4 months ago
i became mommy number two to a puppy
cute you say
yes except when Miha
decided to get a puppy and make me mommy
he decided to get a great dane puppy
not just a great dane but the largest of all kinds
the puppies parents weigh more then rosanne barr
when we picked up the 8 week old grey and white harlequin darling at the airport
he was already 35 pounds
i quickly learned that a puppy is hard enough
but a puppy that grows quite literally one pound a day and by the time he was 4 months old was already 80 pounds
is more then hard
i had so many bruises folks started thinking i was downright kinky
greta is now calming down
a little
he is 6 months old
and 110 pounds
a few days ago i decided to go for a short run with the HORSE PUPPY
at some point
my feet left the ground
and it was like
greta was flying a blonde kite
then i landed
and honey
we are talking serious road rash here
i still can only use two fingers in my left hand
last night
the puppy greeted miha but jumping in the air
and his paw landed inside mihas eye
two hospital visits later
miha is on pain killers
looking like the last scene in dark victory as bette davis
says
the lights are growing dimmer now
oy friggen vey
here are the things i have learned you must not do with a HORSE PUPPY
you must never run while attached in anyway to the puppy
i dont care if its jogging or
what have you
dog owners of normal size dogs can do this
but dog owners of small horses can not
you must never let the horse puppy jump up on you
or you will land on your ass
with a 110 horse sitting on you
you must never let your face or any body part you care about be underneath the mouth of the horse puppy
or said body part will be covered in thick murkey acidic drool
that frankly gives me a rash
i went on a day trip with the horse puppy
and when i came back i looked like i was raped by a 500 pound snail
honey we are talking DROOL!
you must never let the horse puppy anywhere near anything small you care about
jewelry
bottle caps
spoons
the hope diamond
or you will not see said item again
until you clean it up off the sidewalk
okay granted normal size puppies do this too
but speaking of poop
cleaning up after a horse puppy
is not for the faint of heart
it requires a bulldozer!
i wont even go any further on this subject
use your imagination
im planning on buying a saddle for the puppy
and selling rides to the kids in the hood for a buck
this may help pay mihas hospital bill
or mine
in any case
wish us luck
