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Friday, December 30 New Years Mama
well new years is just about upon us 1) I promise not to give nasty looks to everyone who wears those jeans that fall down the crack of their ass and expose their entire butt just so they can show off the little tattoo cradled in their crack... cause frankly there's just too many of them anyway 2) No longer will I roll my eyes back in my head like zombi on acid everytime someone in my gym leaves a puddle of sweat on a machine one inch deep and does not wipe it off. Instead for my mental health I will simply grab the roll of paper towels and shove it up their wazoos. (wazoo a generic term that can mean anything I damn well want it to) 3) I will never ever ever again watch television no matter how much I love the show, even though it was Buffy the Vampire Slayer once and Queer as Folk once when I could instead be having sex, because I have come to understand how rare decent sex is. I said decent honey. Lousy sex is ample. 4) I will take a deep breath the next time I get an obnoxious comment from a right winger with no ability to type while being simultaneously human and say to myself....there but for the grace of god...... 5) I will give myself permission to not be a world famous writer/painter for yes another year, because i am on the road...and staying creative and thats good enough for now..the validation might not come till i lose the ear 6) Never again shall I laugh at George Bush because quite honestly 7) The next time I fall in love I will check the availability tag first
9) I will try and remember that just because Im in my busy season my friends may not be and try and return their phone calls in a timely fashion and be kind, instead of screaming 10) I will not change the fact that I am a loudmouthed NY bitch I am woman hear me roar! Meow!
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