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« I think I've become the Norma Rae of 9/11. | Home | I've felt more anti-Semitism since 9/11 than in my whole life put together. »

Yep, I did. Had a good time, and I'm tan, too.

I decided it was okay to take a break from worrying about Israel or processing September 11th. ... Well, for a weekend, anyway.

Besides it was my ex-lover's wedding.

I had to go.

If you happen to be of the heterosexual lot, you may not understand that the process of going to your ex lover's wedding in Lesbianland is like a rite of gay womanhood.

It's what we do, we of the tribe of Lesbos. We stay pals with our exes, go to the commitment ceremonies they have with their new lovers. It's sorta the dyke version of that Circle of Life song from The Lion King.

I kept waiting for Elton John to break thru any moment and belt out, the circlllleeee of dykkeeeee...

Anyway, it was great, however weird.

I went with la cubana, my babe and the woman who was my ex, when my ex-about-to-get-married and I were lovers. After my ex-now-married and I broke up, I got back together with my ex-before-my-ex.

Keep up here.

So my ex-now-married, who is a %$#@ genius, I must say, had an ice breaker soiree, which allowed la cubana and I a chance to get over our nerves and my ex a chance to check out la cubana and me a chance to cause trouble by lining up all the ex-lovers of my ex's new wife and get the dirt on everyone, which was my way of covering up for the fact that I kept remembering that the last time I was in this house, things were not very ex- like.

There was a great, diverse crowd at the ice-breaker soiree, including several lesbians from Atlanta, one of whom is a probation officer and just had me on the floor with tales of her many parolees.

"Oh, it just fell into my bag. I didn't take it!"

There was the totally tattooed NYC DJ, also an ex of my now-married-ex, whom I forced to strip in the bedroom (it was innocent I swear) the professional bridge playing mom of bride No. 2, who refused to give me her secret Caesar salad ingredient, the sister of the bride No. 2 with her boyfriend who had perfect hair. Twas fun.

The next day was the big wedding..very sweet, very, very sweet. Tears and white tulle and blue ocean and lots of black mascara going to hell. It was so sweet that it started making la cubana twitchy. I think she thought I was gonna hold down the minister and scream, "Come on!! Marry us next!"

Please. I do have some class. I planned on waiting till after the reception and then holding our nuptials in the women's room.

The reception was fun, light, easy with none of this boring sit-down breakfast stuff. It was early, so we sipped mimosas.

La cubana and I fell into easy chit chat with two Cuban dykes, one a fellow ex of my ex, who seemed to almost ... ALMOST ... talk her into going back to Cuba for a visit.

... and I got the secret ingredient from Sweet Pea, the bridge mom. It's Worcestershire and -- GASP -- I can even spell it.

There were some weird moments for moi over the weekend, I mean I was at my most recent ex-lover's wedding, after all, and I did have to spend a big chunk of the day after the wedding reassuring my babe that I did not have the minister hiding under the bed, ready to marry us the second she let down her guard, but it was gorgeous. All in all, it was downright nice.

I never saw my ex look so happy, not with me, not without me. She looked radiant and in love and I guess that's just what everything should be about.

As for moi?? Well I'm tan, as I mentioned, and the Cuban and I will patch things up probably by the time you read this.

But I'm keeping that minister under the %$#@ bed ...

My moment will come. I know it!

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