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Tuesday, September 2 New Memoir, Old Fears and Moving On
Hello love-bugs I call this one "Rabbi's and Mozzarella." So reach on over to the "Memoirable" button and click to read. Meanwhile all the New Jersey I sucked in at the Bruce concert the other day is sending me into some wicked Dejavus land, so you can expect more memoirables sometime soon. By the way if you haven't already please go over to Michele at Smallvictory on my linkie love list and check out her "Voices" project. Add your story to the list of voices of "911" if you have something in your soul burning to get out. Personally I've been thinking a lot about "911" the last few days, actually I should say I've been thinking a lot about it since the black out. I think the black out dragged me back in a way I was not expecting. I know a lot of you who started reading my site in the year from Sept 11th 2001 to September 11th 2002, might have noticed an extreme lack of posting on the subject of "911" considering it was all I talked about for a year. Well sweeties, that was because on the one year anniversary, La Cubana so immersed me in everything "911" that I was finally filled enough to be fed up. I think I went past, love, fear, horror, sadness, shock, soul searching of my feelings over that terrible morning and into something more like obsession.. It's odd to say but "911" became something of an addiction for me and I had to just walk away from it, try not to talk about it, try not to think about it and just move on for at least a year. Now coming on the two year anniversary, I find myself gingerly ready to start talking about it..however cautiously, but wary, so wary that I don't find myself sucked in to a dark place. I've spoken with my pal and mentor Nancy formely of Jillmatrix.com, now of Queerday.com and told her my idea for this month. I think what feels right to me is to re-post my posts from two years ago starting on September 12th. I don't know how many I will do, maybe a week's worth, maybe a couple weeks. I'm just gonna feel it through. I am also going to do something else that I have not done before and that is to post some of the photos that I took or were taken of me at ground zero. I guess this will part of my healing and hopefully be a proper way to acknowledge the anniversary. and don't be surprised if after i re-post these pieces and write whatever pours out of my heart during this month of September, that the subject of "911" doesn't come up on this site too often again.. I don't know, some of the volunteers from ground zero are getting together for a reunion at the non-profit help center called "The September Space" on the anniversary. The September Space invites me to events all the time and I always feel a pull to go, but then I start to feel like a Vet of some short terrible war who keeps getting together with the buddies to relive something instead of moving on.. So I never go, only been there once.. I have to keep marching forward... I'm torn yes i did see the most beautiful heroism even now nearly two years later that it needs to stay behind me wish me luck
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