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people who are leaving the bodega as i am entering but insist on pulling the door shut behind them

my cat at 5:00 AM demanding to be fed in a voice so high pitched it makes michael jackson sound like a baritone

my upstairs neighbor who i have named "big foot" who clumps around his apartment at 2 AM..sounding like an elephant in platform heels

the clients who leave a message and one hour later before i've even had a chance to play my messages, call back again...and act pissed off that i haven't returned their call yet

the artsy fartsy intellectuals who think zionism equals racism

human shields

the fact that electric cars were invented many, many years ago and no one NO ONE drives them or pushes the production of them and therefore we keep killing the environment and remaining dependant on scumbags like saudi arabia
who clearly hate our guts

that male actors can play leading rolls and be called sex symbols well into their late 60's even 70's (sean connery, clint eastwood, paul newman)
but women actors are washed up as leading ladies by their 35th birthday
they can only hibernate until their hair turns white and then re-emerge as the mom or aunt or next door neighbor VIVA SUSAN SARANDON THE GRAND EXCEPTION

trying to surf the web and use AOL at the same time on my %$#&* IMAC which neglected to mention that it's not compatible with AOL so my computer freezes up all the friggin time...

Laura Bush (I' m sorry but she's so Stepford its scary man)

the kazillion re-runs Buffy the Vampire Slayer subjected us too
hello jack-offs...bring on the new ^%#* episodes already...!!

that this may be the last season of buffy...wonder why? to many re-runs anyone?

that i got rejected from 15 publishers who liked my writing but said they could not in these economic times publish the work of an unknown HELLO HOW THE HELL ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO GET KNOWN FOR CRYING OUT LOUD???!!

that i would have an excellant chance of finding someone to publish my book for big ass bucks if i had sex with a major celebrity and then narked on them

pigs in a blanket

coffee substitutes that taste like sock lint

that gay marriage is not legal (hello? isn't this ridiculous already...we're here..we're queer...get over yourself!!)

that i had nothing to write today except a long list of all the things that make me go AAAAK

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