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Monday, November 11 flamingo mama
Just got back from Tampa. Man if you ever really, really, really need to relax, fly into Tampa and don’t rent a car. Sheesh. It’s worse than LA. At least in LA you’ve got some distraction…convertibles full of strippers being one of them. Luckily I had taken this all into consideration before I left. The idea was to get so relaxed I might actually ponder boredom. Aaah boredom, after 18 weddings, the idea of being so relaxed I might actually get bored sounded like heaven. Anyway, when I realized I was about to have my first weekend off in 10 weeks, I called up my travel chick and said, “Travel chick get me outa here!” She sent me to the Safety Harbor Spa, a somewhat sleepy resort, best known for their natural spring waters which fill the pools, the steam room and even come out the tap. First time I ever got to guzzle tap water and feel good about it. A cold front blew in with me and Natch Indian summer descended on NYC as I left. Is this Karma for being such a rotten teen-ager? Anyway, I flew in Thursday and luxuriated in the spa and poolside all day Thursday and Friday, opting to order room service and watch HBO at night instead of hob-knobbing with the geriatric babes in wash&set hairdos. For an extra thrill I would sip wine on my terrace and watch tacky guys in tennis ware try to shmooze up some babes who looked like they’d just come back from the Dinah Shore look-alike contest. But it was nice. There were also some real highlights (and not the peroxide kind). Scaring the women in the steam room with my tattoo was one of em. Watching “The Sopranos” while sipping on a great chardonnay with the Tampa Bay in the distance was another. But what the travel chick didn't know and what the spa hadn't warned me about was that on Saturday and Sunday, the spa would be transformed into my worst nightmare; a wedding location. Aaaaakkkk! Imagine my horror when I threw myself into a lounge chair pool-side and saw the set up of a wedding buffet being assembled 50 feet away. Will I ever escape this endless land of nuptuals?!?!?! Sigh. Oh well. So…yeah…I’m back and its gray and drizzly and my allergies greeted me at the airport, but WTF…it’s always nice to come back to Manhattan. FYI I knew I was headed in the right place at the Tampa airport when I walked through a bazillion people dressed in pink, yellow and turquoise and found a whole room full of folks in black, gray and beige. I didn’t even have to see the sign saying this was the hang-out for the NYC flight. Anyway, here I is slightly de-stressed…somewhat..relaxed..just a little rested. In other words, I’m a big blonde tank ready to be filled up with aggravation all over again. What can I say? Bring it on!
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