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Tuesday, December 10 Big Foot and the 72 Marthas
Has the whole world gone kaplooey? I just found out that “Big Foot” is dead..or rather the 84-year-old koot who just croaked thus allowing his family to finally fess up that he made the whole thing up by stomping around with clay feet on. Seems he even filmed his family running around in monkey suits. ..always a leisure ware option. Damn! He was like the all American mascot; stinky, hairy, lousy posture.. hell he was like every guy I ever met in Brooklyn! Sheesh..we coulda used a Big Foot right about now too. We’ve got that sleazoid Saddam smiling and playing nice..whilst he waits for a better opportunity to send us small pox grams. We’ve got terrorists aiming shoulder held missiles at passenger planes. Cause…get this…its HOLY! Holy….. SHIT.. The only thing holy about shooting at passenger planes is the amount of holes in your head. But you can’t tell a psycho martyr anything these days. We’ve got Trent Lott longing for the good old days ya know before integration..when a guy could just go out for a nice stroll in his white robe and hood and hang with the fellers. That guy scares me. I just don’t trust a dude who looks like he made his hair out of “play-do” feel the same way about Ted Koppel. I wish Big Foot were real. I’d summon him up from his stinky cave and send him out stomping. He’d stomp on those damn Jihaders who are fouling everything up for the Israelis and for the Palestinians. He’d stomp on Arafat, that two-timing slimy little ugly fart. I’ll bet he’s got Trent Lott hair under that head wrap! He’d stomp on Martha Stewart..just because I hate her. Ya know if there is such a thing as mercy in this world, those 72 virgins all those cowardly murderers are blowing themselves up for will all turn out to be Martha. Can you imagine that…72 Marthas??! No…dear…you can’t just make coffee with coffee, you’ve got to season it with Jamaican nutmeg. No..you can’t just have a steak..it has to be home-smoked. Come lets turn this old refrigerator into a smoke-house. What’s that..you want to lie down..wait we’ve got to put Martha Stewart linens on the bed and now its time to knit covers for our skies, you don’t ski well Martha number 35 will show you how, while Martha 52 makes sure you’re wearing your personalized Santa hat. Martha 24 is busy melting the wax for your make your own scented candle soiree'. …hahahahahahahahahahahahhahahhaha
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