so thanks to either some sick mofo on my flight home
or the fact that i went from 78 degrees
to something well below freezing
i immediately got the flu
aaaa choooo
damn it
i was so looking forward to showing off my sexy sun tan
now i look like rudolph the reindeer
ok well a tan red nosed deer
but still
sigh
i know you dont feel sorry for me
cause at least i got away from this shit for a week
but listen
im back
and its cold
and my nose in running
and i want sympathy damn
it
and i want it now
i am after all
a J.A.M. (new expression i coined..Jewish American Monster)
anyway
being well stoned on flu pills
i have started pondering the following...
for some reason
today
i felt a pang of sadness for the telemarketers
now we will know its them on our caller ID
and they will be hung up on or never answered
so although they have been terrorizing me for years
i feel a bit sad for them
you know kids
i'll let you in on a little secret
a millions years ago
one of my first jobs in NYC
was selling the new york times over the phone
yep
i did it
the night shift
filled with freaks
misfits
disfunctional drunks
and pink haired lunatics
i fit right in
natch
but see what i did was
i entertained the folks who got my call
yeah
i mean
if i was gonna get them to stay on the line
i made it interesting
i talked in a low sexy voice
and flirted with them
so this way
whether or not they bought my %$#^&* paper
they were fully scintillated
you might say it was free foreplay
i think our caller ID should say the following
telemarketer dont answer
or sexy telemarketer you decide
seems fair
on other things buzzing around my brain..
if a dog pees in the snow
and no one's there to see it
does it make a sound?
oy
im going to bed
