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Chanukah Oy Chanukah
Oh Chanukah, oh Chanukahhhh come light the menorahhhh
La la la la, oh how the hell does that song from my child-hood go anyway?
Dang it I knew all those Michelob Lights in my formative years would catch up with me one day.
Anyway kishkah punams, its Chanukah once again and here goes my shpeel!
Growing up I felt, how shall I say it, JEALOUS!!!!! The Christians had it all man. They had huge parties! Non-stop television specials, celebrities singing Christmas songs, the whole friggen world seemed to be painted in green, red and gold!!
But for us of the 12 tribes, forgetaboutit! We had a couple of crappy specials on PBS maybe, the after-thought at a few super-markets; a menorah shoved behind the nativity scene and 8 days of candle lighting.
My mother Harriet, who we called “The Big H”, gave us the same speech ever year.
“It’s better to be Jewish! We have 8 days of presents and the goyim only have one!”
Yeah, 8 days of socks, shampoo, roll-on deodorant, notebooks, pens and other items that parents are supposed to give their kids all year long, not on holidays. Every third night or so, we’d get a real gift; a doll, (in my case the GI Joe Action figure) but the dolls were purchased at going-out-of-business sales, so they might be missing a small attachment, like say, for instance, an arm!!
Yes there I’d be after 8 days of Chanukah sitting in a sea of knee sox with an amputee GI Joe, a vampire comic book missing two pages and a jug of shampoo I wouldn’t use to wash the car! I didn’t even know shampoo came in jugs!!
My Christian friends played with their new puppies, train sets, designer dolls with all four limbs and munched on sugar cookies in the shape of stars while they sipped hot chocolate in front of the fire.
We sipped Diet RC Cola and ate day-old onion bagels in front of the TV!
Sigh, but Chanukah was not without it’s amusements. Dancing around the dinette set covered in Mom’s Chanukah feast of Empire Kosher fried chicken, ketchup, canned string beans and egg noodles, we sang the Yiddish version of the Chanukah song.
None of us knew all the Yiddish words so we improvised; Oy Chanukah, Oy Chanukah, Oy Yom tov go-norrra, (I think this is come light the menorah) a lista, kat a trela kat, a la, la, la a la la. (this part I have no idea at all), a li nechen dreidel, (something about spin the dreidel ).
We sang on and on in our lack of Yiddish something about latkes and one line that sounded like “fardy nesun? “ Which we all felt was about farting while perhaps spinning the dreidel, which trust me after fried chicken and ketchup not so far off. The point was, we had long lost the original song, but my whole family singing in a circle and dancing around the table, like Indians around the fire, was despite all our groans and complaints to the contrary; pure joy.
I’m guessing that was the point of The Big H, to dupe her kids into having a jolly old time 8 nights in a row.
We were so busy laughing; we didn’t even notice that the chicken was as dry as sheet-rock and the ketchup had been stolen from McDonald’s.
As an adult I am much more merciful about Chanukah, I celebrate one or two nights, give gifts my loved ones actually want and appreciate the warmth and generosity of the holiday season, regardless of religion.
The real significance of Chanukah is religious freedom anyway. It’s a festival commemorating the liberation of the temple of Jerusalem.
So in honor of liberation I declare red, green and gold the colors not just of Christmas but of Chanukah too!
This daughter of the tribe of Judah is declaring all 8 nights of Chanukah to be a celebration for everyone regardless of what or what they pray to and a dedication to this awesome time of year, when folks remember to be nice for at least a minute.
Now pass the Latkes heavy on the applesauce and let’s get to singing.
OY Chanukah, oy Chanukah la, la, la, la. They got fardee neisun et goot farty isummm. This part really cracked us up.
Anyone out there know the real words to this song?
2 comments
Leave it to the preschool teacher who is not even Jewish. It goes like this….oh Chanukah oh Chanukah come light the menorah. Lets have a party we will all dance the. Horah. Spin the whirling dreidals all week long. Eating the sizzling latke cakes sing a happy song. There is more but i wont bore you all any more. You are licky that you cant hear me singing it. Hehe he
thanks sister!!!