i'm gonna let you in on a little secret
despite my 22 years in NYC
despite my bad ass attitude
despite my been-around-the-block- aura
i am evidently
far too trusting
La Cubana pointed this out to me recently
when i confronted our super
for not showing up to clean
as he is paid to do
and our super
looked me straight in the eye
and lied "i been coming..."
he said even though he hadn't set foot in our building in about a month
"i can't believe he lied to me" I said to La C
who looked at me and said "what did you think he was going to do?"
i guess i thought he was going to apologize
duhh

well today
a client who booked me about a year ago to cater an event and
who had taken up something over 50 hours of my consulting time
decided to cancel her event at the last minute
she canceled so last minute that I will now have to pay
some of my staff
so not only do i get screwed out of what i was supposed to make for all my time
but i get screwed for out of pocket money too
the thing is
i liked this lady
i liked her
i trusted her
and i cared about her event
i only charged her a deposit of less than 50% of what I should have
and now i am left totally screwed
her husband emailed me to say
basically sorry but too bad
so why
why
why
am i sitting here
so horrified and hurt?
this is business
this is NYC
people screw you over
every day
every second
and sometimes
the nicer they are
the more charming
the bigger the screw
SHEESH
i'm just a friggin
naiive little blonde yenta
i mean hello
ive been in business for 14 years
i should be used to this
sigh

la cubana says
she doesn't want me to change
she likes that i look tough on the outside
but im mush on the inside

my maitre d margot
calls me burnt marshmellow
hard and crusty outside
soft and gooey inside
as long as she doesnt shorten it to BM
which means something entirely different
im ok with the analogy

sigh
well
i guess
if the choice
is to become
hard
and un-trusting
and cold
i'm better off staying
naiive
and getting royally screwed
every once in awhile
but you know
for future reference
i'm not doing any discount deposits anymore
no way jose'

and im kick that ^%$&* super in his fat butt crack
if he lies to me again

the marshmellow rides again!!!!

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