i went out to din din with my fabulous pal mel
and although mel did find a rather tackful way to ask me
"have you gained a little weight?"
aaaak
IT"S PMS SO SUE ME
we did have a great time
Mel has been in life for sheeesh I guess its about 17 or 18 years now..
and I must say she's the poster child for not judging a book by its cover
when we met i sized her up immediately as the pretty, little good girl from Connecticut most likely to leave NYC screaming
and yet all these years later
while so many of the supposed toughies ran away in defeat
mel is still here
and still kicking ass
but somehow didn't turn into a jaded new yorker but rather
a kind, open, spiritual woman
who told me to immediately run home and burn sage
so it was just perfect to hang with mel
as i have been knee deep in my

"it's the holidays and i have no girlfriend, no kids, no house with white picket fence, i'm not a world famous writer or painter and i live in a country that actually GASP re-elected George BUSH!?"

well five minutes with mel who gently reminded me that i was a business owner
a home owner
attractive (she said that not me, im not conceited)
great catch (she said that too)
should be proud as hell
and happy etc

and i realized
shit
ive done what kazillions of women do
and i always attribute this to a straight woman thing
hang our self esteem on who's loving us and how much

oh what a pile of hooey

honeys if i never fall in love again
if i never find ms right
a co-parent to the 3 dogs i shall one day adopt
and one or two children

i still know
im smart
funny
hot honey..yes i am
and i look good from in front and behind
so fuck you all if you don't think so
cause i do
and so does mel

so there

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