my good pal and mentor
nancy aka la matrix check out linkie love list dears
just asked me how i felt about the flight 93 movie
i'd only seen the first ads a few days ago and had a complex mish mash of emotions
part of me screamed its too soon
part of me screamed no we must preserve and remember
i saw an interview with the director and some of the families of the fight 93 heroes
and the families were all thrilled to have the movie made and their loved ones remembered
i guess its a bit like a mini version of the holocaust in some ways
(i said mini version i know 3,000 dead can not compare to 6 million so dont start the nasty comments...im jewish, much of my family died in the holocaust so shut up)
like i said its a bit like a MINI version because one is plagued with two voices
the need to forget and the need to remember all at the same time
to the part of me that says its too soon
i say this
better to make the movie while we are all here
our memories crisp
and our bullshit detectors on high alert
tell the truth
we will see bull doody
in the case of flight 93 of course
one can only piece together bits and pieces
but this we know
they fought back
the plane did not make its evil target
they are heroes
they died saving others
when i produced the art show Reaction
showcasing the before and after 911 of many artists' work
i worried that some would feel i was profiting from 911
so was quit to give all profit to a 911 related charity
as it turned out
hundreds about a thousand all told people came
and were grateful for the chance to
observe how art had been affected
and grateful for a safe place to feel 911
because the further we get from that terrible day
the more people feel embarrassed to feel deeply about it
i still cant talk about it for more then a few minutes without crying
so i dont
im sure i will see the movie
and sure i will be grateful for the dark theatre
there was something oddly poetic about learning about this movie
just before the first night of passover
happy passover by the way
and happy easter to ya all too
anyway
passover to me
has always been rich with tradition
i always make a seder
and always take time to feel grateful
passover in its core
is about simply this
thanking the higher powers
for being passed over
for not having the plagues and death
and the lost of a child set upon you
i had survivor guilt after 911
a lot of us did
then i had relief and began to try and learn how to cherish
every day of my life like a new one
i forget that
often of course
but things like passover and this move
remind me
each day is a gift
and if we are lucky enough to be alive
we must cherish our gift every day we are alive
i remember the many broken faces covered in dirt, bloody hands, frozen hearts,
looking up at me as if i somehow might say or do something to make it just a little better
and all i could do was feed them and say thank you and every once in awhile grab a cold, red hand
and hope that a human touch might warm their shivering soul
these are the images, sights, sounds, smells that will never leave me
that will never leave any of us
this is the reason that we as Americans
dont watch the news the same way we used to
now when we see a suicide bomber that has killed innocent lives in israel
israel no longer seems so far away
none of the senseless death and violence anywhere seems so far away
because it all so easily can land
right here on our front door step
i guess i will eat another matzoh ball
say another prayer
and probably find myself in the back row of a movie theatre
ready to remember and forget at the same time
thankful for being passed over
sad for those who were not so lucky
