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Wednesday, July 26 the magic number
Have you ever had a girlfriend? One day they love you, the next they can’t stand anything about you. Have you ever been a woman’s first lover? Well, if you have then you know… you don’t take away someone’s chastity and then just walk away. No…. breaking the hymen means serious commitment or, well at least a pretense of one. Only the biggest jerk would deflower a young lady and then run away. Then say you do deflower this lady and you do stick around. The problem is no matter how much you try she will always, always have doubt in her heart, she will always wonder…since this is the only person I have made love with, how do I know its really any good? She will smile dreamily at you, all the time wondering what might it have been like if someone else, someone taller, someone richer, someone bigger, someone bolder had picked her cherry. Now imagine that your girlfriend, the young cherry you pitted, is not your only lover. Let’s say you decide to live dangerously and you go out say, to the other side of town and find a chaste young girl there and become her first lover too and then take her as your girlfriend. Well then your life becomes a tightrope of lies and secrets, living in fear, always worrying that one of your lovers meet the other and knowing all the while..that if these two women ever find out about each other…blood will be shed and most of it will be yours. Now let’s say you are well, either evil or psychotic or hmmm both and you decide that on your weekend business trips, that the young daughter of the inn-keeper a tender little thing who’s not even ever been kissed shall be your next conquest and after many flowers and a few chocolate bars you coax her with the help of a bottle of peach schnapps into giving it up for you and then ever after make her home your weekend stop, the presents to her father growing ever more expensive as he grows every more suspicious and you keep on eye on the size of her belly as you also keep and eye on the size of her father’s shotgun. Exhausted yet? This is, if you are counting the saga of breaking in three virgins.
Someone needs to tell these little idiots that this is not anything close to heaven and really quite the opposite. Yes dears..I’m fairly sure that 72 virgins is what happens to you if you go to hell.
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