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Wednesday, December 4 the 8 days of Chanukahmas
On the first night of Chanukah my true love gave to meeeeeeeeeeeee Intestinal gas from eating to much hummus. On the second night of Chanukah my true love gave to meeeeeeeeeeeee Guilt from the fact that this was the first Chanukah I’d spent with my family since dinosaurs roamed the earth. On the third night of Chanukah my true love gave to meeeeeeeeee The flu from not understanding that just because it’s hot in LA in the mornings doesn’t mean it won’t be freezing once the sun goes down and when you mix that with getting splashed by water on the Universal Studios tour and the fact that one of your nieces is sick and keeps kissing you it’s a one way ticket to Kleenex land. Aaaachhoooooo. On the fourth night of Chanukah my true love gave to meeeeeeeeeee An entire night and morning spent with American Airlines, when my 10Pm red-eye flight turned into midnight madness, after the plane we boarded was declared unfit due to the radio not working and we had to re-board another plane after sitting on the floor in the airport for an hour and wound up being so delayed that we landed at JFK just in time for rush hour, which then meant that after a night mare flight I sat in the worst traffic of the day for the hour and half ride home. On the fifth night of Chanukah my true love gave to meeeeeeeeeeee Hey Josh Whedon, you’re losing your damn Buffy fans here. Stop with the %$#@^& re-runs, put Zander on a diet, give Anya some botox and for crying out loud, let Buffy laugh every once in a blue moon. I’m gonna change the name of the show to Sylvia Plath the Vampire Slayer. On the sixth night of Chanukah my true love gave to meeeeeeeeeeeee Well…um …actually that’s tonight, but at this point I’m fully expecting a night of tea, vitamin C, bad TV and lots and lots of sneezes. I may not be in the Christmas spirit (well I am Jewish duhhh) but I do look like Rudolph the red nosed reindeer. Anyway, hope you had a happy turkey day…I as it turned out did not eat any turkey but I did have an enormous amount of glatt kosher meatballs, goulash, roast chicken and gefilte fish. Which has prompted me to declare “Metamucil” as the official holiday treat. And a (kosher) partridge in a pear treeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
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