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Monday, March 31
rudy
did you see the "rudy" movie last night starring james woods?
i did
i thought it did a very good job of capturing this man that new yorkers like myself have had a love hate relationship with
i live on a block that rudy transformed from a heroin block into a block the osmonds could live on
i remember high crime nyc
i remember when union square park, might as well have been named needle park except there already was a needle park
i remember when thompkins square park could not be walked through without fear
i remember wondering if david dinkins had ever really taken over as mayor at all or if his only job was to be an african american who got elected as mayor
i remember carrying pepper spray with me wherever i went
i remember having burglar alarms on my windows
i remember being hassled every time i walked through times square
rudy fixed all that
he cleaned up new york
no doubt about it
but he also threw the baby out with the bathwater
where are our neighborhoods?
our mom&pop stores?
the sleaze element that also had a right to be a part of the spice of time square?
where are all the independent book stores?
where have all the artists and writers gone?
i have watched my beloved west village where i lived for 12 years
be transformed into hollywood boulevard
and trust fund alley
i moved out because i was tired of being the only one on my block who worked for living
i was in the west village recently
i coulda sworn i was in beverly hills
in the east village
my home
i have loved watching the pushing out of drug dealers and crime
but with them have come the high rents
the pushing out of pink haired pioneers, painters, poets
musicians...
if you had asked me what i thought of rudy guiliani on sept 10th 2001
i would have said, i hated him, but loved what the job he did on crime
then came september 11th
the worst day imaginable
and rudy came out of the dust
with the same hard-nosed tough guy strength he'd always had
but we could see he was fighting back tears
he went to countless funerals
he hugged people
he rallied us on
he made us feel proud of ourselves and him
he became
our rudy
in the movie, the actual footage of the burning and collapsing towers on september 11th
brought me to tears
i was taken back to that terrible morning
to the terror and horror i felt in my very soul
but it was the images of the towers before september 11th
just a part of the nyc skyline with their thousands of lights
that really got to me
they are gone
the other night i was walking with my friend debby
talking about the war
and i said you know it still gets to me
if you had asked me on september 10th
if i thought two planes could down the world trade center
i would have said only in the movies
only in the movies
its preposterous
it really is
even now it seems impossible
even now
i sometimes expect to see them
if you had asked me on september 10th
if i would vote for rudy again
i would have said i'd like to see a democrat back in office
new york belongs to democrats
but on september 12th
i wanted no one else but this man
this ugly tough guy who refused to let us
feel beaten
our rudy
Saturday, March 29
the big cigar
had a terrible thought the other day
"911" might not have happened if not for the Monica Lewinsky scandal
Yes, I'll say it again...if we hadn't totally blown the last two years of President Clintons term by mercilessly plaguing him with scandal, he might have been able to be let's say oh...10 times more effective
i know from the Times cover story awhile back that the taliban and the alchaida (spell) where on his list of agenda items
but oh some things happened like
his life being ruined
him being impeached
him hiding from walls of press
that kinda made it hard for him to function
so guess what?
it got pushed off to the next president
and the FBI chief that was rallying for this agenda item
left the FBI got a job running security for the world trade center
and promptly, new on the job was killed on "911"
you don't believe me
call up Time magazine and get their old issue
it was out fall of 2,001 I believe
anyway
so i'm saying to myself
self,
how different would the world be today
if we hadn't practically lynched
the best president we've had since kennedy?
how many more people would be alive?
and yeah
it's certainly possible that "911" might have happened anyway
but really, no matter how you look at it
that man would have been able to kick a whole helluvah lot more ass
if he'd been left to do his job
when all that crap was hurled at clinton
it was one of the few times
i felt embarrassed to be an american
who cares where he puts his pickle
or his cigar
or whatever ??!!
i only cared about he ran the country
i don't give a rats..ass
where bush puts his cigar
although quite honestly the place he's supposed to be putting it
seems about as inviting as wall of salt covered ice
i only care is he doing his job
and if it came out that his cigar was being puffed by some little twinky out there
what do you think would happen to the world
if we stopped everything to spend all our media and energy
condemning him?
i guess it's too bad for clinton that he didn't attack saddam hussein
or the taliban
might have smoothed things out with the monica scandal
do you think we've learned anything from this?
nah
as soon as the war is over
and the media runs out of front page news
they'll find somebody to lynch
probably won't be bush
he's got too much republican power
all over the damn place
nah
they’ll probably find a nice democrat to lynch
someone respected
possible presidential candidate with a chance
yeah that would do it
or better yet
wait till he wins
then ruin his term
yeah, yeah
that’s the way to go
idiots
**
oh and by the way
just a quick aside here,
has anyone noticed that iraq
is using the fact that american and british troops have gone out of their way
to avoid kiling civilians by disguising themselves as civilians?
yeah' you've all noticed that right
well so why haven't any of the anti-war protestors noticed that?
we go in there
practically shoot ourselves in the butt trying not to harm
civilians
and the irag troops
say "oh cool"
this is a great way to kill the infidels
so they disguise as civilians
end result?
well natch
soldiers are going to start second guessing civilians now
and there will be more civilian casualties won't there?
and who would be to blame for that?
kinda like in israel
my close friend who served 4 years in the israeli army told me
palestinian terrorists would often use old women
or even childred to carry weapons and bombs (or to be bombs)
so when the israeli troops had to start suspecting these people
worrying about them
searching them
protecting themselves against them
treating them as the enemy
the palestinians denounced them as
women killers
children killers
who was really to blame for that?
you want to keep the civilians in your country
the women,
the children safe
then stop masquerading as them
or using them as human bombs
idiots
Wednesday, March 26
a giant sleeps tonight
Farewell to a great man.
Senator Daniel Patrick Moynihan died today.
I only met the man twice.
The two times I met him were wonderful.
I found him to be immensely eccentric, charming and really very boyish despite his great height and white hair.
He stood out to me as a lone warrior, an honest, decent, brave political figure, stoically going against the tide.
He was not afraid to voice his mind however popular or unpopular that opinion might be.
The first time I met him, he made me laugh, his impossibly tall figure bent over me, while I almost literally hand fed him a piece of cheese. I was standing next to one of the most powerful political figures in the senate and I had to fight the urge to cuddle him.
The second time I met him again he was disarmingly sweet, vulnerable and kind.
I know that he must have been a tough man, to have survived all those years in the senate and to have served under all those presidents.
I know perhaps he might not have always been the easiest man to like.
But I am sure he was the easiest man to love.
He was, simply put, a great man.
How many great people do we really meet in this day and age, especially in politics?
My heart goes out to his family, some of whom are my family.
I would say that I hope this sleeping giant has gone on to a better place, but I have no doubt that he has.
Good-bye sir.
You will be missed.
Tuesday, March 25
not so pretty anymore
i guess you've been watching the news every day like the rest of us
then you noticed the change on sunday when suddenly it went from
these distant, hazy (almost pretty) explosions over bagdad
to our soldiers being killed and taken as prisoner
our executed soldiers on film
our soldiers taken prisoner being interrogated on film
certainly the good will that the anti-war protestors have been trying to muster up
for Iraq..has been dampened by this behavior
but something else has changed
our safe, distant perch
most of us probably thought this was going to be a quick show of fire-works
and then a mass surrender
it seems clear that our government thought that
now there are dead americans
dead brits
P.O.W.s
now there is blood on the television
i didn't watch the oscars
and no, it's not because i made a stand against them
it's because i was sitting in the waiting room
in a hospital while my girlfriend
visited her sister who had taken a bad fall
it was a cushy hospital
felt more like a hotel to tell you the truth
not at all like the
rows of drunken home-less people
stabbed drug dealers
and senile old folks
that had graced the corridors the last time
i'd been in a hospital
some things really are better in new jersey
anyway
the security guard gave me a sunday times
and i laid it out on a couch
in front of the fireplace
(i'm serious here..there was fireplace in the lobby of this hospital!!)
and read the whole damn paper
has anyone in the history of man ever read the whole sunday times?
i read the current events about the war updates
i read the fine print about how it's affecting us at home
i read the real estate section to see how the economy in nyc
is affecting real estate prices
i heard about the oscars the next day from my best pal tray
to tell the truth, i'd completely forgotten them
she told me about michael moore's controversial speech
then i saw a clip of it on the news
i guess what i would tell michael
if given the chance is this
the oscars are not the time or the place to do this crap
i can tolerate the light stuff, the susan sarandon stuff
hold up your peace sign
or make some PC statement while thanking your family
it's a free country
but on a day when our guys were being captured and killed
somehow shaming them
on a television show that people all the over the world
including troops at war, are watching
seems pretty lousy
then again
like i said it's a free country
and we are free to think he was a jerk to do this
or not
sunday was a turning point in this war
it's not exciting
or cool
we are no longer seeing those "high fives"
and smiling soldiers
we will win this war
and take out a regime that
is evil personified
but when we do win
it will be hard to celebrate
looking at all the bodies and ruined lives in the mix
i saw the clip of the soldiers trying to comfort the
burnt Iraqie little girl who had been severely injured in the attacks
they reached out to her
to pet her
she looked lost and ruined
i know we are taking out a dictator who might one day
see to the rape, murder, torture, or oppression of that little girl
or someone in her family
but still
it was hard to look at her
i do wish there had been another way
i do hope this ends soon
i do hope we did the right thing
i hope
the discovery of russia selling iraq weapons
france turning their cold, (anti-semitic) shoulder on us
turkey saying no
arab countries burning american flags
north korean jazzing up their nukes
will not be the beginning of a larger war
a world wide war
a war that no one will ever walk away from smiling
feeling innocent again
Saturday, March 22
the truth the whole truth
watching the news these last few weeks
has been giving me a huge deja vus
and i'm not talking about a deja vus for 911
or the gulf war although that's certainly there
i'm talking about a major deja vus for my childhood
i don't remember much about the vietnam war
i was 8 when it ended certainly old enough to have been affected
i do remember being taught somehow that the news was for grown-ups
not for kids
i remember nixon
and i remember thinking he was the only president i would ever know
because he seemed to be around for so much of my beginning childhood
i did feel during the vietnam era
that there was something going on outside my world that i was not supposed to know about
there were a lot of things like that in my childhood
when my parents had trouble with each other
when they decided to keep separate bedrooms
on separate floors in the house
i had the sense that there was something in my world that wasn't
well kosher...but it was kept at bay
it was kept out of my reality
my parents never did split up
they stayed together until death do them part
but now as an adult
i can look back and know that their marriage
was not an easy, loving, romantic one
it was not any of the things i would hope to have in my own
and yet we, the kids, were protected from knowing this
i can't say that knowing would have bettered my life
i might have been even more neurotic
or less
it's kinda the same with the vietnam war
i was vaguely aware of it knocking on the perimeters
of my childhood
i knew there was something dark and bloody out there
but it never got in
so here i am again
watching the war on the news
seeing the explosions
for months i've known that no matter what the U.N. said
no matter what the inspectors did
no matter what allies rallied around us
we were going to war
i haven't been able to take a stand against it
because one thing i do know
is that saddam hussein is a monster
if for no other reason that the liberation of his people
he has to go
but why now?
why today?
why with such a fury?
why not 12 years ago when we risked the lives of so many of our own
to push him back?
what is the hidden agenda?
what is the terrible dark thing knocking just outside our horizon that
we don't know about it
and are we better off not knowing?
being an American today
reminds me a lot of being a child
we're given partial stories
geered to inspire us to patriotism
to rage
to support of our parental government
but we can feel
knocking..off in the hazy distance
the real truths
wanting to be heard
i for one
would like to take the risk of what all this knowledge might do to my pshyche
and hear the whole truths
then again
i saw "the matrix" three times
i want to be un-plugged
Wednesday, March 19
now
okay
so can i be the first (or hundred millionth) to officially say
that the time to be confused about whether or not to go to war (as i have been), the time to be anti-war as many of you have been...
is over
we are now...officially
at war
i can't say with any certainty what was right or wrong here
i can't say with any certainty how best this could have been handled
i only know that the time to be anti-war
the time to be anti-american
the time to be anti-military
is over
we are in it
regardless of how we feel
we have to stand together
i only hope the war will be short
the death toll small
that terrorism will NOT be triggered by this war
and sent out towards israel
or america
or our allies
i pray for my city...new york city...to not be struck again
i pray that innocent lives are not lost
but most of all i pray that saddam hussein
is taken out once and for all
removed from his evil throne
and sent to the same hell
reserved for monsters like
hitler
like arafat
like mussolini
like ben laden
like kenny g (sorry a little war humor bad taste)
anyway
here we go
Monday, March 17
Sigh
okay
i'll say it
i'm scared
we're at war
and i'm looking at the empire state building
and praying in my head
that this great beautiful lady will still be standing when this is all over
it's a gorgeous day
this cold terrible winter in NYC has been broken by a light airy sunny day
but as we know
september 11th was a light airy crisp perfect morning
light airy days
and war
don't mix well
it seems
so yep
i'm scared
saying it out loud
don't care who knows it
here's hoping that peace, serenity
equality
freedom
liberty
and goodness
rules
when the smoke has settled
meanwhile
i'm dusting off my ground zero hard hat
and my ventilation mask
just in case
here's hoping
everything works out okay
Saturday, March 15
new york new york
i've been thinking a lot about the new york city i met when i moved here in 1981
and the new york city today
i guess it's safe to say that in 1981, i had the worst possible vantage point of nyc
because i was moved, or shall i say sent..to live in crown heights brooklyn
i arrived just shy of my 17th birthday to live in a neighborhood where i was the only non-chasidic white person out of a police uniform for as far as the eye could see
the chasids considered me a bewildering project of sorts
i was jewish so there was some chance of bringing me into the fold
but my pink hair, safari pants and motorcycle boots
made if fairly apparent that i wasn't going to be covering up my head, donning conservative attire and marrying a long bearded rabbi anytime soon
the jamaican drug dealers eyed me with concern as first
then when they figured out i wasn't some sort of undercover nark
they just figured either i was crazy or down and out
and let me be
probably the worst thing to contend with at that time
were the wild dogs that came out at night
when i walked off the 2 train after a night shift
selling the new york times over the phone (god help me)
it was the dogs i had to watch out for
i moved to manhattan in the early 80's into a hotel apartment in the now defunct
george washington hotel which was on 23rd and lex
the 200 square foot rooms had private baths and i hooked up a hot plate and coffee machine on the window sill
for 400 bucks a month i had my own place in manhattan
compared to where i had been manhattan seemed like the emerald city
all glamour and ritz
compared to today
manhattan was in its high crime glory
i remember carrying mase or pepper spray attached to my key chain
giving the look to anyone who looked at me that read
i’m crazy and i have razor blades'
i learned what it was like to come home to a burglured apartment
to be followed on the subway
to have a street gang throw rocks at me
to be gay bashed
but all that was small stuff
what i loved was the gritty, in your face, fuck you all
we are powerful thing that new yorkers got to feel
after going through all that
the east village where i live now was a war zone there
i remember the riots when they forced the homeless who lived in Tompkins square park to move out
i remember cutting through a police barricade to open a bullet ridden door to get into my kitchen and remove the food i needed to cater someone’s wedding despite the fact that the club where i cooked had had a major gang shooting the night before
i found another kitchen soon after trust me
there was rough stuff then
grime, crime, poverty
all kinds of shit
and new york city is cleaner now
safer
richer
more upstanding
but when i walk through times square and the image i'd seen for years
of sex clubs and transients
has been exchanged for something that looks like a cross between disney land
and boston
i wonder if we didn't throw the baby out with the bath water
the artists and the writers have been pushed out
they got shoved all the way to avenue c
now they can't afford the 3,000 rents
they went to williamsburg..it was only one stop away on the L train
then the yuppies followed in search of hip-dome
they pushed them further
now they sprinkle around in fort greene
in red hook
in prospect heights
even my old stomping ground of crown heights
is being gentrified
and i can walk up and down avenue c at midnight
and feel like i'm as safe as if its 12 noon
i love being safe
love not carrying the mase
or keys wrapped around my fist
but i miss the brother hood
the hip-dom
the coolness
the we are in this shit together
thing of funky old nyc
that was the only good thing to emerge from "911"
that sort of re-emergence of brother and sisterhood
and now that nyc's economy is in a slump
i wonder what will the next journey of this city be
would be nice if some of those artists and writers could come back
would be nice if not everyone on avenue b
on the weekends
was from new jersey or long island
would be nice if people who made less than a 100 grand a year could afford to live here again
anyway
however it comes
i love this city
i hate crime too
but damn i have to say
i am missing the new york in new york city
haven't seen a punk rocker with mohawk in weeks now
Wednesday, March 12
things that make me go AAAAKKKKKK
people who are leaving the bodega as i am entering but insist on pulling the door shut behind them
my cat at 5:00 AM demanding to be fed in a voice so high pitched it makes michael jackson sound like a baritone
my upstairs neighbor who i have named "big foot" who clumps around his apartment at 2 AM..sounding like an elephant in platform heels
the clients who leave a message and one hour later before i've even had a chance to play my messages, call back again...and act pissed off that i haven't returned their call yet
the artsy fartsy intellectuals who think zionism equals racism
human shields
the fact that electric cars were invented many, many years ago and no one NO ONE drives them or pushes the production of them and therefore we keep killing the environment and remaining dependant on scumbags like saudi arabia
who clearly hate our guts
that male actors can play leading rolls and be called sex symbols well into their late 60's even 70's (sean connery, clint eastwood, paul newman)
but women actors are washed up as leading ladies by their 35th birthday
they can only hibernate until their hair turns white and then re-emerge as the mom or aunt or next door neighbor VIVA SUSAN SARANDON THE GRAND EXCEPTION
trying to surf the web and use AOL at the same time on my %$#&* IMAC which neglected to mention that it's not compatible with AOL so my computer freezes up all the friggin time...
Laura Bush (I' m sorry but she's so Stepford its scary man)
the kazillion re-runs Buffy the Vampire Slayer subjected us too
hello jack-offs...bring on the new ^%#* episodes already...!!
that this may be the last season of buffy...wonder why? to many re-runs anyone?
that i got rejected from 15 publishers who liked my writing but said they could not in these economic times publish the work of an unknown HELLO HOW THE HELL ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO GET KNOWN FOR CRYING OUT LOUD???!!
that i would have an excellant chance of finding someone to publish my book for big ass bucks if i had sex with a major celebrity and then narked on them
pigs in a blanket
coffee substitutes that taste like sock lint
that gay marriage is not legal (hello? isn't this ridiculous already...we're here..we're queer...get over yourself!!)
that i had nothing to write today except a long list of all the things that make me go AAAAK
Monday, March 10
haven't we learned anything?
i'm an opinionated mama
i like to loudly proclaim my thoughts on just about anything
and if i don't know what the hell i'm talking about then i shut up
until i do
When i was 27 someone started talking to me about gertrude stein and i had to admit that i had no idea who she was although i'd heard the name bantered about
after i asked around i discovered that as a gay woman
and a writer i shoulda been so ashamed to not know who the high priestess of expatriate dyke-dom was that i should have covered myself in tar, rolled into a vat of recycled tampons and pushed myself out into a women's music festival for all to laugh at.
instead i decided to toss my "street-kid made good" tag and went back to college to get my BA in writing in modern literature
i am proud to tell you...i now know fully...who gertrude stein was and quite honestly i can't stand her..athough i adore alice b. toklas (well she was a killer cook)..
so here i am again
i have no idea how to make peace between the palestinians and the israelis
and no notions to even suggest...i know only that suicide bombers, like the bastard who just tore apart 2 months of piece by blowing up a bus filled with high-school kids....need to burn in hell for thousand lifetimes..and then be re-born as a woman in a taliban ruled country
i've tried to read everything i find on understanding israel
and no matter what i come up against
i still see the same things
israel has been defending itself
not offending......defending (note the difference)
since day one
asking for peace
since day one
bending over backwards
for peace
since day one
and israel has not done
what the jews in nazi germany did
what the jews in hungary did
what the jews in poland did
it has not become annihilated
and for this atrocity
for its refusal to be over-taken
and further more
for it's fierce and powerful self-defense
and for it's impossible victory against the surrounding arab nations
israel has seeked the slow...steady..building rath of those arab nations
of moslem fundamentalists who will do nothing to improve the lives of palestinians they themselves cast out, they themselves have refused right of return
because they want these people largely of jordan and other arab nations to be martyrs
they do not care for the well being of these people except as a powerful tool
to help in the annihilation of the jews of israel
this much i do know
as much as i do know that moslem fundamentalist leaders preach in the mosques
for the murder of jews
and for the murder of americans who assist israel
so i will keep reading
and i will keep learning
and i will keep attempting to find the answers
to this terrible endless exchange of death
but in my heart
in the end
i know i will come to this
in every generation
rises up .. a group of people who hate jews
this is the year 2,003...how absurd to think in this modern educated world
that anti-semitism would again rise it's ugly head
didn't the murder of 6 million jews teach anything
i've often wondered what the world would have been like
if the nazis had never been permitted to rise to power
if america had gotten into the war sooner
if the allied nations had never allowed hitler to be
how many countless millions of babies would have been born from those 6 million jews
who would they be now?
i was not yet born when this happened
but as a child i promised myself that if the winds of anti-semitism ever wafted through the air again...and something deep inside myself sensed that this kind of hatred was brewing again
i would not sit still
i went to spain
and in the old section of barcelona
i saw a giant swashtika
painted on a wall
it was left alone
the police did not come
and i walked by days later
and it was still there
no one thought to paint it over
to cover it up
they just left it
as if to say
"still"
i don't have the answers
but i do have the questions
why is it that when israel is attacked
only a few are outraged?
but when it defends itself
the world condemns it?
why is it that arab nations
condemn america for its aid to israel
when these same nations have done nothing to help the Palestinians?
why is it that the first bomb saddam hussein will most likely send
will be towards Israel?
that israelis now carry gas masks everywhere they go?
why is it that no one seems to remember that in the war
that pushed the group of people yet to be named palestinians out of israel
israel was fighting for its very existence?
why is it that everyone has forgotten that barak
was ready to give almost everything in the name of peace
and arafat walked away from the table?
and ordered more terror
why is it that the jews are always wrong
and never right
no matter what they do
i'm sick of this
i wasn't born the last time this kind of crap filled the air like floating cancer
but i'm here now
and i refuse to ignore what is so painfully obvious
i know enough to call it like i see it
I know enough to know that there is only one thing that would truly appease
The terrorist Moslem fundamentalists…..it’s called genocide….
Saturday, March 8
push push in the bush
speaking of bush
can everyone go to asparagirl's site (see upper left i'm do %$#& lazy to type in the %$#& code) and read what the high goddess of excellent attitude has to say about fucking for freedom
trust me it's a whole new spin on things and you may want to bring the KY
ok so yeah i saw president bush's press conference
damn
i have to say watching him really does make me feel schizoid as hell
because he is such an arrogant little prick
i mean he doesn't even attempt to answer anyone's questions
and he had some hard ass questions thrown at him
that gave him ample opportunity to turn things around
but the problem is
bush only works on script
because he isn't really running the show
i don't know who is
dick cheney i presume
colin powell
or my personal guess
the wizard of oz
but i just want those damn curtains to open
and then we'll see the real poobah
"THE GREAT AND POWERFUL OZ!!!!"
and then just when we thought
we could not be any further shocked
the great and powerful oz
will reveal himself to be
drum roll here
DON KNOTS (is that how you spell his name)
ok so yeah
i think bush is a putz
i do
always hated him
hated his dad
the whole family just a bunch of spoiled rich yahoos bathing in oil money
but the problem is
i hate saddam hussein more
I've had it out for his ass since
he started doling out those whopping 25,000 checks to the families of the suicide bombers
so listen here i am
a humanist
liberal
democrat
who has taken a bit of a bend in the road
since the intifada
since 911
and i'm saying to the anti-protestors
when/if
the time runs out and saddam does not disarm
what is your suggestion?
to let him be?
to leave him to his own devices??
go along now little saddam
do as you will
we trust you
what will you say when september 11th happens
again
in israel?
in san francisco?
in london?
in LA?
if you don't want to force him to disarm
then what is your suggestion?
keep talking?
talking
talking
or what?!?!?
i'd like to hear it
i'd like to hear something productive here
besides
peace at all costs
because peace at all costs
is exactly what i have against this tyrant
come on
tell me
whats your plan
spill it!
Tuesday, March 4
the patriot act....
since the suicide bombing in Israel started
since "911"
i've been feeling completely confused about who i am politically
my life used to be simple
i was a liberal democrat
the end
but then the liberal democrats started bashing israel
and the uptight right wing republicans started defending it
then the liberal democrats were asking me to march in anti-war protests
and the republicans were calling saddam hussein a dictator who has to go
on the one hand
i hate bush
not only has he got to be the president with the lowest IQ in history
but he's also got hidden agenda stamped all over his chimpanzee face
on the other hand...what would have happened if gore won (well if he won and they let him be president, i mean he did win) the election
would he have walked over to the taliban and offered them some tofu
and said things like "please don't hurt us...let's all meditate together.."
i mean when it was time to take out the taliban i felt glad to have a war monger in the white house...this was a time for cowboys
and when arafat started his bullshit...i like that bush told him to shut the fuck up
but the thing that's starting to scare me
is this patriot act stuff
because "sleepers" amongst us...hijacked some planes and tore away our hearts our virginity and our sense of security...now this government is trying to take away our privacy too
maybe it comes from reading "1984" in my formative years, but that scares the shit out of me
yes...detain terrorists...detain them till hell freezes over...
but don't check up on what books i buy on amazon.com or take out from the library
don't read my emails
don't come into my home without just cause and not even tell me you were there
i don't know where the fine line is between protecting us from terror
and taking us back to the communist witch hunt days
but i hope someone finds it
it's scary
a gal at the gym told me about "the new york city bill of rights defense campaign"
a group of folks trying to stop the patriot act from taking over one city at a time
this city new york city, the greatest city in the universe
i'm torn about a lot of things in this war
but here's what i'm not torn about
i am an american
and have certain un-alliable rights
and i don't want them taken away because a group of motherfucking cowards
killed 3,000 people
i don't know what the answers are here
but i do know there has to be some kind of happy medium
defend me from terrorists
but don't take away my basic freedoms to do so
i guess...i should assume that it's possible that someone in the government is reading this right now and starting a file on me
if so... remember to get it right
i'm a downtown new york city bitch
and 100% all american girl
Sunday, March 2
home-O GOD HELP ME- pathic
so i've just had my first experience trying to cater a wedding
on this intense homepathic (am i spelling that right) detox i'm on
why don't i just tell you about the easy day
the day before the wedding
what we kitchen folks call the prep day
it kinda went this way
take in delivery of 60 pounds of filet mignon, 50 pounds of mahi-mahi, 20 pounds of chicken cutlet, 50lbs of beef neck bones, 6lbs of sushi tuna
drink glass of water, watch miha drinking a cup of coffee and feel a need to rip the coffee out of his hands while screaming
"give me that you selfish bastard!!"
ask miha to roast the bones for stock
drink glass of spring water
dream of coffee
marinate 20 pounds of chicken cutlet in rosemary, thyme and garlic
make apple chutney
make guacamole with no cilantro (bride's allergic)
take disgusting tasting vial of 12 herbal extracts that makes me want to projectile puke all over the kitchen
drink glass of water
dream of coffee
make garlic oil for pasta
take anti-allergy suppliment
make calamara olive tapenade
answer 5 phone calls from nervous brides
drink glass of spring water
dream of coffee
have meeting with a perspective bride and groom
who are supposed to stay for an hour
and stay for an hour and a half
during which stomach is burning from vat of herbal extracts
and no food
start dropping hints
like, "well i've got lots to do.....umm...well gotta get back to the grind stone...umm it's a big day today...in the kitchen..."
consider pulling the fire alarm
brides and grooms tend to be a bit self involved...it goes with the territory
have staff meal
of filet of sole
and sweet potatoes
take two suppliments
drink glass of water
dream of coffee
pull out bottle of 10 more vitamins and suppliments to take
one at a time every 5 minutes so i don't projectile vomit all over the kitchen
supervise equadorian dishwasher on how to cut zuccini and not have it look
boring which is actually an art form into itself
watch miha clean filet mignon and notice the sexual way he holds the long piece of meat..make note get a therapist
take in delivery of miniature empanadas from the empanada king
eric who's from the philipines and has clearly embraced the spanish side of his heritage... "Ola dudes.." he says while entering
finally finish the suppliments
drink the rest of the bottle of water
pee for the 50th time today
and dream of coffee
watch neil make 4 quarts of chocolate amaretto sauce
and fight an urge to dive head first into the double boiler filled with lush chocolate and liquor
drink bottle of water
dream of a mounds almond joy bar covered in peanut butter with starbucks mocha cappucino chaser
help clean up kitchen
write up pre-party prep list for the wedding day tomorrow
take quick inventory of freezer
hop a car service into manhattan with neil and miha
over the 59th street bridge stare at the gorgeous sky-line
and dream of thick hot cuban cafe' con leche dripping down my throat
Saturday, March 1
whoops
sorry for the last post appearing twice
could not seem to correct no matter how many times i pressed delete
what can i say
i am technologically challenged
in a big ass way
but here it is again
one time only
sheesh
Rather Knot
Thursday, February 27
ok so first let me just say
i did not watch the dan rather interview with saddam hussein...think I was watching the twilight zone at the time
what did it come on last night at 9pm?
hmm let's see it was ed, followed by twilight zone followed by queer as folk
A wild night for moi
anyway
anyway
thanks to the goddess Michele of small victory
(see upper left to link)
i was able to read a transcript
cause lord knows
i’m too caffeine challenged to actually download it from CBS
anyway
my first thought was
rather was showing the charming, human, kind side of saddam
just like barbara walters had shown the santa clause side of fidel castro
amazing how these great journalists
can show these lengthy...rating winning interviews
of major dictators
and not even laugh themselves silly
at said dictators
pretending to be kind jovial
saintly types
but at least fidel isn't exactly mass murdering his own people
today
anyway
love how saddam was all about allah
and love and peace and harmony
and the great people of Iraq
when he's made a point of torturing and terrorizing a nice chunk of his own people in the past
love the part where he suddenly seemed to know english
and what about him announcing that he did not lose the gulf war
Hello?
now as to his request to the president of america
for a debate to solve this
um...this is not an election campaign
this is a possible war against
a nightmarish dictator
who seems to have a huge problem
dismantling his missiles
what is this a penis thing?
first of all ...we all know the baby bush can not hold his own
in a debate that’s why gore won the election
yes won
so maybe saddam thinks he can save his country by outsmarting bush in a debate
the real issue here
is
holding a debate with saddam
elevates his importance
and also allows him a grand stadium to spin his
back talking bullshit
and lastly
would you have a debate with Mussolini
NOT
what scares me about all this humanizing of saddam
and anti-war protests
and celebrities for peace
is not the effort for peace
peace is always what one should strive for
it’s the separating of saddam from his actions
he is riding the wave of anti-war sentiment to set himself up
as the enemy of war, and the champion of peace
and yet the only reason, war is on the horizon is because of him violating
UN sanctions and building weapons of mass destruction
if he doesn’t want war
then throw away his weapons
easy
EASY
Stop grandstanding as this ALLAH loving man of the people
And bragging about being elected by 100% of his people
What would happen to the people who did not vote for him
I wonder
Gone
Disappeared
Missing
Just like so many pieces in this puzzle
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