Okay after a little prodding
(didn't take much honey)
see comments section from previous post !
(thanks dee gee)
***
I have decided to run for office in 2004!
Yep
Rossi for president of the United States
Why you ask?
Because I was born to beat the bush!
Hmmm that didn't sound quite right..
okay let me try another tactic
I am scared shitless that this country is being ruined by an egocentric little rich boy
who has some freaky sense of doing the mission of right wing Christians while in office..and doesn't think women have the right to choose
gays have the right to marry
americans who have opinions contrary to his own have the right to voice them without being treated as traitors
and also doesn't seem to think that anyone in the friggen universe has the right to demand the truth from him
plus i hate the way he looks, sorta like a chimp on mescaline
"oooo ooooo banana!!! ooo ooo weapons of mass destruction!"
now as one of my more masculine readers and supporters asked
wink
that'd be Mike FYI
here is my platform
**
If you elect me I promise
to fight for the rights of all women to have authority over their own bodies
but also to prevent them from having to be in the terrible position of
deciding whether or not to have an abortion
by beefing up sex education in our schools
and making sure that everyone, no matter how young or old.. has access to FREE and ample..contraceptive devices
one of which will be a naked photo of Janet Reno
If you elect me
I promise to never let religion get in the way of politics..
(except of course for Satanism which we all know is an important element of the U.N.)
If you elect me
I promise to make sure that every gay person in this country crazy enough to wanna get married
can get married
If you elect me
I promise
to make sure you never have to see Donald Rumsfeld's ugly mug on TV again
YECH!
If you elect me I promise to make Blogging and the personal web site world
a respected part of running the government
How you ask?
Simply by running polls in OUR universe
and then actually listening to what the REAL
folks want and think...
not what the government wants us to think that most Americans want
If you elect me I promise to kidnap every terrorist moslem fundamentalist leader, have the official sex change police perform a sex change operation on them and then return them to their
community to face life as a woman in a fundamentalist moslem world..
If you elect me
I promise
to be the first woman president!
hey that one was easy!!
but what comes with it is this
As a babe
I promise to get us out of a whole lot more jams without having to go to war
because instead of getting into Alpha male confrontations with other world leaders
i'll talk to them, play some soft music and make my famous.. 12 hour brisket..with a nice cabernet..
I''ll flirt mercilously with them
and then make them think they have a chance
and then never put out
because they're married
but pretend to have my heart broken
so they'll feel guilty
and do anything to make me feel better
HEHEHEHEHEHEHE
(sorry ladies but i had to divulge the secret weapon)
lastly
If you elect me
I promise to just tell you truth
and trust that you would prefer that to a pack of lies
no matter how painful the truth is
tooodles
Oh my slogan
"Saucy Rossi in 2004"
Spice things up!!!
FYI
I need a running mate
any ideas?
