so thanks to either some sick mofo on my flight home
or the fact that i went from 78 degrees
to something well below freezing
i immediately got the flu
aaaa choooo
damn it
i was so looking forward to showing off my sexy sun tan
now i look like rudolph the reindeer
ok well a tan red nosed deer
but still

sigh
i know you dont feel sorry for me
cause at least i got away from this shit for a week
but listen
im back
and its cold
and my nose in running
and i want sympathy damn
it
and i want it now
i am after all
a J.A.M. (new expression i coined..Jewish American Monster)
anyway
being well stoned on flu pills
i have started pondering the following...

for some reason
today
i felt a pang of sadness for the telemarketers
now we will know its them on our caller ID
and they will be hung up on or never answered
so although they have been terrorizing me for years
i feel a bit sad for them

you know kids
i'll let you in on a little secret
a millions years ago
one of my first jobs in NYC
was selling the new york times over the phone
yep
i did it
the night shift
filled with freaks
misfits
disfunctional drunks
and pink haired lunatics
i fit right in
natch
but see what i did was
i entertained the folks who got my call
yeah
i mean
if i was gonna get them to stay on the line
i made it interesting
i talked in a low sexy voice
and flirted with them
so this way
whether or not they bought my %$#^&* paper
they were fully scintillated
you might say it was free foreplay

i think our caller ID should say the following
telemarketer dont answer
or sexy telemarketer you decide
seems fair

on other things buzzing around my brain..

if a dog pees in the snow
and no one's there to see it
does it make a sound?

oy
im going to bed

Archives

Jan 2010
Dec 2009
Nov 2009
Oct 2009
Sep 2009
Aug 2009
Jul 2009
Jun 2009
May 2009
Apr 2009
Mar 2009
Feb 2009
Jan 2009
Dec 2008
Nov 2008
Oct 2008
Sep 2008
Aug 2008
Jul 2008
Jun 2008
May 2008
Apr 2008
Mar 2008
Feb 2008
Jan 2008
Dec 2007
Nov 2007
Oct 2007
Sep 2007
Aug 2007
Jul 2007
Jun 2007
May 2007
Apr 2007
Mar 2007
Feb 2007
Jan 2007
Dec 2006
Nov 2006
Oct 2006
Sep 2006
Aug 2006
Jul 2006
Jun 2006
May 2006
Apr 2006
Mar 2006
Feb 2006
Jan 2006
Dec 2005
Nov 2005
Oct 2005
Sep 2005
Aug 2005
Jul 2005
Jun 2005
May 2005
Apr 2005
Mar 2005
Feb 2005
Jan 2005
Dec 2004
Nov 2004
Oct 2004
Sep 2004
Aug 2004
Jul 2004
Jun 2004
May 2004
Apr 2004
Mar 2004
Feb 2004
Jan 2004
Dec 2003
Nov 2003
Oct 2003
Sep 2003
Aug 2003
Jul 2003
Jun 2003
May 2003
Apr 2003
Mar 2003
Feb 2003
Jan 2003
Dec 2002
Nov 2002
Oct 2002
Sep 2002
Aug 2002
Jul 2002
Jun 2002
May 2002
Apr 2002
Mar 2002
Feb 2002
Jan 2002
Dec 2001
Nov 2001
Oct 2001
Sep 2001