just a few tips here for those who in the passover way

1) do not eat matzoh into infinity followed by hard boiled eggs
or basically you won't poop till chanukah

2) do not hide the afekomen in the drier as i once did or you will spend weeks picking matzoh out of your underware

3) do not leave a glass of red wine on the floor for the prophet to come drink
forget about it and then kick it all over the friggen floor

4) do not try to show off by shoving a gallon of horseradish down your face
its not worth it
trust me

5) if you want to go for the sweet manishevistz jugs of wine
pour little glasses or you will really
really pay for it the next day
ech!
best to splurge
there really is good passover wine
really there is
i promise
okay maybe not good
but not bad

6) have a little snack before the seder starts
then you wont have to mainline the charoseth

7) only invite one ex lover at a time to seder
unless of course your two ex lovers are now dating
each other

8) try to remember that this whole thing is all about the exodus from egypt
and not just the charleton heston version

9) do not go out to the fish store looking for a filet of gefilte
gefilte fish is not a kind of fish
its basicaly a fish meat loaf thats poached

10) lastly
have fun
love
laugh
and eat a lot

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