It was shocking to me the first time
When one of my clients
Told me they had googled me and found Rossi Rant..
Oh my god my professional catering life
Crashing head on into my personal NOT PC web site
My life was over
I would have to go in the closet
Pretend to be a virgin
Wear pastel colors instead of black
But no
Honey
Its just too big
A burden to pretend to be something other then what I really am
So if there are some clients out there who go elsewhere
Because they read my site
And im not a straight, republican, proper, oh so dainty lady
Then all I can say is
Go to fucking hell motherfuckers!
Ohh that felt so good
Ahh yes
Cause for the folks who remain
Who don’t care that I sometimes where orange plastic clogs
And look like a rock and roll biker bitch turned chef
For those lucky folks
The reward is the best ^&%%#^&**(((#(# food
This side of the mason Dixon line
Im soooooooooo humble
Also in my busy season
Which takes away all humility
But let me tell you about my last few days
So you’ll know why im ready to bite nails
After catering oh
Hmm
3 to 4 weddings a weekend for the last several weekends
with no end in sight
after the 7 days of rain
flooded my basement and destroyed my ceiling
and my landlord doesn’t think its his responsibility cause
you know it costs money to fix
after the dishwasher broke the gate
and now its so broken
im either gonna have to replace it or
just put a sign in the window that reads
take my stuff please
after one two many employees with a sense of entitlement
that would make the queen of England gasp
like the one who walked into the kitchen
one hour after arrival and asked where staff meal was
after bride-zillas so self absorbed they think that there is nothing
in my life besides them
after all this
I discover that my lovely
And expensive
Dry goods and freezer room has this pesky pipe
That my contruction company
Nor my landlord mentioned
Would once the heat was turned on for the residential building above
Reach a temperature of 120 degrees
And burn out my freezers and heat my dry goods
To an unsafe level
So that today I have to have a crew
Either knock down the wall
Or cut holes in it to let the air out
So all I can say is
AAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
Now then
To all the brides who are not bride-zillas
And are nice lovely
Ladies and Gentlemen of course
I say this
Be nice to your caterer
Treat your caterer with respect
And decency
Be kind
Be patient
And in the end
You will get 10 times more then you paid for
Like my bride last night
The lovely and amazing
And charming Vivian
Who I served oh about 10 times the desserts then shed paid for
Hired more chefs then shed paid for
And went all out
For
Cause shes been friggen decent to me
Its just
Common sense for crying out loud
Caterers are ya know people too
Nice in
Gets nice out
Evil in
Gets well
At least another 20 bucks a person on your bill
We in catering land
Call that the aggravation clause
