sigh
well my inspiring bit of nature seems to have imploded
after watching the mommy and daddy pigeon make their nest
so lovingly
watching mommy lay her egg
and sitting on them in the rain
in the cold
in whatever kind of temperature to protect her baby
i woke one morning to discover that the egg was simly gone
no shells
no baby pigeon
nothing
and mom gone too
shes come back a few times
today i saw her come back with her mate
and she climbed down and sat on her nest as if to make sure
that yes
its really gone
then she flew away
i dont know what happened to the egg
or if she'll try again
and i don't much about the emotions of birds
but i feel so sad for her loss somehow
and sad for mine too
cause i was so looking forward to watching this new life
hatch
grow
and fly in front of me
while my own life has been changing
so drastically
so quickly
what a simple and wondrous distraction i hoped this would be
anyway
im bummed
and yes
i am so sappy these days
i'm probably making you ill
but really i was touched by this little pigeon family
and im sad to see them go

so whats left
well its me
i guess
left to make my own distractions
find my own bits of beauty to be inspired by
so maybe today
ill walk in the misty rain
through thompkins square park
and watch the dogs play in the dog rain
maybe tomorrow
ill be less sappy
i hope
for your sake anyway

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