding out that a long line up of varied open mike sorta talent was coming up, I sneaked out..
walked up avenue A into mainstream tourist-ville..and said good-bye to the downtown city of yesteryear..
it felt good to visit for awhile to remember the city when I first saw it
And the city when my parents first saw it and what was left of the city my grandparents might have seen after their boat ride.. from hungary.
Time travel is perfect on a Monday night..
Sunday, June 15
new memoirable up
hey love bugs
im putting up this weeks
memoirable
just reach over (you can do it) to the right
and click on memoirable
this one is a funny little piece
about my sister "boom boom"
who is about as different from me
as say
alaska is to brooklyn
i call this little dandy "Miss New Jersey"
and trust me
this tale happened just like im telling it
why bother to be creative
when life is so outrageous
hope you like the read
and as always
id love to hear your feedback
smooches
on your tuchas
Hell Box Office
ok
i gotta say this out loud
i thought i was strong enough
to get HBO
that id be able to have HBO
and still write
paint
see my pals
have a life
but you know what
ive been addicted
oh my god
every night at 8pm
that thing sucks me in
for like 4 days in a row
its scary
ive got to set
boundaries
ive got to break this down
just a little at a time
maybe start by keeping the boob (not those kinds of boobs) tube off every other night
tonight
yes
yes
tonight
i will not turn on the TV
before 10pm (queer as folk on Showtime gotta see that i mean all dykes love fag porno its a well known fact)
i dont know what it is
but in the last couple years
my brain has been so busy
that the only that soothes it
is TV
not reading (too quiet)
not music (too musical)
i need the big box
and HBO
is the nail in my mental coffin
aaaakkk
help me please
i am powerless over HBO
sigh
ok
the sun is out
the sky is clear
the children are playing
ive got mood music playing
some island beat
very up
but mellow
like me
ill take a long walk thru the city
ill bring my notebook
ill go to a poetry slam
ill
ill
ill
stop looking at me
that big screen
its trying to suck me in
get away from me
im shutting the door
im not listening
i dont care
if sex in the city might on
or the sopranos
leave me alone
you HELL BOX
ok
ok
im counting steps
i am willing to admit that im powerless over HBO
i am willing to give this up to a higher power
that being hmm SHOWTIME?
ill start counting
err
hours
yes
yes
i can do this
i can
i can
hehehhehee
aaaaaaaaaa
Saturday, June 14
the wall
la cubana
tried to play devil's advocate with me today
taking the side of amnesty international
while i took the side
of fuck this shit
i said
im done with this hamas crap
and done with palestinians supporting hamas
she said
they say
they are victims too
they site attrocities by the israelis too
i say yes
there is horror in war
and no one is completely innocent
but israel does not target civilians
she said a little boy was just killed
i said by accident
not by an israeli blowing up a school bus
and back and forth we went
with her finally caving in and saying
she was pro israel
she just wanted me to understand
that there is good and bad on both sides
and i
of course
know that
but the big picture here
is that time and time and time again
israel goes to the peace table
and time and time and time again
gets peace shoved up their ass
and if israel were to do what amnesty
and europe
and the arab nations
want them to do
they would be dead
or exiled
or both
so let me just say here and now
that yes i know israel
has done bad things
and yes i know israel
is not completely innocent
and yes i know that israel
can make compromises
in the name of peace
and do more
and bend lower
but yes
i also know
that israel
is a democracy
a nation of
people who want peace
a nation of people who are victimized every day by terror
and a nation of people who have been cast out by the world
this is the last stop on the train
the train that left from nazi germany
this is the last stop
and this nation is not going to be pushed out
my answer to this
i do not believe that these two people can have true peace
i think there is too much hate
too much blood
too much damage
i think the answer is to give the palestinians their own country
put up a 50 foot wall
tell the palestinians to go in peace
and close the door to the wall
maybe after this generation grows old and dies
their children or their grandchildren
can have true comradery
until then
build the wall
and after there is a palestine
the world will realize that the arab nations who seemed to care about these people will no longer care because their use as martyr symbols will be over
hamas will be up shits creek because they will continue to try and kill jews and claim they want more
and will look like idiots
and israel
hopefully will finally be left alone
until
the next time
when a group of people raise their fists
and
give anti-semites a voice to weave their hatred into
and it will start up all over again
like it always does
lord
i hope that's a big ass wall
we're gonna need it
Thursday, June 12
why call it palestine, when murder world would be more on target
so..yesterday while i was recuperating from my nephew's visit
at least 16 innocent people were being murdered and countless more injured on a commuter bus in israel
i didn't discover this atrocity until this morning when i walked by a newspaper stand
the bloody little girl, the shattered bus, the body parts, the despair
it's all so familiar now
the murder of innocents
but today when i saw the headline
and stopped to read the story
i said in my head
"i'm done"
I AM DONE
i'm done caring about the plight of the palestinian people
i'm done worrying about what is PC and what is not
i'm done looking deeply for both sides of the story
putting aside my jewish soul to be open to the plight of the downtrodden
because you know what
quite simply
if the palestinian people can not rise up and fight against this endless terror and murder of women, children and innocents
than i will not rise up and fight for them
they have lost my concern
they have lost my effort to try
to care
to understand
they have lost it all
and they deserve nothing
because they will not raise their voices
their fists
even a finger
against this
against hamas
against terror
if a group of militants rose up in this country
and murdered innocents
children
school busses
Americans would rise up and stamp them out
israel is denounced every day, every hour, every minute
by arabs, by europeans, by moslems, by americans
even by israelis...
for targeting terrorists and militants
they are denounced for killing killers
can you imagine for one second
the world wide uproar if israel
were to start blowing up school buses?
think about it..
well it would never happen
but its interesting to think about the fact that when palestinians
kill innocents
they are called martyrs
they are heroes to the arabs
many left wing americans say things like "well you know they've had it so hard.."
but if an israeli did this
forget
it
the entire world including israel would stamp them out
why the difference?
try this one on for size
ANTI-SEMITISM
im so tired of this shit
i can't even breathe
today i had a long talk with an israeli acquaintance of mine who said she is waiting to see all the names before she relaxes
she worries that one of her family will be on that list
she said that when she is in israel she rides the bus
because she can't afford taxis
but she... like all the other israelis she knows
thinks about it
"which part of the bus should I sit in?"
"Will it be worse in the front, the back, the middle?"
"Where do i have the best chance of surviving?"
this is how israelis live their lives
now with possible peace on the horizon
Hamas is pissed
yes they are angry
why?
because quite simply
they don't want peace
they only want death
they only want jews blown to pieces
they think peace mongers
are traitors to the cause
and where
where are their neighbors?
their families?
their communities?
you know the ones we see on the news
demanding peace
justice
land
money
food
why are these people not
stamping out the murderers?
these killers of peace
why?
why is their no mass outcry against this from amongst the palestinians?
Here are the names of those we know about...who died from yesterdays horror
there are more names of people yet to be recognized by their DNA..
say them out loud with me...
Tamar Ben Eliyahu, 20, from Moshav Paran;
Alexander Kazrir, 77, from Jerusalem;
Ro'i Eliraz, 22 from Mevasseret Zion;
Tzipora Pasakovich, 54, from Tzur Hadassah;
Sultan Rene Malka, 67, from Jerusalem.
Alan Beer, 46, from Jerusalem;
Elza Cohen, 70, from Jerusalem;
Tzvika Cohen, 39, from Jerusalem;
Yaffa Mualem, 65, from Jerusalem;
Tita Martin, 75, from Jerusalem;
Ogenia Berman, 50, from Jerusalem;
Bet-El Ohana, 21, from Kiryat Ata;
Yaniv Abied, 22, from Herzliya; and
Anna Orgal, 55, from Jerusalem.
Zipora Levy, 70, from Jerusalem
in the name of these innocent souls
and their ruined families
I say now
Out loud
For all to hear
For all to judge
That
I’m done
I am done
If you have the answer
I’d like to hear it
We all would.
Wednesday, June 11
auntie Rossi mame
so my nephew who has just turned 19 was in town staying with me for a few days..
dru stays with me once a year usually in the summer and i always feel like its my god given right to de-redneck him in those few days before i send him back to north carolina
i'd love to say that i plan all kinds of great things for when he comes to town; theatre tickets, met games, dinner reservations..but the big ass problem with
dru is that his taste does a 360 degree turn between his visits
the last time he came to town all he cared about was basketball, rap and wrestling preferably at the same time...
so we wound up in this wrestle mania place where my brain got blown out by loud music and screaming testosterone freaks all for a hefty sum of cash
this time around he announced he wanted to be an actor
so we went to the discount theatre kiosk on broadway
i let him pick the tix and he opted for something neither one of us had ever heard of
called
"boobs"
i think dru thought it would be porno
i thought it would be a bette midler revival
turned out to be a mediocre cabaret act not on broadway but on the upper west side
in which mediocre cabaret singers performed semi dirty music
including such ditties as "you've gotta have boobs"
and "the best little dingy in the navy"with dingy really meaning dick
and lots of cross dressing
but it was entertaining so I was cool with it
but then dru dropped a nice big bomb on me
turns out my adorable little nephew who i rocked to sleep
and who i will always see in my mind as a toddler in diapers
now smokes, drinks and has used other illicit substances which he will not elaborate on
now i admit that when i was 19
i smoked
i drank
i did a few ( A LOT) other illicit substances too
lived on my own in brooklyn
and was a wild ass bitch from HELL….
but that was me
and this is him
him
my adorable little boy
my sweet darlin nephew
and he is NOT SUPPOSED TO GROW UP AND BOOZE, SMOKE AND TOKE!
he also decided to let me know that he is shall we say um sexually active
and active being the understatement of the century!!!!
oy fucking vey!!!!
ok ok
so i tried to remember that im supposed to be the cool aunt and all
the one he actually looks forward to seeing
but shit
this was a lot to digest
so i compromised…
i lectured him about smoking
and drugs and sex
but let him have a beer
that’s fair isn't it?
anyway
on his second day
we walked about a hundred blocks
passed by a kazillion stores that he thought
SUCKED
covered little italy
where he had some manicotti
which he said was
sorta OK
marched thru
soho- he thought rather boring
the village-ok cause there was a basketball game there
and druggies in the park to stare at
Chinatown-too much fish
etc
went home
changed
went out
ate more- hamburger for him..dru will only eat four things, hamburger, pizza, pasta and bagel with creamcheese…
and wound up at a Dangerfields
comedy club
now ive been living in nyc for 22 years and there a few things i have never ever done
one of them is go to a comedy club
(largely because no new yorker who’s not in the biz goes to these places...i was the only non tourist there)
and the other thing i have never done
is associate with someone who smokes menthols
dru!! salems for crying out loud!!
if you have to smoke
everyone knows menthol is for sissys
go marlboro or drop it
ok ok maybe a camel
but Salem’s??
anyway
mostly what i found out this trip
was how much dru hated most kinds of food
most kinds of entertainment
most kinds of people
most kinds of music
most things in TV
and everywhere he had ever lived
its hard to imagine one could become that dissatisfied with life at 19
i did discover that he really likes
comedians who talk about their genitals
beer
smoking in public
rap/rock (whatever that is)
nine inch nails...the kind you listen too i believe
and arizona ice tea
which means that by the time i see him again
and i have my fridge filled with ice tea
cds by this nail group piled on the table
tickets bought for andrew dice clay
etc
he will inform me that he has decided to embrace shakespeare
or um
reggae
who knows
sigh
i guess being a mom must be hard
i only do it for a few days a year
and im wooped
this old auntie is gonna take a long nap
wake me up next week
next time I’m gonna get sneakers with arch supports
or something
ok ok
yeah
I still want kids
But not today okay?
Not today.
----
Oh Hey Speaking of 360 degree turns
let me do one of my own right
now
i just need to send a shout out to Toronto
hey babies you did it
gay marriage in Toronto
way to go dudes!
woooo hoooooo
now all i have to do is trick la cubana into a little trip to canada for a little r&r and the ill slip her a mickey or whatever they call those things
and well get hitched
heheheheheh
hhehehehehe
i need a nap
really
really bad
Sunday, June 8
New Piece
Hey Darlins!
I'm putting a new piece up on memoirable.
Just reach over to the right and give a click to read it.
I really like this piece.
It pokes a little fun at my wacky childhood which...trust me on this...really was OUT THERE.
I won't tell you more, just go read it. It's called "Ramada Inn Makes Nice Soap."
fyi i think the hilton chain made better soap, but what do i know...i'm an ivory girl.
Saturday, June 7
mommy?
had something of an odd but excellent experience this week
my old pal lauren ( i mean old back to 8th grade old)
asked me to speak to her son's kindergarten class about what it's like to be a caterer
seems these lower-east-side kids are super progressive they're full swing into a culinary exploration that has already included a back room tour of burger king
who can compete with that?
i said
but they wanted me all the same
so i put on my little cheffy outfit
all black, black chef jacket natch ..i am a rebel after all
and i came up with some kid friendly dishes
cheese ravioli and sundried tomato dip
assorted veges and honey mustard dip
and i sat there on the low, low chair
with 17 6 year olds around me
and showed them how to assemble the veges and dip
and had my pal lauren pass around the ravioli
they loved the whole ravioli on a skewer trip
dip the thing in the dip
eat it put the skewer in the lemon
couldn't say a word till they were done with that
anyway
they asked a lot of questions
whats the weirdest thing i ever cooked?
what was the second weirdest thing i ever cooked?
how many ovens did i have
but the thing they all kept asking again and again
was who was my boss
who is the boss? ...I am
but who is the boss of you?... no one
but who is the owner?... i am
but who tells you what to do? I do...
this idea just couldn't register
it was amazing
i tried to figure out why they couldn't accept that i owned the business
and was the one in charge
was it because i am a woman?
was it because the idea of being the one in charge is too big to fathom at 6?
i still don't know why this was so perplexing and will probably have to have a conference with some moms to figure it out
maybe you can tell me
but the really amazing thing that happened was this one kid
who sat in the front row
who was a little younger then the rest
lauren said he was a premature baby and just hadn't quite caught up
they were leaving him back one year
while they other kids were clearly kids
he still retained his baby-hood
he said there wide-eyed and adorable
smiling right into my soul for my entire
presentation
i wanted to scoop him up
at the end of the class
and just run
he was so friggen adorable
i just wanted to be his mom
but of course
he's got a mom
lauren took me to lunch after the class to say thankee
and while we were walking she said
"you know rossi i can tell you're ready to have a kid'
i said..."funny you should say that, cause lately la cubana and i were tossing around the idea of adopting one day.."
she said, "you can just tell when someone is ready..they're open to children in a way that other people are closed.."
it was an interesting concept
and i guess it was true
i did feel open to those 17 cuties
even the one who stuck his hand up with a question every other second
even the one who tried to eat half the ravioli
i can't imagine trying to adopt now
a single gay mom
in a one bedroom apartment
but its a great thing to gravitate towards
get the two bedroom
try to become more financially secure
work out the kinks with la cubana to see if she can really be
a ...dad?
yeah... a dad
cause clearly
im the mama
i mean hello
i am so mama its scary
shit
having a kid would probably be the best thing i could do for my friends
since i mommy them all the time
and these two fat 15 year old cats
aren't going to last forever
i've had some practice with my nephew andrew
who i was mommy number two for on weekends in his early baby-hood years
and with my god-daughter zora
who i get to be mommy number two for
on birthdays and every summer for a few days in greenport long island
and every time i can in between
i know i cant do it alone
hey
im a selfish, crazy, hormonal, wack job
ill need all the help i can get
and i know working 15 hour kitchen shifts isn't gonna spread the peanut butter either
but its something to think about
now all i have to do is sit la cubana down
and make her sign a few documents
oh you know the one
in which she promises to
be there for this child for the next 30 years
and the one in which she promises to pay half the bills for the next 21 years
and the one in which she promises to wash the dishes and change the diapers
half the time for the next 21 years
and the one in which she promises to do all the tom-boy or boy things
but also all the manicure and frilly girl things
and leave me to do the in the middle things for the next 21 years
ok ok
i have issues
hey
im working out the kinks here
give me time
meanwhile
maybe i can just go back to that classroom and snag that little boy
no one would notice right?
we could just start a life together me and the kid
in say
tahiti
im sure it would be fine with his mom
don't ya think?
Thursday, June 5
this is a pain in the ark
it's been raining hard for days now
after having rained for a week with a brief sunny escape in which we thought
aaah finally summer and then the cold and gray came back again
ive had my heat on for crying out loud and its june already
rain rain rain
im starting to feel like noah
ive got the two cats
and with la cubana makes two women
now ill need two men..ok ok ill take spike from buffy the vampire slayer
and brad pitt (what can i say im a sucker for pretty blondes)
okay now i need hmm two rock stars...ok hmm give me cortney love and
hmm peter gabriel
now ill need two writers thats easy...ill take maya angelou and then ill resurrent
Tennessee Williams from the grave
hey its my wish list ill resurrect if i have to
oh shit if we're resurrecting then i want to switch brad pitt for Rudolph valentino
aww hell
im not noah
i cant even bang in a nail
let alone build an ark
i tried to build an ark once
i was hmm oh about 7 and had the made the decision that i was going to leave my family..so i went in the backyard and took all the new wood my dad had bought to build a shed or some such thing and i went back there every day after school and hammered them together until id built what i thought was a killer raft
my plan was to drag this monstrosity the half mile to the beach, pull it into the ocean and sail away from my family
but I got busted by dad
man was he pissed
sheeesh I’d never seen fire come out of a person before
I was like sent to my room for a millennium
Then I switched to plan B which entailed stealing his travelers checks so I could escape first class rather than huckleberry style
You might say I had a dysfunctional childhood..
But back to the rain..
i dont know if this is a global warming thing
or a god is mad at us thing
or a we're just an unlucky group of losers thing
or a the north-east needed some water thing
or a there was a half price sale on water in the sky thing
but damn
this just isnt funny anymore
even my cats are getting depressed and they're house cats
i went back to work on an old self portrait that turned into a bad version of dorian gray in reverse
and after working on it thru the night in this cold dark sad weather
i turned it into a portrait of a dead lady floating under water with white sea-weed in her hair
actually
i kinda like it
i think im gonna call it
rain drop
anyway
im gonna close my eyes now
and pretend the sun is out
and the birds are singing
and the the world is smiling
and some big bad butch built the damn ark for me
and put in room service and
cheesy las vegas style lounge acts
and an open bar
while they were at it
Tuesday, June 3
soldier's girl
I just saw "Soldier's Girl" the true story of the soldier Barry Winchell and his transgender lover Calpernia.
I was blown away.
What a beautiful movie.
and what i liked most about it was that rather than take on the political stuff of "don't ask, don't tell" rather than dwell on the murder of Barry Winchell, the movie focused on the love story between barry and calpernia..
and focusing on their love made the message all the more powerful..
I was simply just knocked out
i guess its been something of a transgender week for me because i just saw for the first time "normal" which also blew me away..
course anything with jessica lange in it is bound to thrill me but thats a side point
anyway the thing these two movies also did
was make me feel grateful for what ive got
im lucky that i was born in the body i wanted to keep
however much ive wanted to shape and mold it until it fit into a size or two smaller jeans
im lucky that i can walk into a bar and not worry about being beaten or harrassed for the way i look
yeah being gay is still not always a picnic
there is prejudice
plenty of places that i can't hold my woman's hand without fear of reprisal
and lord knows we can't get married
but at least i can walk down the street without fear of getting the shit kicked out of me
is there anything braver in the world than a transgender person?
anyway
ive got my own prejudices
and i admit when a transgender dyke in a bar hits on me
i still feel like im being hit on by a man
yep i've got my stuff to deal with on this
but im working on it
i am
and recognizing it
is a good start i think
as to my life-long prejudice against
men
who go out to dinner in jogging suits with three gold chains around their neck
i guess i'll never shake that
sorry
but thats just tacky
by the way darlins
while we're on the subject of transgender
....
i am so thrilled that the evil queen of home improvements
MR. martha stewart
is finally having a bad case of her karma catching up with her
they say leona helmsley is the queen of mean but
im pretty sure martha could take her crown away
i've heard nothing but bad things about this blonde bimbo
from day one
she treats everyone around her like dirt
and now she's getting dumped on
hurray
i say
hurrah
sorry martha fans
but thats my story and im sticking to it
Monday, June 2
New Memoir
Hey Darlins!
The second installment of memoirable is up!
Check it out.
It's just a light airy piece about a temporary obsession I had some years back with buying something at the Jackie O auction.
Just click on memoirable to read it.
Send some feedback my way if you're so inclined.
If not....that's very MOIST too!
hehehhehe
Adios
Sunday, June 1
Red Sugar In My Mawning
can i just take a moment here
to say i really dig this chick
killer site
and great CHUTZPA
MWWWAAA
that was moi kissing the tuchas of
redsugarmuse
now then
hang on lemme wipe off my mouth
from all that smooching
ok
you may have noticed that lately i seem to be posting a lot more often
i dont know what that is
you know i set this up with LA MATRIX (jillmatrix see link)
to be a way for me to write my dream column
a weekly column that i only got to do
in one lil itty bitty paper that no one read
and one big giant paper that no one read
it was a dream column ( think fran leibowitz on acid)
in which i could rant and ramble and rave and pontificate
on everything in life that bothered me
natch there weren't a lot of mags lined up to offer me this
damn it
where are the 70's when you need em?
but what better platform for a big mouth like mine
that the wild world of web
hellooo bloogggger
anyway
i ranted for a week and...
then 911 came along
and my platform turned into a source of salvation
and after the dust settled
it became a place to make sense of war
of terrorism
of anti-semitism
of the dimwits in the world who don't give a hoot about saving israel
but lately
yeah
just lately
its starting to come around
come back to the place in my head
from which i used to speak
a few years back before
lower manhattan was blown up
and im feeling something like joy in my heart
bitchiness in my soul
sex in my ...well never mind
passion in my mind
and man
thats just the perfect blend for a rant and rave stew
hence
i seem to have a lot to say
a lot more often
although i admit
i really for some reason just cant deal with
punctuation and capitalization
and um
occasionally spelling
or complete sentences
or complete thoughts
hmmmm
what was i talking about??
oh yeah
about why im kvetching more often
hey while my lips are still moist
can i also do a mass butt kissing for all the great
feedback
and support you'all have been giving the
first piece in my memoirable series
i love it
i love it
i dooooooooooooooooo
thankee
from the bottom of my bottom
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