Monday, March 31
did you see the "rudy" movie last night starring james woods?
i thought it did a very good job of capturing this man that new yorkers like myself have had a love hate relationship with
i live on a block that rudy transformed from a heroin block into a block the osmonds could live on
i remember high crime nyc
i remember when thompkins square park could not be walked through without fear
i remember wondering if david dinkins had ever really taken over as mayor at all or if his only job was to be an african american who got elected as mayor
i remember carrying pepper spray with me wherever i went
i remember having burglar alarms on my windows
i remember being hassled every time i walked through times square
rudy fixed all that
he cleaned up new york
no doubt about it
but he also threw the baby out with the bathwater
where are our neighborhoods?
the sleaze element that also had a right to be a part of the spice of time square?
where are all the independent book stores?
i have watched my beloved west village where i lived for 12 years
in the east village
if you had asked me what i thought of rudy guiliani on sept 10th 2001
and rudy came out of the dust
in the movie, the actual footage of the burning and collapsing towers on september 11th
but it was the images of the towers before september 11th
they are gone
the other night i was walking with my friend debby
only in the movies
if you had asked me on september 10th
but on september 12th
Saturday, March 29
had a terrible thought the other day
"911" might not have happened if not for the Monica Lewinsky scandal
Yes, I'll say it again...if we hadn't totally blown the last two years of President Clintons term by mercilessly plaguing him with scandal, he might have been able to be let's say oh...10 times more effective
i know from the Times cover story awhile back that the taliban and the alchaida (spell) where on his list of agenda items
but oh some things happened like
so guess what?
it got pushed off to the next president
you don't believe me
how many more people would be alive?
when all that crap was hurled at clinton
who cares where he puts his pickle
i only cared about he ran the country
i don't give a rats..ass
i only care is he doing his job
what do you think would happen to the world
i guess it's too bad for clinton that he didn't attack saddam hussein
do you think we've learned anything from this?
yeah that would do it
we go in there
kinda like in israel
you want to keep the civilians in your country
Wednesday, March 26
Farewell to a great man.
Senator Daniel Patrick Moynihan died today.
I only met the man twice.
The two times I met him were wonderful.
I found him to be immensely eccentric, charming and really very boyish despite his great height and white hair.
He stood out to me as a lone warrior, an honest, decent, brave political figure, stoically going against the tide.
He was not afraid to voice his mind however popular or unpopular that opinion might be.
The first time I met him, he made me laugh, his impossibly tall figure bent over me, while I almost literally hand fed him a piece of cheese. I was standing next to one of the most powerful political figures in the senate and I had to fight the urge to cuddle him.
The second time I met him again he was disarmingly sweet, vulnerable and kind.
I know that he must have been a tough man, to have survived all those years in the senate and to have served under all those presidents.
I know perhaps he might not have always been the easiest man to like.
But I am sure he was the easiest man to love.
He was, simply put, a great man.
How many great people do we really meet in this day and age, especially in politics?
My heart goes out to his family, some of whom are my family.
I would say that I hope this sleeping giant has gone on to a better place, but I have no doubt that he has.
You will be missed.
Tuesday, March 25
i guess you've been watching the news every day like the rest of us
certainly the good will that the anti-war protestors have been trying to muster up
but something else has changed
our safe, distant perch
most of us probably thought this was going to be a quick show of fire-works
it seems clear that our government thought that
now there are dead americans
now there is blood on the television
i didn't watch the oscars
it was a cushy hospital
some things really are better in new jersey
has anyone in the history of man ever read the whole sunday times?
i read the current events about the war updates
i heard about the oscars the next day from my best pal tray
she told me about michael moore's controversial speech
i guess what i would tell michael
the oscars are not the time or the place to do this crap
it's a free country
sunday was a turning point in this war
we will win this war
i saw the clip of the soldiers trying to comfort the
i know we are taking out a dictator who might one day
i do wish there had been another way
Saturday, March 22
watching the news these last few weeks
i don't remember much about the vietnam war
i was 8 when it ended certainly old enough to have been affected
i do remember being taught somehow that the news was for grown-ups
i remember nixon
i did feel during the vietnam era
there were a lot of things like that in my childhood
but now as an adult
i can't say that knowing would have bettered my life
it's kinda the same with the vietnam war
so here i am again
i haven't been able to take a stand against it
but why now?
what is the hidden agenda?
and are we better off not knowing?
being an American today
we're given partial stories
i for one
i want to be un-plugged
Wednesday, March 19
we are now...officially
i can't say with any certainty what was right or wrong here
i only know that the time to be anti-war
we are in it
regardless of how we feel
i only hope the war will be short
i pray for my city...new york city...to not be struck again
but most of all i pray that saddam hussein
and sent to the same hell
like kenny g (sorry a little war humor bad taste)
Monday, March 17
we're at war
and i'm looking at the empire state building
but as we know
september 11th was a light airy crisp perfect morning
light airy days
saying it out loud
here's hoping that peace, serenity
Saturday, March 15
i've been thinking a lot about the new york city i met when i moved here in 1981
i guess it's safe to say that in 1981, i had the worst possible vantage point of nyc
i arrived just shy of my 17th birthday to live in a neighborhood where i was the only non-chasidic white person out of a police uniform for as far as the eye could see
the chasids considered me a bewildering project of sorts
i was jewish so there was some chance of bringing me into the fold
made if fairly apparent that i wasn't going to be covering up my head, donning conservative attire and marrying a long bearded rabbi anytime soon
the jamaican drug dealers eyed me with concern as first
probably the worst thing to contend with at that time
when i walked off the 2 train after a night shift
i moved to manhattan in the early 80's into a hotel apartment in the now defunct
the 200 square foot rooms had private baths and i hooked up a hot plate and coffee machine on the window sill
compared to where i had been manhattan seemed like the emerald city
compared to today
i remember carrying mase or pepper spray attached to my key chain
giving the look to anyone who looked at me that read
i learned what it was like to come home to a burglured apartment
to be gay bashed
but all that was small stuff
what i loved was the gritty, in your face, fuck you all
the east village where i live now was a war zone there
i remember the riots when they forced the homeless who lived in Tompkins square park to move out
i remember cutting through a police barricade to open a bullet ridden door to get into my kitchen and remove the food i needed to cater someoneís wedding despite the fact that the club where i cooked had had a major gang shooting the night before
i found another kitchen soon after trust me
there was rough stuff then
and new york city is cleaner now
i wonder if we didn't throw the baby out with the bath water
the artists and the writers have been pushed out
now they sprinkle around in fort greene
and i can walk up and down avenue c at midnight
i love being safe
but i miss the brother hood
that was the only good thing to emerge from "911"
and now that nyc's economy is in a slump
i wonder what will the next journey of this city be
would be nice if some of those artists and writers could come back
would be nice if people who made less than a 100 grand a year could afford to live here again
i hate crime too
but damn i have to say
haven't seen a punk rocker with mohawk in weeks now
Wednesday, March 12
people who are leaving the bodega as i am entering but insist on pulling the door shut behind them
my cat at 5:00 AM demanding to be fed in a voice so high pitched it makes michael jackson sound like a baritone
my upstairs neighbor who i have named "big foot" who clumps around his apartment at 2 AM..sounding like an elephant in platform heels
the clients who leave a message and one hour later before i've even had a chance to play my messages, call back again...and act pissed off that i haven't returned their call yet
the artsy fartsy intellectuals who think zionism equals racism
the fact that electric cars were invented many, many years ago and no one NO ONE drives them or pushes the production of them and therefore we keep killing the environment and remaining dependant on scumbags like saudi arabia
that male actors can play leading rolls and be called sex symbols well into their late 60's even 70's (sean connery, clint eastwood, paul newman)
trying to surf the web and use AOL at the same time on my %$#&* IMAC which neglected to mention that it's not compatible with AOL so my computer freezes up all the friggin time...
Laura Bush (I' m sorry but she's so Stepford its scary man)
the kazillion re-runs Buffy the Vampire Slayer subjected us too
that this may be the last season of buffy...wonder why? to many re-runs anyone?
that i got rejected from 15 publishers who liked my writing but said they could not in these economic times publish the work of an unknown HELLO HOW THE HELL ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO GET KNOWN FOR CRYING OUT LOUD???!!
that i would have an excellant chance of finding someone to publish my book for big ass bucks if i had sex with a major celebrity and then narked on them
pigs in a blanket
coffee substitutes that taste like sock lint
that gay marriage is not legal (hello? isn't this ridiculous already...we're here..we're queer...get over yourself!!)
that i had nothing to write today except a long list of all the things that make me go AAAAK
Monday, March 10
i'm an opinionated mama
When i was 27 someone started talking to me about gertrude stein and i had to admit that i had no idea who she was although i'd heard the name bantered about
instead i decided to toss my "street-kid made good" tag and went back to college to get my BA in writing in modern literature
i am proud to tell you...i now know fully...who gertrude stein was and quite honestly i can't stand her..athough i adore alice b. toklas (well she was a killer cook)..
so here i am again
i've tried to read everything i find on understanding israel
israel has been defending itself
and israel has not done
it has not become annihilated
to help in the annihilation of the jews of israel
this much i do know
as much as i do know that moslem fundamentalist leaders preach in the mosques
and for the murder of americans who assist israel
so i will keep reading
but in my heart
in every generation
this is the year 2,003...how absurd to think in this modern educated world
didn't the murder of 6 million jews teach anything
i've often wondered what the world would have been like
if america had gotten into the war sooner
how many countless millions of babies would have been born from those 6 million jews
i was not yet born when this happened
but as a child i promised myself that if the winds of anti-semitism ever wafted through the air again...and something deep inside myself sensed that this kind of hatred was brewing again
i would not sit still
i went to spain
i don't have the answers
why is it that when israel is attacked
but when it defends itself
why is it that arab nations
why is it that the first bomb saddam hussein will most likely send
that israelis now carry gas masks everywhere they go?
why is it that no one seems to remember that in the war
israel was fighting for its very existence?
why is it that everyone has forgotten that barak
i wasn't born the last time this kind of crap filled the air like floating cancer
i know enough to call it like i see it
I know enough to know that there is only one thing that would truly appease
Saturday, March 8
speaking of bush
trust me it's a whole new spin on things and you may want to bring the KY
ok so yeah i saw president bush's press conference
because he is such an arrogant little prick
bush only works on script
i don't know who is
the wizard of oz
but i just want those damn curtains to open
"THE GREAT AND POWERFUL OZ!!!!"
and then just when we thought
the great and powerful oz
drum roll here
ok so yeah
the whole family just a bunch of spoiled rich yahoos bathing in oil money
but the problem is
i hate saddam hussein more
I've had it out for his ass since
so listen here i am
who has taken a bit of a bend in the road
and i'm saying to the anti-protestors
what is your suggestion?
to let him be?
to leave him to his own devices??
go along now little saddam
what will you say when september 11th happens
in san francisco?
if you don't want to force him to disarm
then what is your suggestion?
i'd like to hear it
i'd like to hear something productive here
because peace at all costs
is exactly what i have against this tyrant
Tuesday, March 4
since the suicide bombing in Israel started
i've been feeling completely confused about who i am politically
my life used to be simple
but then the liberal democrats started bashing israel
then the liberal democrats were asking me to march in anti-war protests
on the one hand
on the other hand...what would have happened if gore won (well if he won and they let him be president, i mean he did win) the election
would he have walked over to the taliban and offered them some tofu
i mean when it was time to take out the taliban i felt glad to have a war monger in the white house...this was a time for cowboys
and when arafat started his bullshit...i like that bush told him to shut the fuck up
but the thing that's starting to scare me
because "sleepers" amongst us...hijacked some planes and tore away our hearts our virginity and our sense of security...now this government is trying to take away our privacy too
maybe it comes from reading "1984" in my formative years, but that scares the shit out of me
yes...detain terrorists...detain them till hell freezes over...
i don't know where the fine line is between protecting us from terror
a gal at the gym told me about "the new york city bill of rights defense campaign"
i'm torn about a lot of things in this war
i don't know what the answers are here
defend me from terrorists
i guess...i should assume that it's possible that someone in the government is reading this right now and starting a file on me
if so... remember to get it right
i'm a downtown new york city bitch
and 100% all american girl
Sunday, March 2
so i've just had my first experience trying to cater a wedding
why don't i just tell you about the easy day
take in delivery of 60 pounds of filet mignon, 50 pounds of mahi-mahi, 20 pounds of chicken cutlet, 50lbs of beef neck bones, 6lbs of sushi tuna
drink glass of water, watch miha drinking a cup of coffee and feel a need to rip the coffee out of his hands while screaming
ask miha to roast the bones for stock
marinate 20 pounds of chicken cutlet in rosemary, thyme and garlic
make garlic oil for pasta
make calamara olive tapenade
have meeting with a perspective bride and groom
like, "well i've got lots to do.....umm...well gotta get back to the grind stone...umm it's a big day today...in the kitchen..."
consider pulling the fire alarm
brides and grooms tend to be a bit self involved...it goes with the territory
have staff meal
pull out bottle of 10 more vitamins and suppliments to take
supervise equadorian dishwasher on how to cut zuccini and not have it look
watch miha clean filet mignon and notice the sexual way he holds the long piece of meat..make note get a therapist
take in delivery of miniature empanadas from the empanada king
finally finish the suppliments
watch neil make 4 quarts of chocolate amaretto sauce
help clean up kitchen
hop a car service into manhattan with neil and miha
Saturday, March 1
sorry for the last post appearing twice
what can i say
but here it is again
(see upper left to link)
i was able to read a transcript
amazing how these great journalists
but at least fidel isn't exactly mass murdering his own people
love the part where he suddenly seemed to know english
and what about him announcing that he did not lose the gulf war
now as to his request to the president of america
um...this is not an election campaign
this is a possible war against
what is this a penis thing?
first of all ...we all know the baby bush can not hold his own
so maybe saddam thinks he can save his country by outsmarting bush in a debate
the real issue here
would you have a debate with Mussolini
what scares me about all this humanizing of saddam
itís the separating of saddam from his actions
he is riding the wave of anti-war sentiment to set himself up
and yet the only reason, war is on the horizon is because of him violating
if he doesnít want war
Stop grandstanding as this ALLAH loving man of the people
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