im facing something of a dilema
i wouldnt mind airing out with you
turns out governor pataki here in nyc
has given till aug of 2007
for early responder relief workers in ground zero
to file for workmans comp relief from
illnesses related to 911
for volunteers such as myself
we have to first prove we were there
which is easy
i have the photos, the ID badge
the video tape even a magazine im in
doling out food to the firemen
but then comes the harder part
proving that our ailment is a direct result of ground zero
well
i did not have asthma on sept 1st 2001
and did have asthma on oct 1st 2001
and ever since
seems clear but
but ...not really
then comes the harder part
i can work
i can function
i was working near the hole
on sept 16th and lasted
less then a week
i own my own home
and so far, thank god, can pay the mortgage
not like the many great people who were down there for months on end
and can't walk
can't breathe
can't hold a job
they are like vietnam vets
im more like a vietnam visitor
so i feel torn
nobody asked me go down there
but i had to go
for that i take full responsibility
what im angry about
is that they said the air was safe
they gave us paper masks and said it was fine
and i put on my paper mask
that did nothing
and worked 100 feet from the hole of the north tower
and now i have a prescription for an asthma inhaler
part of me wants to file
part of me things its not right
or not worth the fight
money better spent on the far worse off
i didnt ask to be compensated then
and would never have taken it anyway
but now
well
its been a long
long time
since ive had a nice long breath of air
so im torn
i dont know
i just dont know
as the anniversary approaches
i ask myself
would i do it again
and of course
yes
yes
a thousand times yes
only this time i would get there sooner
stay longer
but honey
i would first go out and buy the most state-of-the-art filtered mask every invented and another 500 or so for my new friends
