Monday, January 10

the bitch is back

well folks i am back
from the special events convention in miami
was quite the experience i can assure you
so here are a few highlights
the beach bash
that fed almost 1,000 folks in the event industry
with many food stations from local caterers, bars, entertainment
you name it but guess what
everyone EVERYONE forgot the napkins
so i just sat there and watched hundreds of party planners, florists, entertainment agents and caterers wipe their hands on their shirts, their seats, the sand
its all about the little things
you gotta remember the napkins
then came the wedding professional lunch
that managed to serve everyone in the ballroom but the four tables i was clustered in the center of
and when the large gentleman from Kentucky who was seated at our table complained he heard the chef yell to the maitre d on the walkie talkie
"We're out of food!"
somehow we did get fed and i don't want to know
where our meat came from
although i did have to fight a temptation to see if the chef still had all his limbs
the hotel
we stayed at
somehow oh neglected to mention that they were under construction
and that the construction would go on every ^%$#&** day starting at 7:00 in the ^%$#^&* morning!!!
but there were some super great things too
like the beach
the sun
the pool
bonding with my pal tralena
causing a mutiny on the bus when some local yocal would just not shut the hell up
about his truffle farm
and my fave was the great ensemble Ms Nancy put together to go the
super trendy eatery
Barton G's
which was a blast
Barton does fun wacko stuff
like serve "disco shrimp" in a blinking disco ball of ice
the popcorn shrimp is served from a spilling out bag of popcorn
and the fish comes sitting on a small plastic lounge chair
very very kitsch and cute
i especially loved the OLD miami table with the Tammy Faye Baker look-alike
the gigola right out of a "godfather" movie
and the scary old jewish-mobster looking guy who wore a silver briefcase handcuffed to his wrist all night

im back
im tan
and tired
im ready not to hear the words
"mid tier"
" oxygen bar"
"chocolate fountain"
"cutting edge"
or "team building"
EVER again

guess im not the mainstream
corporate america type
i did
the mango martinis

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