i must admit to you
however shallow this might seem
but i have felt a real void in my life since
Buffy the Vampire Slayer went off the air..
think about it...when since
"Dark Shadows"
has there been such an underground, word of mouth
deep rooted cult love for a show..??!!!
yeah, yeah there was star trek but that was more main stream
Dark Shadows
Buffy
these were shows that pulled at our dark side
but only Buffy had the great camp humor
and such insider jokes
like when Angel had Faith chained up
and she said she wasn't trying to really hurt Zander
(the strangling was you know a love thing)
and Angel said
oh right you just forgot your safe word
a real deal SM insider joke
that would go over the heads of most folks
i barely caught it myself
and the LOVE that dare not say its name that buffy shared with angel
or
the sm love that really, really dare not say its name because its more about animal attraction then cuddling that buffy and spike shared
the lesbian emergence of willow the mostly good witch
good until her lover is killed
and then willow becomes more powerful then everyone
except for the mostly weak and useless zander
who coaxes her off her killing mood
with love. love ..love (all you need is)
oh come on
the show was just
it was just IT
and now
on tuesdays
i feel a void
like the way you feel
when someone you adore has
moved out of the country
or the way you feel
when like me
you had to give up coffee
im drinking green tea
right now
and honey
its a big ASS cup chock full of
VOID
one little
blip on the horizon
one little perk
on my Sunday Nights
has come into play
and that is
"Carnivale"
which is as weird and dark and freaky as
"Twin Peaks" with the whole dust bowl era thing mixed
in and lots of naked breasts
course "Queer as Folk" will be back soon
and what dyke doesnt love
fantasizing that she is Brian or Justin
and we are promised
"the L word"
the lesbo "Queer as Folk" sometime soon
and
mostly
of course
we still have Angel
and Spike has been re-born
as a ghost
on Angel
and well
they at least talk about Buffy
"heard from buffy?"
"she's somewhere in europe i think.."
but ultimately
Buffy was a once in a lifetime show
the closest i ever came to that kind of
television addicton
was when I was a kid
and got hooked on Lindsay Wagner
as "The Bionic Woman"
hell i even drew her portrait and mailed it to her..
i was hmm 10 or 11 i think
and had no idea that years later i would
discover i was gay
at the time
all i knew was that
every wed night
at 8
i had to be at the tv
waiting for my bionic woman
and that night i would dream
about her bionics not working
and me saving her
me the little kid
who's mom dressed her badly
and was too chubby
too husky
too not what she was supposed to be
in a stuck up little town of conformists
but with the bionic woman
i was a hero
every night
anyway
i digress
my point
is
simply this
i miss buffy
sigh
