I didn't pick up the paper yesterday, largely because sometimes I just need a break from horrifying things
but i was told by a pal of mine
that the big story was all about Hillary Clinton's major investigation into 911
and that the really big story was that there were poisons in the air that the city/government lied to us all about..
if any of you reading this, have a copy of the article maybe you could send me some of the particulars in the comments section
but this does spark off all kinds of conspiracy theories
let me tell you my own story
and let you decide what you think
is true or not true
on september 10th of 2001
i was somebody who had mild allergies
i blew my nose a few times a day and maybe once or twice a week
i would take a mild allergy pill
by October 1st of 2001
i become someone who had to take the prescription allergy medicine every day
and would still have severe attacks on an almost daily basis
my allergies became so severe that as you may recall
6 months ago i embarked on a total homeopathic
cleanse and hopefully cure
the first thing my doctor did was test my blood
he informed me that i had the same level of carbon dioxide in my blood
as someone who smokes a pack a day
i do not smoke
and have not for hmm 15 years
granted much of this could have been caused by just being new yorker
in a high stress life
okay now let me back up
in the week that i was at ground zero from september 16th on
i only wore my mask when i went to the hole- the actual spot of the collapsed towers
when i was a block away in front of the St Paul Church i did not wear my mask
partially that was because it was hard to talk or breathe in such heat from behind the mask
and mostly it was because i wanted the heartsick heroes of that terrible time
to look into my face when i served them their meals and to know that i cared about them
which i did and still do
nobody told me to put on my mask
and frankly a block away the air felt clear
and it just didnt feel so important
of course about a hundred feet away the air was so thick with dust
that it felt something like a cross between a snow storm and windy day in the dessert
but from my perch at the st. paul
well i just rarely wore my mask
i know now
that much of my respiratory problems are most likely because of this
but to tell you the truth if i had to do it all over again
im not sure i would wear the mask
anyway
making eye contact
whispering
thank you
you're great
you're a hero
smiling
making them smile
i dont think i could trade that in
anyway
back to conspiracy theory stuff
many months later
towards the latter part of the clean up of ground zero
i spent a little time
volunteering at a warehouse
that outfited the tours of firemen
when the new men would come in
we would give them carhard jackets with their names on them
new boots
flashlights
eye wash
gum
candybars
oh you name it
when the old crews came out
they could keep their carhard jackets but their boots
caked with the mud of ground zero
had to be bagged in plastic bags marked hazardus waste
and we had to NOT touch those boots with our hands
they were placed in special hazard bins and shipped out
somewhere
while i was helping in this procedure it occurred to me
that the mud that the higher ups had decided was sush a hazard
it could not be touched by the human hand
was the same mud
i had plowed around in
in my street shoes
tank top
and jeans
nobody told me not to touch my shoes afterwards
actually i still have them
in my closet
i dont think its a coincidence
that ive been so sick since that week
at ground zero
and i do believe that what hillary clinton
is digging up is true
and is probably just a small part of a large truth
thats gonna kick the ass of watergate when it comes out
as to the conspiracy
part
i just think
we the public
werent told the real deal
and i do think
the higher ups
knew a whole lotta stuff
that they werent telling us
maybe we were better off
as panic might have ensued
maybe not
i dunno
but i do
know that whatever was on the boots of those firemen
was in the air
and on my clothes
and probably is still sitting in my closet
so keep digging hillary
and keep us posted
i want some answers
even if they won't change a damn thing
as for me
if i had to do it all over again
the only thing different i would have done
would be to get down there and start helping
on september 11th
not september 16th
what i know now
is that on that day of 911
when the world felt like it was breaking apart
i could have done more to help in one hour than i have done in the two years since
but then again
on 911
like so many of you
i was too busy wondering
if I or someone I love
was gonna be next
and well...
maybe if i had run down there that terrible morning
i wouldn't be here writing this today
